Broken Bride (Belaya Bratva 2)

I couldn’t help but hurt for him. He had only been eighteen then! Practically a child!

“I was able to move out of the way in time,” he said, his voice wooden. “Her knife plunged into the very bed we had shared. The same bed where she told me I was her pakhan. The same bed where I told her I loved her. The same bed where she said she loved me.”

His fist clenched. “Every word of it a lie. Just a way for her to get closer and closer.”

His anger started to bleed through his words, but I held onto him, allowing him to give me that pain. While he had ruined my life, forced me into marriage, and gotten me pregnant, I could never kill him. I could never imagine the anger, the rage she would have had to feel toward him, the very man who had told her he loved her.

It was unfathomable.

“She fought back,” he continued, his voice soft as his arm tightened around me. “God, did she fight back. But it didn’t matter in the end. I killed her in that same bed. Choked the life out of her.”

I was at a loss for words. He had been betrayed in the worst way possible. His hands, the very hands that had brought me so much pleasure, had killed a woman he loved.

“I still see her in my nightmares from time to time,” Gavril finished, his voice barely above a whisper. “Those blue eyes of hers that remained defiant to the end as I ended her life. She haunts me, Naomi, mind, body, and soul.”

My heart was crushed at his words, and I pulled away, only to look into his tortured eyes. I wasn’t looking at the powerful pakhan that I was afraid of. I was looking at a broken man who would never get over the loss of his first and only love, the very love that had ruined him in the end. Gripping his chin, I forced him to look at me.

“You saved your life,” I told him, my words sounding stronger than I felt they were. “You survived, Gavril. Katya never gave you everything.” Not like I had. I had given him my body, my heart, and my soul. Now, knowing his loss and grief, I realized that he could never give me those things in return.

As much as I would have wanted for him to do so, we were both too broken to ever trust anyone again.

He pressed his forehead to mine, blowing out a breath. “This is all fucked up. I’m fucked up.”

“No, you’re not,” I choked out, tears crowding my eyes. I wanted Gavril to feel like he could let down his guard around me, like I wouldn’t ever hurt him in the way that Katya had. What she had done was evil, taking his trust and tearing him apart in the end.

“What Jon did to you,” he said after a moment, his warm breath on my skin. “It was fucking wrong, and he will pay for it, Naomi. I swear to you that he will suffer.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that Katya is dead,” I added. “Because I would have killed her for hurting you.”

It was the truth. No matter what Gavril did to me, I felt the need to protect him as well.

He huffed a laugh. “I think I would like to have seen that fight between the two of you.”

I pulled back, rolling my eyes. “Such a typical male answer.”

Some of the darkness was gone from Gavril’s face, and in its place was the man who had entertained the girls the day before. It tore my heart in two to see him like this and know it wasn’t permanent. Not only that, but I now knew that once upon a time in his life he had shared everything with a woman that he had loved. He had made memories with her, making her the center of his life, and I could never live up to that.

Did I want to? Just a few days ago I had been contemplating leaving, but now, I just, I couldn’t do it. I loved this man. I truly did.

“What are you thinking, Naomi?” he asked softly, his eyes searching mine. “What is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

There was no way I could tell him my thoughts. But I was curious as to what sort of man Gavril would be without his Bratva. If he was willing to just disappear right now, I would be highly interested in doing so. There was so much hurt, so much pain between us, but also inside, and while his demons were just in nightmares, mine was real. At any point, Jon could return, and Gavril couldn’t guard me every second of the day.

Jon was famous for catching me when my guard was down.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

Swallowing, I looped my arms around his neck, my fingers touching his soft hair. “Has there ever been a time you wanted to just walk away from it all?”

His brow furrowed, and he swallowed. “Only once,” he finally said. “With Katya. I would have walked away from my family legacy for her.”

Of course he would have.

And in that moment, I hated the dead woman for ruining him. Because of her, I would never get him in any capacity other than the ruthless pakhan.

“And now with you.”

My breath caught. “Really?”

He nodded, his hand resting between us, centered on my stomach. “A thought, nothing more.”

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I reached up to wipe it away. He would never love me as he had Katya.

But could he love me in some other twisted version of love?

Could we ever be happy?