5

39

BODI

Itextedherthe next day asking how her day was going. Then I waited.

For a week, I’d been waiting for my phone to vibrate, lighting up the screen with her name. But it never did. After a very cold shower, a decent meal, and some Maine fresh air, Jensen booked us a flight home the day after my drunken meltdown. I’d been talking to my uncle for most of my day, trying to rewrite history in my mind. I felt like I didn’t know my parents at all, which was nerve-wracking and heartbreaking all over again. But the stories Lucas shared about them the rest of the day were so filled with the love my parents had for each other that it also made me realize I want more. I want to feel a love that consumes you, that tears you apart, but you keep coming back for more because you can’t live without it.

I want that.

I want Kayla.

She asked for time, and I will give her all the time she needs, but as the radio silence continues, I feel like she’s slipping away. More than I already pushed her. I’m even tempted to call Rae, but she’s still not talking to me and I know she won’t listen to me until I have a game plan. Putting on my big pants, I grab my phone.

BODI:What do you think is the best venue for the next charity ball?

I nervously tap the wood, staring at the screen as if my desperate energy will magically make those three dots appear. I jerk, almost dropping my phone when they actually appear, and I wait in anticipation with a tremor in my fingers.

KAYLA:Are you trying to find an excuse to text me?

BODI:Maybe.

KAYLA:Piedmont Park. It could be an outdoor party.

BODI:That’s a great idea. Thanks.

KAYLA: You’re welcome.

I slowly push out a breath, relaxing my shoulders away from my neck. My fingers are aching to type another message, desperate to keep a conversation going. But I decide her reply is a good sign in general, and I should cherish my wins one day at a time. She needed time. But I know what she really means; you hurt me. I don’t trust you with my heart anymore. Now it’s my job to show her otherwise.

BODI:I’m watching Love Is Blind.

KAYLA:Liar.

BODI:I shit you not.

KAYLA:Why?

BODI:Wanted to see what you liked about those reality shows.

KAYLA:And?

BODI:I’m intrigued.

KAYLA:So am I.

KAYLA:So tell me, is love blind?

BODI:I think it could be.

BODI:I think I would fall for you in the pods without seeing you.

KAYLA:At least it would prevent you from using my age as an excuse.

BODI:I’m sorry.

KAYLA:I know you are.