31
19 March
Austin Manor
Rowan threw the blanket off with a huff. He’d figured he would drop into bed and fall into an exhausted slumber. Instead, his body hummed with an untapped energy. Still, he remained in bed, both out of self-preservation and trepidation.
He’d been feeling good about his excursion earlier in the day. He’d maneuvered around the stadium and the bar without incident. But walking around Nico’s house in the dark seemed an impossible feat. And he knew, if he left his room right now, he would take the shortest route possible to Juliana’s room and set things in motion that he would never be able to stop.
He pulled the blanket back over his body and stared up at the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to fall asleep.
But instead of sheep or reliving his best plays on the pitch, his mind spun with images of all the things he wanted to do with and to Princess Juliana. To his chagrin, there was even a fantasy of her with her tiara perched upon her head. Kinky in a way he hadn’t really expected. But those sexual fantasies were interspersed with other moments—tender visions. Like tonight on the pitch, when she had been talking about her siblings, he’d wanted to drag her across the seat and into his lap. That moment wasn’t sexual either. He’d actually wanted to comfort her. Which was another damn good reason to stay in his bed tonight. But then he remembered her cheekiness in the restaurant when she’d teased him about Leia’s loyalty. And his resolve to stay in his room faltered.
Then, he heard her. Or sensed her.
He kicked off the covers, grabbed his brace, and strapped it on. He glared at his offending crutches, wishing he could take the trip without them but knowing it would be foolish. With a scoff, he stood on his good leg and reached for his hobbler sticks. Just shoving them under his chapped arms made him grimace, and his first tentative steps in the dark were angry. He wondered if he would ever get over the flare of indignation and rage when he thought about the future and what it looked like. With a stomp and a hitch, he made his way down the hall. He knew exactly where Juliana would be if she were truly up. She liked to hide out in the library.
As he drew closer, he tried to walk softer. He didn’t want to announce his arrival, but he didn’t want to startle her either. When he entered the large, open doorway, she was already getting to her feet.
After a head-to-toe perusal, her gaze met his. “Are you okay? Do you need something? It was a long day. I bet your leg is throbbing. Do you want some pain reliever?”
Her stream of questions washed over him, her concern evident.
Something is throbbing, and it’s not my leg, he thought as he took her in.
He was buying her flannel pajamas that covered her neck to toe as a thank-you gift when all of this was over. She really needed to keep those legs covered as much as possible. Her tiny, tiny shorts came to just under the curve of her ass. Her hair was shoved up into a messy bun, leaving her elegant neck exposed. Rowan meant to answer her questions, but he was too busy thinking about where he wanted to put his mouth.
“Ro. Are you okay?” she asked again.
Instead of speaking, he moved forward. When only a meter separated them, he let one of his crutches clatter to the floor and reached for her. His hand landed gently on her face, and he rubbed his thumb back and forth on her cheek. Her eyes blinked closed, and she leaned into his touch.
“My leg is fine,” he said, but his voice was gravelly.
Her luminous green eyes winked open, and the answer to his unasked question shimmered there. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. So, when she stepped back from him, enough for his hand to slide away, he was stunned.
He bent to pick up his crutch, but Juliana beat him to it. She held it in her hand, slightly out of reach.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
He really, really, really did not want to talk. If they talked, he would have to think about what he was doing, chasing her to her sanctuary in the middle of the night. He would have to deal with the implications of the actions he wanted to take. He would have to acknowledge he liked this woman standing in front of him. He would have to admit he’d been wrong about her from the moment they’d met. And he fucking hated being wrong about anything.
“It’s not necessary,” he growled.
Then, the little chit rolled her eyes at him.
His mouth gaped open. Incredulous, he snapped, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”
She had the nerve to do it again, as if she couldn’t contain her exasperation. “Yes,” she said. “I think we need to talk before this goes any further. And you are … acting like you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means, you don’t get your way, and you get all growly. All your nonsense about ‘consent’ ”—she mocked with air quotes—“and yet you’re offended I want to talk before we get physical. Bit of a hypocrite if you get mad when a woman tells you no.” She crossed her arms over her chest and smirked.
He thought the top of his head was going to blow off as rage streamed through his blood. His face flushed, and he wanted nothing more than to stomp from the room. But he couldn’t even do that. Pulling air into his lungs, he held it, counted to ten, and released it. After five deliberate breaths, he had his temper under control.
She was right. Again. He didn’t need to be an asshole just because he was feeling rejected and unsure. He swung around on his good leg and dropped into the plush chair. Juliana pushed the ottoman closer and he pulled his leg up, so it rested in front of him while his other foot remained on the ground. He leaned his head back and sighed.
“You’re right. What do you want to talk about?”
Juliana walked forward and sat between his legs, careful to avoid any pressure on his injury. As she settled, a frightening thought occurred to him.
I can’t fuck even if I want to.
His back snapped ramrod straight, pushing him into Juliana’s space.
Her gaze flew to his, concern flooding her face. “Did I hurt you?”
The horror of his realization must have shown like a flashing marquee because she stood abruptly.
“I am so sorry. I thought I was being careful.”
Rowan couldn’t even assuage her guilt because he couldn’t speak. He knew his eyes were wide, and he imagined he looked comical. His alarm was reflected in her face.
“Rowan, you are scaring me. Do I need to call the doctor?”
