When she lifted her face to his, her blank expression warned him she was about to lie. “Don’t,” he pleaded. “Whatever bullshit you’re about to tell me. Don’t.”
They stared at each other. Apparently, if she couldn’t tell him lies, she had nothing to say. But he couldn’t sit by helplessly either.
“Cam. Baby. What do you need? What can I do?”
New tears streaked down her bruised cheeks. “You can go home, Ian. Go back to the States, to your life. Forget everything you saw on this island.”
Rage sent him springing from the stool. The furniture crashed to the floor behind him. Startled by the sound, Cameron jumped, crying out in pain.
“Forget?” he yelled. “How the hell do I forget anything? God knows if I could, I would’ve forgotten you a long time ago.”
Her swollen eyes widened, filling with fresh tears. Damn it. Why the hell did he always say the wrong shit to her?
“Maybe you’ll have better luck this time,” she whispered.
“How can you ask me to just walk away from you? I love you, Cam. I’ve missed you, mourned you. You can’t claim to love me and ask me to do that again.”
Maybe she hadn’t experienced the same hell at their separation as he had, but surely, she couldn’t want to relive it either.
Tears fell harder. Her body shook with the force. Pain streaked across her face. Rushing to her, he pulled her gently into his arms. “Don’t cry, baby. Please.”
Although not a patient man, he waited as her tears subsided. Holding her against him, he ran his hand down her spine, soothing them both. Finally, she tilted away.
“Come with me,” he pleaded.
Already shaking her head, she protested. “Ian, I told you. I won’t leave. You promised.”
“But that was before you were in danger here.”
“I’ll be fine.” She couldn’t even look at him as she lied.
“So, you’re going to the police? You’re going to have the man who did this arrested, so he can’t go do this again?”
“The police? He owns the police, Ian.”
She’d said as much before. No one had been punished for the death of Keso’s sister because Victor Roberts was the law. That explanation didn’t work for Ian. Not when the situation involved Cameron. How could he stand by and not demand the bastard pay for attacking the woman he loved? Suddenly he understood why Keso had been so hell-bent on ending the other man. Right now, Ian would gladly lead the charge.
“Go home with me,” he insisted. If nothing could be done on the island to protect Cameron from Victor Roberts’s influence, he’d take her somewhere where he could protect her.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“No.” Shifting nearer, he pushed his face closer to hers. “You’re not safe here. Come home where I can keep you safe.”
She shook her head, biting back a groan as she did.
“Damn it, Cameron. Don’t be stubborn about this. You can’t stay here like some damn sacrifice waiting for him to come back. Pack your shit and come home with me. If you won’t do it for you, do it for Arabella.”
She shoved him away. “Everything I’ve done for the past four and a half years has been for her. Don’t you dare use her against me.” Fury glowed in her battered face. “If it weren’t for her…”
“What Cam? If it weren’t for her, what?”
She hung her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’d be dead or back home.”
“So, the same choices you have now? Come home with me,” he pleaded again.
“No.” Finally losing her composure, she tried to yell, but her battered throat wouldn’t allow her voice to rise more than a whisper. “I can’t, Ian. I can’t leave her. He wants her.”
Her words, more powerful for their softness, struck at him like a fist.
“Why?” Hadn’t the man come for Cameron? Keso had said Roberts was attracted to her, that he wanted her. Why the hell would he want Arabella? “Arabella’s a child.”
“His child.”
So, this was about Keso? “Surely, they won’t punish her because of Keso. Do you really believe that?”
“Keso’s not her father.”
Ian froze. “What did you say?”
“Oh God,” she mumbled. Her shoulders sagged as if someone had just dumped the weight of the world on them. But somehow, he thought she’d already been carrying that load.
Rising from the bed, he stood over her. “Cameron, what did you say?”
“Nothing. Forget it. Go home, Ian. Leave me alone.”
“You said Keso isn’t her father.” Which had to be bullshit. The girl was his fucking mini-me. At first, Ian could hardly look at her through the green haze of envy that this beautiful child of Cameron’s was Keso’s and not his. “She looks just like him, Cam.”
Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “She looks like her mother.”
No. She talked and moved like Cameron, but her eyes, her hair they were all Keso. Studying the woman before him, he searched for any resemblance to the tiny girl who’d recently stolen his heart. Nothing.
“I’m not her mother.”
Even after Africa, he hadn’t seen Cameron so broken. As if her admission had taken all the life from her.
“Keira, Keso’s sister, is her real mother.” Sobs overtook her now, swallowing her in her own misery.
No. Fuck biology. Cameron was her mother, her real mother, for whatever that meant. No woman had ever loved a child more than Cameron loved Arabella. Hadn’t she just endured hell and was willing to do it again to save the girl?
Clutching her shoulders, he gave her a swift shake. “Tell me.”
Between sobs, she choked out, “I couldn’t save her. I delivered Ara, but Keira was so young and so small and already so hurt.” She twisted his t-shirt in her grip. “I tried Ian. I swear to God, I tried, but I couldn’t save her.”
The mother she’d lost. The first delivery after Africa. She still worried she could’ve done more.
“I delivered Ara first to make sure I could save her. Keira already loved her daughter. I couldn’t let her…”
“Shh.” Embracing her, he rocked her. She didn’t have to explain. If given the choice in Africa, she would’ve told Wes to save her baby first. Still, Ian couldn’t regret his decision. If Cameron had died, their daughter would have died with her. Then Cameron wouldn’t have been there to save Arabella when the baby needed her. They had no way of knowing how their decisions would turn out, but he couldn’t be sorry.
“You did what you had to, baby. You did what you could and what was right.” He rubbed his hands over her hair as he rocked her. “We’ll keep doing what needs to be done,” he vowed. “You, me, Keso. We’ll keep your daughter safe.”
She pulled away. “Didn’t you hear me? She’s not mine, she’s not Keso’s, she’s—”
“Stop it.” He held her away from him, so he could look her in the eyes. “She’s yours. And she’s his. I’ve never seen two people love a child more. I’ve never seen a child love her parents more. You are her mother; the only mother she knows.”
“I never had Keso’s baby.” She looked up at him with her sapphire eyes swimming in tears. “I wouldn’t . . . After what happened, I couldn’t have a child with someone else. I wouldn’t have done that to you, no matter how angry I was.” Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “But after Arabella, I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t come back to you.”
He bit his lip to keep his own tears at bay and pulled her against him again. He couldn’t hold that against her now, and he couldn’t help but love her a bit more for it. She said she wasn’t Arabella’s mother, but she’d permanently forsaken the only life she’d ever known to stay and take care of the baby. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Now they’d all do what was necessary to keep them both safe.
* * *