The Maiden (The Cloister Trilogy 1)

Noah shrugs. “I guess he’s just doing what God tells him, or the Father of Fire.”

“You still believe that horse shit?” I hate myself for wanting to pummel him.

“You saw the flames. You saw what he can do.”

I shake my head. “What we thought we saw when we were stupid kids doesn’t mean anything. And it doesn’t explain what he does to Mom, or you, or me, or anyone else in this goddamn pit.” I whirl on him. “Wake the fuck up, Noah! Our father doesn’t speak to God or the devil, or anyone other than his coke habit. This place is the farthest thing from holy. And he’s planning on making it all worse.”

His jaw clenches. “I don’t believe that.” He frowns. “Well, not all of it.”

“Fuck off, Noah.” I turn my back on him, then stop. Turning, I say, “Look, I—”

“No, I get it.” He holds up his hands and backs away. “I’m fucking off. Forget that I came to warn you, that I always have your back, that I always take your side against Dad.”

Regret punches me in the gut, but I let him go. I add the hurt in his eyes to my already-crushing problems.

Chapter 31

Delilah

Adam doesn’t come. I wait for him, wondering what he endured this morning. Grace questioned me, using her baton on me every time I gave her an answer she didn’t like, and then violated me in an even worse way. I’m sore, bruised, but holding onto hope that Adam will know I didn’t say a word. And I need to see him. Not because of what happened with Grace, or to find out what’s going on, or even to ask about Georgia. I just need to see him.

I stand and walk to the bathroom, examining my injuries under the harsh bathroom light. My mottled skin will heal in time, and even my broken finger is starting to mend. I glance up at the newly-installed camera in the corner and feel sick. There’s nowhere to hide. Not anymore.

Pulling my dress back into place, I return to my bed. Everything hurts, so I lie down and stare at the door. Waiting. Maybe he’ll never come again. The thought twists in my gut like a knife. Surely, he’d never tell them anything. Or would he give me up? I shake my head at the thought. He wouldn’t. And if he had, I get the feeling I’d know it. Grace looks forward to punishing me more than her next breath. She’d take any opportunity to grind me down.

I try to calm my racing heart. Closing my eyes, I hear phantom footsteps that sound just like Adam. But they aren’t him. The other Protectors have already come and gone. I’m alone. I pull my knees up and hug them. It’s easier to make myself small now. Slow, methodical starvation does that to a person.

My eyes close, but I still listen for him. I can feel him inside me, the ache reminding me with every step I take that I’m different now. But is he?

A scratching noise at my door startles me awake. The moon is gone, the sky outside black—it’s late in the night. The scratch comes again. I hurry out of bed and hesitate by the door.

“Let us in.” Sarah’s voice reassures me, and I open up.

“We can’t go in the bathroom,” I whisper as she, Susannah, Eve, and Hannah line up along the wall under the camera.

“Yeah, I heard you got a little extra hardware installed.” Sarah puts a hand up to stop me from closing the door. “We’re going.”

“Right now?” The urge to run with them pulls at me like a strong undertow.

“Bitch is in the bathroom. This is our chance. Are you coming?”

I should say no, instead, different words come out. “I-I’m not sure.”

“You better get sure.” Sarah’s dark eyes meet mine, and the intensity in hers brings me back to myself.

Sarah’s right. I should leave this place. I’ve gotten no closer to finding out what happened to Georgia, and at this rate, I could end up at the Chapel in short order. The thoughts are all so reasonable, but my feet are anchored to the ground.

Georgia keeps me here—her ghost lingering in the dark halls, hints of her like cobwebs so fine they can only be felt, not seen. Leaving is failure. Giving up on her has never been an option. But is this giving up? Or is this finding the truth in another way?

“Ten seconds, and then we’re out.” Sarah peers into the hallway.

And now, it’s not just Georgia that ties me to the Cloister. Adam—he’s another reason to refuse this offer. My heart pulls toward him, demanding I stay right where I am. But I can’t trust that organ anymore, not when it’s led me to this. Dying here, or something worse, is not what Georgia would have wanted for me. There has to be some other way. And maybe, I lie to myself, I can still be with Adam.