This time, it was Rowan who focused his gaze on Juliana. He did not want to see a vulnerable Princess Juliana. Some inner beast batted at the cages inside of him. He could handle her haughty and independent and even stepping in front of metaphorical bullets for her sister. But for some reason, probably a leftover latent Neanderthal gene, thinking of Juliana vulnerable or needy, cranked his inner motor to a rushing crescendo of permanent rev.
What an asshole.
The question pounding through him went unasked. This, he knew, was an icy slope. He sensed he needed a barrier between himself and Juliana. Self-preservation at its best. To know her, he thought, would be to like her.
He remained silent, refocusing on Violet and her horse.
Violet had mounted the great beast and was leading him in circles around the arena. Trotting prettily. a half-grin peeked out from under the brim of the cap she wore.
Suddenly, Rowan’s thoughts returned to Juliana and her statement. Who was it in her life whose love and respect she felt she needed to earn? He’d seen her with Jamie and Ele. There were no pretenses between the three of them. Instead, a tangible comfort existed, which others envied.
Growing up as an only child, Rowan could sense their bond. He’d experienced it with Tristan and Sheena too. He wondered what it would be like to share the burden of family with a sibling. If he’d had a brother or a sister, would they be with him in this fight against the legacy waiting for him?
His gaze locked on Violet. Why, and what would make Juliana think she was anything like Vi?
Rowan’s musings were cut short by Juliana’s hand on his arm.
With her attention still focused on the ring in front of them, she asked, “What is the plan for you, post-surgery? I am happy to take care of you, but I need to inform the palace of my plans.”
Of course she did. He hadn’t thought of her obligations when he cornered her into caring for him. He remembered Juliana’s words when his mother had left them that day. Indeed, how long were they going to continue this charade?
Rowan propped his crutches beside him and leaned down on the fencing. He turned his head and looked at Juliana. “The surgery is outpatient. For most people, this surgery is a simple fix. I figure mine will be a bit more complicated. Even so, I’ll be home later in the day.”
Juliana’s gaze was still focused on the ring. “I’ll need to stay with you?”
“Nico will take care of me the first two days. But then he needs to go out of town. Ideally, you would stay with me while he’s gone.” It struck Rowan what an imposition it would be for her. “Obviously, if you have other things …”
Juliana turned toward him and stared right into his eyes. “How could I possibly be away from my fiancé when he needs me?” Her voice was gently sarcastic.
“Point taken,” he replied drolly. “But please, feel free to come and go as you need. I know the first couple of days will be rough, but then it should get easier.” He was struck by a horrifying thought. “How do you feel about dogs?”
Juliana smiled. “I love dogs. Does Nico have a dog?”
Rowan cleared his throat. “No. But I do.”
“What kind of dog?”
“I have three.”
“Three?”
“Yes.”
“And they will be at Nico Ramsey’s house?”
“Nico has been caring for them since my injury. So, they are probably undisciplined now.”
“But they didn’t used to be. I imagine they were trained to be good little soldiers.”
He supposed he should have been annoyed by the comment, but it was hard to argue truth. He liked order and had made no secret of it. Her making a joke of it warmed him in an odd way. “Yes, of course.”
“Well, tit for tat.”
“Huh?”
“The queen would like for you to come to the palace. When you are able,” she said. He was about to agree when she hurried on. “As you can imagine, this is all news to her. She feels like we moved forward without her knowledge, and she deserves an introduction.”
“She has met me, you know.”
“Right. But as the skipper of her national team. Not as the fiancé of her granddaughter.”
“Yes, there’s that,” he said, chuckling.
This charade was all fine and good. Juliana seemed to think she could gain something by it. And he was getting his freedom from Nava because of it. There were concessions to win for both of them.
Just then, Violet called his name. He turned to watch her as she sailed over the railing and galloped out of sight. The beauty of the beast and her moving as one rocketed through him. The kid was talented. And whatever had inspired her to get him out of the house and down to the stables, he was thankful for it. She’d surprised him since the moment he’d woken up in this house and noticed her sitting beside him. He would forever be angry with the duke and his mother for snatching him from his life. But perhaps he could admit he was glad to have discovered Violet, his little sister. Shit. He had a little sister.
Violet appeared behind them, dragging Rowan out of his thoughts.
“What’d you think?” she asked, her face alight with excitement.
“You’re a star!” Juliana gushed, pulling Violet into a spontaneous hug. “And your horse is beautiful.”
Those tethers and strings and connections he’d fought for so long wrapped around him like a hungry octopus. A smile, born at the intersection of love and pride, lit up his face. He imagined it resembled one his mother wore when she watched him on the pitch.
Turning carefully, he leaned against the fencing and opened his arms. Violet hesitated long enough for Rowan to remember he’d never hugged her. The seconds passed awkwardly, but in for a penny, in for a pound. He reached out with his hand and drew her close to him. Once within his embrace, she patted his back uneasily. It took him a moment to realize it wasn’t him she was uncomfortable with. It was affection in general. Against every single instinct of self-preservation, he pulled her in tighter.
“Brilliant!” He released her and patted her on the head.
He thought of Tristan and Sheena then. Their antics a quick film in his mind. A push here, a good-natured shove, a boxed ear. Brother-sister ribbing. As Violet turned away, her face flushed with embarrassment, he put her in a headlock and gave her a noogie. She screeched her annoyance before dissolving into laughter. He unwrapped his arm from around her, making sure she was steady on her feet.
When she looked over her shoulder at him, glowing now with mirth, he felt like he’d won the world championship all over again.