I didn’t fight her, allowing her to drape it over my head and twist me whatever way she wanted to for the fit. She muttered and fretted under her breath, putting in pins here and there for measurements.
I stood motionless until she nodded at me to take it off and return it to her.
“It will be ready tomorrow,” she stated firmly, draping the dress over her arm. “Others will come to help you do your hair and makeup.”
After that, Vera escorted me back to my room, still wrapped in a towel, and locked me in. I collapsed on the floor the moment she did so, glad to finally be alone so I could process what had happened today.
Oh God.
The tears started in earnest then as I lay on the floor. The same pit in my stomach where I had experienced so much pleasure earlier was replaced with something else. Something that sapped all strength from my limbs. Something that made me feel worthless. Dirty. Used.
Broken.
I sobbed loudly at how Gavril had humiliated me in front of Vera and how I had tried to stand up to him, only to fail.
Oh God.
This man would be my husband tomorrow.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
Eventually, my tears ran dry and I realized just how cold I was. I slowly got up and shuffled to the shower, turning it on until the bathroom was full of steam. The panties went into the trash, and I stepped under the multiple sprays, allowing them to assault my body and wash away Gavril’s touch.
Was I going to let him touch me tomorrow? What was I going to do if he questioned the lack of my virginity? Surely by now he had questions. I doubted that Sveta would have accepted a cock in her mouth so readily.
Sinking to the floor of the shower, I let the water beat my skin until it was red and hot to the touch. But inside, I was cold. Cold with…what? Dread? Fear? Shame? I hugged my knees to my chest and felt the tears welling in my eyes again.
***
After what felt like hours, I got myself out of the shower and threw on some comfortable clothing. Lying on the bed, I stared up at the ornate ceiling above. There was nothing I could do now unless I felt like I wanted to throw myself off the balcony and end it all.
Tomorrow I would be married to a man I didn’t know, pretending to be a woman that he thought would bring him some measure of power.
He was going to kill me when he found out the truth.
Or he’ll do something far worse than kill you…a little voice whispered in my head.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to close my eyes, to rest while I still could. Tomorrow would take all my strength, every bit I had to get through it. Plus, I had to make sure that I kept up my ruse and did not slip up again.
Because if I did slip up, it could be my life.
I slept fitfully. As the sun started to lighten the sky, I found myself up and rifling through the clothing, trying to find the right undergarments to wear with my wedding dress.
I felt like I was about to be led to my execution.
Vera came with my breakfast shortly after, finding me already bundled in a robe, freshly bathed. “Eat,” she commanded, placing the tray on the bed. “The hairdresser will be here soon.”
No words about yesterday. No words about my slipup, if she even noticed that particular moment. Maybe she thought that I knew some broken English and wasn’t concerned about it.
Instead of being excited about my breakfast, I was too nervous to eat it, and the coffee tasted bitter on my tongue. After the wedding, would we come back to this room, or go to another mansion that Gavril owned?
Would I call him Gavril even after what he had done? Right now, master seemed more appropriate since he was about to own every part of me.
A burst of laughter escaped me. Not every part. The signature I would put on the papers today would be Sveta’s signature, not mine. In the event that he found out, we wouldn’t be married.
Not legally.
He would have no control.
Until he holds you down in your bed, the damn voice purred. Spreads that aching pussy of yours and pushes that big, thick cock deep inside—
“Shut up!” I squeezed my eyes shut.
The door opened once more, and I watched as Vera and an army of women stepped through, their hands full of boxes and the wedding dress I had picked out.
My time had come.
Vera pointed to the chair before the mirrored vanity in the bathroom and I wearily sat before it, allowing a woman to look at my tresses, clucking her tongue as she did so. When she pulled out her shears, I shook my head, stopping her.
“I don’t want it cut.” I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time, only trimming the ends so that it would be the perfect length for my actress auditions.
Vera pursed her lips but nodded and the woman sighed, picking up the ends and trimming them instead. I met Vera’s eyes through the mirror and gave her a faint smile in return, glad that she had given me this boon for now.
For an hour I was primped and preened, my hair styled in a manner that was going to be the perfect style for the dress I was wearing. My makeup was lighter than I thought it would be, and the sweep of the red lip almost made me smile, catching myself at the last moment to keep from showing any sort of happiness today.
I wasn’t a bride.
I was a piece of meat being led to market.
Yet every single of these people thought that I was going to enjoy my wedding day.
I hated it. My stomach churned suddenly, and I was glad that I hadn’t eaten anything because I might not be able to keep it down.
After my hair and makeup were done, Vera waved them all away, meeting my gaze in the mirror once more.
“You will be happy today,” she stated, crossing her arms over her chest. “You will smile and laugh and pretend that this is everything you’ve ever wanted. And after the guests have all left, you will return and give yourself to him. No fighting. No resisting. Let him have what he wants.”
“Of course,” I answered bitterly, meeting her gaze. “What choice do I have?”
Vera’s expression didn’t change. “None, but that is how you will stay alive.”
She walked off, and I kept the tears at bay.
No one was on my side.
No one at all.