I hesitate now. “Mostly,” I say, and a pained expression crosses his face. “My love, I don’t want to hurt you, but you know I can’t be without him for long periods. When he is at Court it will just be us. You and me and nobody else.”
“You need to go to your own Court,” he says then, changing the subject abruptly. “I know we spoke of this the other day, but, Aefre, you need to go and see Drake. Soon.”
“I don’t want to,” I say petulantly.
“I know you don’t, but it would be better for everyone if you went to him. If he takes it upon himself to come here again…” he trails off and a frisson of dread goes down my spine. No, that wouldn’t be good at all.
“Fine, I will go. I will show my face for a couple of days, and when I get back, we will go on our vacation,” I say, and he nods briskly.
“Take Sebastian with you. I don’t want you around him on your own.”
“Okay, I don’t really want to be around him on my own anyway.” I sigh, but then look up at him from my lowered lashes. “Now, where were we?” I ask seductively as I snake my hand down in between us and he grins, happy to have me initiate for a change.
Chapter 4
We told Sebastian that I was going to go to Court, and he sent word that we would be arriving shortly. We left the date open as I was nervous and still did not want to go. To say that Drake and I do not get along is the understatement of the century. He came here looking for me several months ago and I rejected him. He is mean and a bully and I hate him. I didn’t need him in my life, but as it turned out he needed me. So much, in fact, that he kidnapped my daughter and kept her in a disgusting hole deep underground until I told him that I would do as he wished. Ever since then I have tried to avoid going back to Court and he has tried everything to get me to go. But if he ever lays a hand on Cassis again, I will kill him. I am dreading going again. I don’t want to see him, but Constantine is right in saying that if he comes back here it will be bad for all of us. I need to brush it off and do my duty, to protect my daughter and my family.
“I am going to miss you while you are gone,” Constantine says to me in between kisses between my breasts.
“I am going to miss you too. I wish I didn’t have to go,” I say and sigh.
“It’s for the best, my love. You know you must. I wish I could come with you.” He pushes my breast into a small mound and tugs on my nipple and it sends a shiver down my spine.
“I know. I wish you could as well, but it wouldn’t be a good idea. You know how he feels about you. When I get back, we will be together,” I say, and he smiles at me.
“I can’t wait. Aefre,” he says, then seriously. “I know the last few days have been traumatic for you, but I am glad that you had this…breakdown. It has changed you. If possible, I love you even more now.”
“I love you even more now too,” I say as he resumes his task of little kisses to me that are driving me crazy. “Constantine. I…I know about Serena,” I blurt out and he stops what he is doing to look up at me. “I know that you want her because she is Sebastian’s and I understand that you want to take something that is his and I know that I have no right to ask you this, but will you please end it? I can’t bear thinking about you with anyone else. I am sorry I am such a hypocrite.”
“Aefre,” he says. “I want to do as you ask, I really do, but soon you are going to be with child, with Sebastian’s child.” He sits up and turns away from me. “I’m sorry, my love, but thinking about that tears me up inside. It makes me…you know how it makes me,” he says sadly. “Once you start to show, I don’t think I will be able to be with you or even sleep in the same bed with you,” he adds quietly. “I will need something to distract me. I need the distraction now or I am going to lose myself again. Please say you understand?”
I sit up as well and place my cheek on his shoulder. “I do, my love. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. Forget I said anything.”
He turns to me again. “No, I love that you asked. A few weeks ago, even a few days ago, I felt you didn’t care enough to ask. I will end it, after. I promise you.”
I nod, knowing that I am undeserving even of that much.
“Do you think that we might try again ourselves one day?” he asks me shyly.
“Do you want to?” I ask, a bit surprised by his question.
“Yes, very much so. Cassis means the world to me and I love sharing her with you. That she is a part of both of us. I want that again.”
“Then we will try,” I say with a smile and his face lights up.
“Thank you,” he murmurs as he kisses me. “Now let me make love to y
ou before you go.”
And he does, twice, before we are interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Time to go,” Sebastian says softly as he sees us wrapped around each other on the bed.
I nod. “Just let me get showered and changed.”
“Of course,” he says and watches me walk naked into the bathroom.
“Take care of her,” I hear Constantine say gruffly, as I close the door.