Later, after I had fucked her so thoroughly that her voice was hoarse from crying out my name, she lay against my chest, my fingers tangled in the mess of her hair. And as much as I feared admitting it, this felt right. Naomi at my side felt right, like I had something more to my life, to my future than just being the Bratva’s Pakhan.
But as the tender feelings rested deep down in my soul, my mother’s words came back to haunt me. She wasn’t wrong either. I wasn’t being cold and calculating like I was supposed to be. I was indulging in feelings that I didn’t know still existed.
I felt like I was two different people.
Naomi mumbled something in her sleep, and I pulled her tighter against me, not giving a shit right now if she thought me weak and soft. In stolen moments like this, I could let my guard down, pretend that there wasn’t a fucking world out there waiting to destroy us.
Come the morning, things were going to have to be different, however. I just hoped that Naomi could understand that.
But as I drifted to sleep, I thought about losing her and everything we had built.
And that thought terrified me.