“Yes,” I croak out and hope that he thinks I am just being emotional.
He tightens his hold on me and I know he is going to say something to me that I desperately want to hear. I hold my breath and wait, but it doesn’t come. He stiffens and lets go of me. He steps back and I know he has pulled away. I did something that has made him wary of me, but I don’t know what.
“Don’t go,” I say as the tears seep out of my eyes. “Please, Remiel.”
“I must. I will be back for you at your next Heat,” he says sadly and he Astrals off, leaving me distraught and alone.
“NO!” I scream into the silence. “No!” I sweep everything off the cabinets and they crash to the floor. I smash the mirror above the basins with my fist a dozen times until there is nothing left of it. I rip the shower door off and slam it against the bathtub, taking a large chunk out of that as well. I am still screaming at the top of my voice for him to come back, but of course he doesn’t. I have tears streaming down my face and my nose is running like a tap because somehow I have lost him and with him any chance of getting to my daughter. I am trembling in rage and sorrow when Devon comes storming into the bathroom with CK hot on his heels. They take in the disaster that is the bathroom and then focus on the disaster that is me. I fall into Devon’s arms, sobbing like my heart is breaking and he comforts me as CK just stands there taking in the damage.
“Aefre,” he finally says as I calm down enough for him to be heard. “What happened here?”
I manage to tell my tale and while neither of them like it, they understand my frustration and distress.
“So he was here?” Devon asks to make sure. “And then he left.”
“He didn’t just leave, Devon,” I say. “He pulled away from me and then he left.”
Devon looks perplexed as he doesn’t see the difference, but CK gives me a knowing look.
“He knows something is wrong,” he states.
“I pushed him. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it. I will never see her now,” I say mournfully.
“You will,” Devon says determinedly. “We will find a way.”
I nod absently, knowing that I have played my last hand. Remiel won’t fall for that again, I know it. It is going to take a miracle now.
Chapter 17
The Underworld, April 2014 - Aefre
The days roll into weeks and all of a sudden it is the day that CeeCee is meant to be executed for her treason. I am dreading it. The pit of my stomach feels like lead and I have begged Xane to let me off going, but he is adamant that I attend. I know he is right. It wouldn’t look good if I didn’t turn up, but it is one of the worst days ever to get ready for. CK is being very attentive, as he knows how sick I feel about this. He bathes me, dresses me, and feeds me, all because I can’t do it myself. I feel catatonic, and not just because of CeeCee. Every day for the past twenty-nine days, I have called for Remiel to come back to me. I even got so desperate that I have called my mother to come to see me. Neither one has, no surprise there, really. What do they need me for now? My job is done. I feel sick and empty and this is not what I need right now.
“Can you just tell him I’m ill?” I ask CK as he ushers me to the door.
“No, I cannot,” he says firmly. “Stand your ground, Aefre. You released the Dark Fae from the Vampires and that was your first real authoritative stand. This is your second and it is more important than ever that you stick to it.”
“It’s too much. I can’t do this,” I say quietly. “I am not like you.”
He takes mild offense to my words, but I didn’t mean them that way. He is strong, he always has been and he always will be. He makes me strong and without him next to me today, I don’t know how I am going to cope. He turns me around and pushes me towards the door. I open it and Xane is waiting for me in full Overlord regalia. He grimaces at me as I stand there in what I assume is appropriate execution wear: a black gown that covers me from neck to toes. I Shifted a while ago and while CK is not that thrilled with Xerxei as a whole, he leans down to kiss me softly and mutter to me that everything will be okay.
I don’t believe him.
I want out of this situation and out of my life right now.
Xane takes my hands and Astraports me to the Castle. This is a side of it that I have never seen and I hope to never again. The mood is solemn and I try to ignore the wails and plaintive cries of CeeCee’s family and friends. Xane leads me to the platform and seats me in the throne and I have never been so glad to park my backside in my entire life. My knees were this close to giving out. He stands there like this is any ordinary day and maybe it is for him. I neglected to ask him how many of these he has been to, never mind ordered.
My stomach clenches as they bring in CeeCee. She is upright and proud and not at all the mess I thought she would be. I have respect for her in that moment.
The guards bring her to a halt in front of us and Xane asks, “Last words?”
Geez, that was kind of sudden. No beating about the bush around here.
The Great Hall goes completely silent. Even the weeping family has quieted down for this.
We wait and then she speaks.
“I’m pregnant,” CeeCee states and the hushed silence suddenly becomes an uproar. There is shouting and yelling while she just stands there with her eyes fixed on Xane. My stomach drops for the millionth time that day. I fix my own gaze onto him and he turns to me as he senses the boring into the back of his head. He rolls his eyes at me as he knows what I am thinking, and turns back to face the crowd.