His face softens. "Liv, I don't know if I can give you what you want right now."
"Start with dropping the ‘Liv,’" I say.
He looks startled. "That bothers you? It is your name,” he says pointedly.
"It bothers me because you use it now to show indifference to me. I don't like it."
"Huh?" he says as if that never even occurred to him. "You do it as well, you know."
"Do what?" I ask, perplexed.
"You call me ‘Constantine’ when you are cross or upset with me or trying to be serious. Or at least before all this. Now, you just call me that all of the time."
Surprised that he noticed, I say, "It didn't seem appropriate under the circumstances to call you anything else."
"Same here."
"Constantine. Don't you see what is happening here? We are doing it all over again. Will we never learn? If not, how can we be together in the future?"
"I don't know what you mean?"
"I mean we are acting like two stubborn fools. Or more so, you are acting like a stubborn fool and I am letting you. It ends, right here, right now."
"You think I’m being stubborn?"
"Yes. You won't talk to me. Do you know this is the most you've said to me at any one time in the last six months? And that we have spoken about something other than business? Not to mention the other stuff."
"Other stuff?"
"Christ, answer a question instead of asking more!" I yell at him suddenly.
"What other stuff?" he presses, interested.
"You know…the other stuff," I say, pointing to the bedroom, but he still looks lost. "Your bedroom, the gentle touch, the undressing, the kissing, the biting. You have done none of those things until tonight."
"Oh," he says, staring at me with a look on his face I can't place.
"What? You think I wouldn't notice?"
"More like I think you wouldn't care," he says quietly.
"What?" I say, now in genuine shock. "Wouldn't care? Wouldn't care that you have treated me like a fuck toy. Like a…Pet?" I hurl the word at him in disgust.
Horrified, he steps back. "A Pet? Is that how you've felt?"
I gesture madly at the collar still around my neck and I think he realizes his actions for the first time.
"Liv, no, no. That's not how I wanted you to feel. I just…Oh, Christ, I wasn't even thinking about how you were feeling. I was just lost in my own anger at you, my own misery at losing you."
"Losing me? Losing me? You never lost me, Constantine. I made a decision that affected all of us, yes. But mostly it is to do with Lincoln and me. He is an Alpha, he needs an Alpha mate. He needs the strongest mate he can find to cement his authority and he picked me. I need him to help build bridges between us and them. And I like him. He is fun and witty and there's no drama with him. But you never lost me to him. You never will. Will you never get that? You stubborn, fucking fool!"
He blinks at me. "I don't suppose I will. Liv, I spent so many years taking out the threat before it even became a threat. I met you and that changed. You had, have, the capacity to hurt me – to destroy me – and you have on several occasions. Yes, I know I have been stupid enough to contribute, but now I just can't do it anymore. I retreat. I go on the defensive because I can't fight for you again and lose you again. I just can't do it." He looks so forlorn, I want to hold him, but I stay where I am.
"But you didn't lose me, that's my point, Constantine. You didn't lose me. I was still yours. I am still yours. I may
be somewhat…" I hesitate, looking for the right word.
"Borrowed?" he snarls.