5

“That simple, huh?”

“It’s what you do when you truly love someone.”

“How is that worth it when nothing lasts forever? When everything ends some day and everyone eventually leaves?”

Lucas’s skin bunches around his eyes, and he clenches his hands into fists as I watch his eyes grow moist. “Fuck, we all failed you if that’s how you feel.” He pricks his fingers into his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Lucas has always been my big, unfazed uncle. The one who you go to for advice and the one who tells you to suck it up and try again when things are not working out. Seeing him break apart in front of my eyes forms a ball of hurt in the back of my throat that makes me want to scream.

“You’re right,” he continues when he has caught his breath. “Nothing is forever. But love runs so deep that if you’re lucky enough to find it, to find the one person you can’t live without... you don’t care about how many days, weeks, or months you get. Because you’ll take whatever you can get. Because it’s worth it. It’s worth the pain of losing them. Your father knew that.”

It’s worth the pain of losing them.

I bite my bottom lip, holding back the tears that are building up behind my eyes. The pain I’ve been feeling for weeks is excruciating, each memory eating me up on the inside. But if someone were to ask me if I’d want to erase them from my mind, it would be a definite no. Because it’s true what Lucas says; they are worth it. I’d rather feel the pain of not having Kayla in my life than not remembering she was there in the first place.

“I’m such an idiot,” I moan in a shaky voice. My hands are trembling and my uncle meets my despaired face. “I lost her.”

“She’s still alive.” His stern look softens with sympathy.

“I’ve been such an asshole.” I shake my head. “I totally fucked up.”

“She answered your call last night. She wouldn’t do that if you didn’t still have a chance.”

“I’m scared,” I confess.

“We all are, Bodi. But you’re not the type of guy that settles for fear. We clearly caught you short, but we sure as fuck didn’t raise a coward.”

I breathe in sharply through my nose, exhaling through my mouth, trying to get rid of the heavy feeling that still sits on my chest.

“What if she doesn’t want me back?”

“Then you fight for her until she does.”