“Elle,” I say. “You’re not helping.”
“Seriously, Katti. What you guys have is what I want. The fact that you’re letting fear stand in the way of this is not okay.”
“You make it sound like it’s so simple.”
She grabs the ice cream back out of the freezer and starts scooping it into the bowls for the both of us. “That’s because it is simple.”
“It’s not,” I insist. “I can’t just undo more than thirty years of friendship between him and my dad over nothing. And I can’t change the fact that my dad will never get over Bryce’ betrayal if he finds out. He’ll hate all of it. And then he’ll hate me.”
Elle points at me “There it is. That’s what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid that your dad is going to disown you over this?”
“Of course I am! How else should I feel?”
She shrugs, and gets spoons out of the drawer before passing me a giant bowl of vanilla, chocolate, and mint ice cream. “I don’t know, maybe you should feel like your father loves you enough to respect your choices. And is smart enough to recognize when two people genuinely love each other and aren’t just fucking for fun.” She lets those words hang in the air for a moment. “You don’t think your dad will get it? You don’t think he’s been in love before? I think he’ll understand. Sure, it’s a little unconventional. It might even make him uncomfortable for a while, but after seeing you together…I don’t think there’s any way he could deny that you guys are amazing together.”
“You’ve never met my dad, Elle. I don’t think it’s going to be that way. He’s old-fashioned, and traditional. It’s not going to fly.”
She drags me out of the chair, and into the living room where she flops on the couch across from me, and digs into the ice cream. “Okay, so let’s play out a hypothetical situation.”
“That’s not what we’re already doing?”
She rolls her eyes. “Stay with me. What’s the worst thing that would happen?”
I think about it, but there are too many possibilities, and just shrug.
“No, come on,” She says. “Try to think. Right now. If this happened, what is the absolute worst thing that would happen?”
“So many bad things could happen,” I say. “They could call Bryce a monster or a predator for wanting to be with me because I’m half his age. They could be so angry that they never speak to him again. They could be so angry that they never speak to me again. What if Marcy suddenly decides that her brother is a bad person for doing this, and he never gets his to see his niece because of me?”
Elle shakes her head. “You don’t know if any of those things will happen.”
“No,” I say. “I don’t. But if they do, it will be bad.” I take a bite of ice cream while Elle studies me.
She seems to be thinking about something, and I wait, because I know she’ll get to it eventually. Finally, she says, “You’re not going to agree, but I think you’re making too big of a deal out of this. Bryce isn’t a bad person. You know that, and I know that. Your families both know that, too. And whether or not Bryce knew you before you were eighteen has nothing to do with your relationship now.
“You’re both adults. You can choose what you want, and the rest of everybody can fuck off. As for all the things that might happen, why are you the one that gets to make the decision?”
I don’t meet her eyes, mixing some of the mint and chocolate ice cream together. “What do you mean?”
“You and Bryce were in a relationship, right? Did he agree that the risks were too big?”
“No,” I shake my head. “He said that he didn’t care.”
“Then why did you walk away?”
“Because he doesn’t realize how bad it will be. He doesn’t know what it will be like when he loses the most important relationships in his life because of me.”
Elle gives me a look like I’m being utterly stupid. “But that’s his choice to make. It’s your choice to make together as a couple, but you didn’t let him. You made it for him. Did you ever consider that maybe you’re the most important relationship in his life?”
That’s not possible. A one-week relationship doesn’t come above a thirty-year friendship. That’s just not the way it works. “He’ll see that I’m right in the end,” I say.
Elle rolls her eyes again, harder this time so that I know she’s not pleased. “I’m sure that you both will get a great deal of satisfaction out of you being right. Ten years from now, when you’re both miserable because you’re not together, I’m sure that will be the thing that keeps you warm.”