Just like his father.
And just like his father, he’d set about using people like chess pieces.
People like Arlie Banks.
Guilt and self-loathing scalded him as he registered her warm skin on his. He’d dragged her straight into the swirling eye of the storm without a second thought.
And for what?
Eventual control of Kane Foods? Was it really even about that anymore? Had it ever been?
An avalanche of shame compressed his chest until he could no longer bear it.
“Arlie, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Her body tensed against him. “What?”
He hesitated, knowing there was no way to make what he was about to say any less terrible than it was.
“I wasn’t honest with you about the reason you were invited to interview for a food stylist position at Kane Foods.” She sat up, and he instantly missed the sleepy, solid weight of her. Eyes that had looked at him with such yearning only minutes ago were now wide with trepidation.
“The truth is, I’ve been looking for a way to push Mason out of the company, and I thought that maybe, if I brought you on, Mason might be tempted to break our father’s rule.”
There were any number of indignities Samuel would have willingly suffered to avoid the wounded look in Arlie’s eyes. “You hired me because you hoped your brother would seduce me?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“And what would have happened to me in that scenario?” she asked.
Hearing these words spoken so frankly and directly made him realize how little he’d considered what the world would truly look like for Arlie Banks had his plan succeeded.
She would have been fired, most certainly, but she would have made sure she left with a considerable severance. And maybe his brother as a consolation prize.
Or so he had told himself.
“Never mind,” she said, holding up a hand and scooting away.
“Please.” Samuel maneuvered himself upright, hot white pain piercing his shoulder. “Let me talk. Just for a minute.”
“No.” She pushed off the side of the bed and marched across the room, quickly stepping into her panties and fastening her bra. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”
Samuel covered himself with a blanket and carefully maneuvered to the edge of the mattress. “I know that there’s no excuse for what I did or any kind of apology that can make it right. But everything I did, I did before—”
“Before what? You decided that maybe you wanted to sample me before your brother had the chance?”
“It wasn’t like that,” he said.
“Really?” she asked, yanking her tank top over her sodden bra. “What was it like?”
Words. Treacherous words abandoned him and he sat there in silence as empty and dry as a desert. Try as he might, he couldn’t force any of the chaotic thoughts in his head to exit his mouth.
I didn’t know you wanted me like I wanted you.
I didn’t know Mason was capable of anything like self-sacrifice.
Disgust twisted Arlie’s delicate features. “The other morning, when I confessed what had happened with Gastronomie, you could have told me. But you let me stand there, thinking I had taken advantage of this opportunity. You let me believe that I had disappointed you. That I was the one who was dishonest.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, unable to meet her gaze.
“It looks like we both are.” Arlie stepped back into her khakis, hastily zipping them before gathering her bag. “There I was, eager for the opportunity when apparently, I didn’t do my real job to your satisfaction.”
“Arlie—”
“I have to hand it to you.” She dug her hands into her passion-tangled hair to gather it into an elastic. “That was a pretty impressive little speech last night. Was that just the drugs talking, or are you really capable of deliberately toying with the life of someone you claim to have been in love with once upon a time?”
Samuel forced a breath into his lungs. “It’s not just a claim, Arlie. It’s a part of my life I made myself forget.”
“Must be nice,” she said, thunderheads darkening her eyes. “To surgically excise entire portions of your memory. Was this a recent effort? Or did I become an inconvenient part of your history before you decided to use me as bait?”
He looked up at her, deliberately memorizing every detail, knowing that this might very well be the last conversation they’d ever have. “When your mother was fired and Mom died six months later, it was like everything light and good in my world vanished.”
Her bitter scowl softened, if only infinitesimally, so he went on.
“I couldn’t live in a world where I’d lost that much. So I created one where I’d never had anything worth losing at all. I know it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done, but I meant what I said in the limo. I did love you, Arlie. Before I let myself become a parody of everything I despised, I loved you.”
He willed her to believe him.
“I’m sorry for what happened to you, Samuel,” Arlie said, waiting until he looked her in the eye. “Just like I’m sorry that your tyrant of a father showered Mason with attention and ignored and criticized you. I’m sorry that you’re still letting a man like that run your life. But most of all, I’m sorry that you felt like the best way to fix that was to interfere with mine.”
Arlie hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and stalked toward the door.
He yearned to go after her to do or say whatever it took to keep her there, with him. But with him was exactly the last place she should be. For reasons he both knew and wished he could forget, being far away from him was the very best possible thing for Arlie Banks.
He let her go.
The door closed behind her like a gunshot.