He reached out for her and pulled her back. He really didn’t want to go there now because what an absolute clusterfuck of a night. But he owed her his honesty. She’d taken care of him with surprising efficiency and concern without any outside help. She’d asked for nothing in return. So, embarrassing himself on the altar of balancing the scales seemed only fair.
He leaned forward and placed a platonic kiss on her forehead. “I admit, I came down here with a specific purpose,” he began.
She grinned at him. “Really,” she said drolly.
And damn if her response didn’t make him smile. Some of the panic faded away. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Especially because …” He couldn’t push the words out of his mouth.
Juliana placed her hand on his uninjured leg. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I promise. I knew what you wanted as soon as you appeared in the doorway. And I want it too.” She giggled. God, he loved the sound of it. She was adorable in all her nervous splendor. “It. Like I’m a child.”
He laughed. “You want to fuck me too?”
Juliana cracked up. “Oh, the romance,” she teased.
“Straight-up Casanova.”
Juliana looked around the room. “Funny, I don’t see any hearts or flowers.”
He reached out and tapped her on the nose. The laughter died between them as their gazes locked. The punch of lust rushed through him, making his dick throb. He shifted in his seat and tried to put a small amount of space between them.
“Tell me,” he said softly.
“We’re so complicated,” she stated. “This farce between us. What we still need to pull off. Sex will complicate it.”
“Yes, it will.” No need to mince words. He imagined sex with Juliana would completely fuck with his peace of mind.
“And …” Now, she looked away from him. She straightened her back and moved her head from side to side. Then, her eyes returned to his. “And I’ve never had sex before. I’m liberated enough to know sex doesn’t have to mean anything other than a physical release. And I mean, I know there’s nothing else between us, so I am confident I will handle it. But I just thought you should know.”
Rowan worked to keep his face neutral. But he was astonished that this beautiful creature in front of him, who had traveled around the world and been exposed to the blue-bloodiest people, had managed to hold a part of herself to herself.
“I don’t want you to think I’m some virtuous not till I’m married girl. There’s no religious, political, or other reason. It’s just I’ve never had the opportunity.”
Rowan almost laughed because he’d bet any man who had ever met her wanted to have sex with her. She was beautiful, smart, witty, and royal. But he could also see boys being intimidated and men thinking she must be taken.
“So, now, you know my secret.”
Rowan didn’t even consider his actions. He leaned forward and placed his mouth against hers. She opened like he’d muttered the secret code word, and he entered like a conquering hero. It was like every other time he’d had the pleasure of kissing her. Her sweet taste was an explosion for his tongue. Her soft moans caressed his ears. And when his hands framed her face, her warm, flawless skin was a texture ambrosia. He felt her hands wrap around his wrists, and her thumbs rubbed back and forth. And at thirty-two Rowan discovered he had an erogenous zone he’d been unaware existed. He kissed her with a ravenous hunger, and she fed him like it was her mission.
Her hands left his wrists, landing on his chest. She slid her hands underneath his shirt and found his nipples. She circled each one and gently scratched the beaded nub. His hips punched up, his cock seeking to find her heat. He groaned, low in his throat, before pulling away from her kiss. He couldn’t focus with her hands on him. She continued to tease him.
Dropping his forehead to hers, he sucked in a breath. One rabid thought broke through his lusty haze. This ingenue was going to bring him to his knees. She draped one of her legs over his and scooted toward him. He lifted her and brought her down on his lap, so he could feel her wet heat through her tiny shorts. Then, he shoved aside the little piece of material keeping him from feeling her warmth on his fingers.
“Oh, yes. Right there. You feel so good,” she gasped as his finger slid back and forth through her wetness.
Rowan worked hard to control his own reaction to her chanting words. He pushed inside, and her pussy clenched around him. His other hand slid under her ass, and he lifted her a little, so his mouth could feast on her breast.
“Pull it up,” he commanded.
Juliana immediately complied, lifting up her sweatshirt, and his mouth closed around her nipple. He licked around it and then gently bit down. She cried out, and he moved his thumb to her clit, knowing she was close. He added another finger and found that spot inside of her that had her mewling and pumping her hips. She exploded around him, and to his infinite surprise, he came like a teenage boy. He bit down on her nipple, and she cried out. He couldn’t hold on to a thought, but he wanted her mouth on his.
“Kiss me,” he demanded.
Juliana leaned down and opened her mouth over his. The kiss went on, and he gave her clit one last swipe. She shuddered with sensitivity, and he ended the kiss. He held her and dropped little kisses on her mouth and cheeks and neck, inhaling the scent of the two of them. When the fog of spent lust subsided, he lifted her and deposited her on the couch, alleviating the pressure on his leg.
She leaned her forehead on his chest. “We’ve made a bit of a mess.”
Rowan smiled. “Sex is messy in more ways than one.”
Juliana lifted her head and looked at him. Suddenly shy, she tentatively said, “Do you want to go to my room?”
He sighed. “I would love to. But there’s a bit of a problem.”
She raised her brow, the question implied.
He gestured impatiently to his leg. “I can’t fuck.”
Juliana’s laughter filled the room. She shook with it. The longer she laughed, the more annoyed he became.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny.” He felt like a child, but damn, he did not need her laughing at his inability to have sex.
She raised her hand to his cheek, her laughter subsiding. “I might have done some research …”