“You don’t know that,” I say anyway. “You don’t know that Delinda and this baby won’t be born.”
“Delinda was fathered by a man that raped you, and that you would neve
r have even met if it weren’t for this whole Queen business. How do think she will come to exist if all of that changes?” he asks me quietly. “And you sure as hell wouldn’t be pregnant now if you were just a normal Vampire. What does Constantine make of this?”
I frown at him. He seems awfully concerned about me keeping my children for a man who isn’t the father to either one of them. But then I see straight through him. He is using them to make me decide not to go. He knows anything else won’t really matter to me, and that it can be fixed with fate. Delinda? Not really. He is right about that. His own reasons for not wanting me to do this are so strong, and I get it.
“Your life is so intricately woven by the Fates, Lizzie. Maybe going back to the past to try and change it is a waste of time,” he says.
“But it could change for the better,” I say. “If I tell past me to make different choices, and past you…”
“No, I am happy now,” he says. “I don’t want you to go back and start meddling.”
“You just don’t want me to go back and make sure we were never reverse-turned,” I snap at him.
“Yes,” he says defiantly. “Everything revolves around that, or part of that. Think it through, Lizzie. Leave well enough alone.”
We simmer at each other in silence for a few moments and then he says, “You are happy now, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I say quietly.
“Then leave the past alone,” he says.
“I could stop myself from losing my baby,” I whisper to him.
“Maybe, maybe not,” he whispers back. “Is it worth losing the child you are carrying now to find out?”
“Why do you care so much?” I ask him.
“Because I love you and I know that this child, and Delinda, make you happy. Why would you want to mess with that?” he asks me as he gathers me to him.
I sniffle into his shirt for a long time, coming to terms with the fact that this is it. I had always held onto the hope that I could go back and change things, but everything he has said has made sense. I could make things even worse. And I am happy now. Yes, life is complicated, and I have had some severe blows recently, but who is to say that wouldn’t happen again? If my life is so dictated by the Fates, they would have made sure to have this happen all over again.
Chapter 19
“Now, about that bite?” Devon asks me after I have finished crying.
“Maybe later,” I murmur, to his disappointment.
Well, that makes two of us. All I wanted was us to be bonded again, but he has rejected it.
“I haven’t rejected you,” he says to me quietly. “Don’t be like that.”
Damn him and his capacity to read my mind…or face.
“I need to go and find Delinda,” I say.
“Of course,” he says, unable to say anything else now that he has used her to make his case for me not returning to the past.
“I will come and see you tomorrow,” I say and then bite my lip. I have no need to say the words because once again he knows what I am thinking.
His face goes rigid, but he says, “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“We don’t have to…” I start.
“Don’t,” he says. “I want to. I love you and I am desperate to show you. I stepped up and declared my love for you and you agreed to marry me, however, so far, it has been less than the impressive gesture I was hoping for.”
“You are far from less than impressive,” I say and stroke his cheek. “I love you, my darling boy.”