Is it always going to be like this?
He made it to his room and began pacing, knowing she would arrive any moment and he still needed to get ahold of this unbridled anger and jealousy that had sprung at him so hard. Too soon, she was knocking on the door.
“Cruz. What on earth is going on with you?” she demanded and stormed in, slamming the door behind her. He almost blinked at the anger she was giving back to him, so used to seeing her smile and laugh her way out of most situations.
“I’m trying to work out what the hell I just saw down there. Between you and Brad? The guy who you said you were never going back to. It looked mighty chummy to me. Are you playing a game here? Payton? Trying to lead us both on, until you’re certain which guy you really want?”
Her head whipped back slightly, almost as if he’d slapped her. “I can’t believe you just said that.” He could hear the hurt and anger in her voice. “What you saw was Brad and I saying good-bye after I spent the last hour waiting for you. I thought you were just making one or two calls? Did you forget that your family—that I—was downstairs waiting for you?”
Cruz rubbed his jawline again, trying to steady his breathing. Why the hell was he going off like some half-cocked redneck because someone looked at his woman? She was right. He wasn’t being reasonable. He breathed a deep breath in and out. “You’re right. Maybe it was something that Eastman said that still rankled. That it was only a matter of time before you realized who you’re meant to be with. And he sure as hell didn’t mean me.”
“I don’t care about what he told you. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s leaving and he’s going to be out of my life permanently.” She took a step toward him, placing her hand on his arm in reassurance and smiled. “Not only is he heading back in the next hour, he’s also taking my mother with him. It’s just going to be you and me. Alone. In a hotel room for a few more days.”
Shit. He still had to break it to her. Why he’d been up there for so long. “I’m sorry, Payton. I have a bit of bad news. I know we’d hoped to stick around here for a few more days. Just you and me…but it looks like moving the timeframe up a month has made everything a hundred times more complicated. There are building permits we need to get started on, subcontractors to hire, and I’m going to need to get back home to begin orchestrating it all. Tomorrow.”
She pulled her hand back. She looked like he’d said there would be no Christmas, the disappointment was so stark on her face.
“Hey, listen. I’ll make it up to you. I just need to get things rolling, but it won’t be forever.”
She turned away quickly, looking out at the terrace instead of him.
“So we’ll go back home, and you’ll go back to work,” she said, her voice dangerously quiet and unemotional. “Will I be able to see you for dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course. I mean, it’s going to be crazy, but I have to eat. You can come by the office. I’d love to see you there, introduce you to everyone. And we’ll get away together, soon. Just us.”
“Right. This is just temporary. When do you think things will get back to normal again? I mean this project. It’s pretty big. When do you expect to be caught up enough that you and I might have some time for each other?”
The truth was, he didn’t really know. Ideally, he’d like to hire someone to be his right hand man, someone who could help with the day-to-day scheduling, the planning and organizing. Eventually. But if he were honest, he’d worked too hard to risk someone messing it up. He’d get there eventually, but not yet.
“You’ll see, Payton. It’s going to be tough at first, but it will all be worth it. And I’ll be able to give you the kind of life you’re used to. One you deserve.”
Payton looked out at the deep almost turquoise-colored ocean that had filled her with such hope just hours earlier, and now only reminded her of how naive she really was. Thinking she could have it all.
“The only life I want is one with a man who I can share it with. Share the little moments, the joys, the sadness.” She blinked back tears. For a short moment in time, she thought she was going to have it all. She thought she was going to have someone who got her, who saw who she was and wanted only her.
“I don’t begrudge you this success, Cruz. I’m thrilled and excited for this opportunity, even if I have my own reservations about your business partner. But I was downstairs and ready to toast to that success with you, with your family who want only the best for you and would have been happy to be part of that celebration. But you never came down.”
He couldn’t take the minute to celebrate the moment with her, too focused on the big picture. Not enjoying the moment. Just as her mother has warned her. He was more like her father than she’d ever wanted to admit.
“We’ll go tell them soon. We can celebrate with them tonight. You’ll see.”
“You say that, but I know what’s going to happen, even if you don’t. Something will come up, some emergency that you can’t let anyone else handle. It has to be you. And I’ll be waiting downstairs alone. Again.”
“So what would you have me do? You want me to rip up this contact with Dick Eastman? You want me to thumb my nose at this deal, this deal that’s everything I could ever have wanted?”
All he ever could have wanted.
She turned to face him. “No, of course not.” She pinned a smile on her face. “This is what you’ve worked for. It’s just…I made a commitment to myself over the past few days. To not settle on being second best to anyone. I think that maybe, right now, you and I need some time. Some space to figure out who we are. What we want.”
She didn’t mean anything of the sort though, but it sounded really grown up and responsible. No, what she really wanted was for Cruz to crush her against him again, to say that space was the last thing they needed. That they’d figure this out and that he knew it would be hard, but he would work hard to make them a priority. That he wouldn’t let business take over his life.
To make some effort so she could believe him.
“Maybe you’re right.” His tone was different. Wooden. “You have a lot on your plate right now, a wedding to cancel, your whole future to figure out. And I have weeks and months to get this project off the ground. The last thing either of us needs is another commitment.”
His words were like ice to her heart, but she nodded, as if he made all the sense in the world, willing the tears not to spill. For him not to know her heart was breaking.
“Then maybe if it’s not too late, I might see about hitching a ride back with Brad. No sense just hanging around another day by myself. Kate’s going to be a little preoccupied.”