“This is a fantasy, you know. Beach vacations, luxury resorts, a big house with a zillion bathrooms. This isn’t reality for me. But somehow now it is reality and I can’t really wrap my head around it.”
I felt relieved it wasn’t more than that. “I understand. I’m just a guy from the bayou. I’m grateful for everything I have and yes, sometimes it still feels weird to not have to worry about money.”
“I feel like the struggle to survive is part of my identity.” Sera ran her fingers across the soapstone countertop of the bathroom vanity. “I’ve never known anything differently. I’ve never imagined that some day financial fear would just be lifted off of my shoulders in one fell swoop and while it’s amazing, I don’t know what to do with it all emotionally.”
“We’ll just take it one day at a time.”
“I always thought I would rescue myself, you know? That I would fix the mess that John had left me with. It feels like I’ve failed, somehow, that you’re saving me.”
I had no idea what to say to that because I completely disagreed with her. “You kept your family afloat in spite of a hell of a lot of hurdles. You haven’t failed at anything. I’m not saving you. We’re partners.”
“What am I supposed to do with myself now?” she asked.
It felt like a question I couldn’t answer. That was for her to figure out. “You can do whatever you want.” I hadn’t envisioned today playing out like this. I had thought we’d be having sex and enjoying each others’ company. Making plans for the future. Eating lunch.
I didn’t know how to reassure her that she still would be doing the heavy lifting of raising children. An even bigger responsibility than before because she was adding another child to her life. Somehow I didn’t think she’d find that reassuring or maybe not exactly what she was saying. I felt like my wisest course of action was to listen and let her tell me how she was feeling with a few carefully placed, “I understand,” comments dropped along the way.
“You don’t think I did this on purpose, do you?”
“Did what?” I asked blankly.
“Got pregnant. So you’d have to rescue me.”
The thought had never once occurred to me. “I’m not sure how you could have done this on purpose considering it was a busted condom that I took out of the wrapper. I know you didn’t do this on purpose.”
She nodded. “I just needed to make sure you didn’t think that.”
“I don’t at all.” I brushed her hair back off of her face. “You’re not the only one benefiting, you know. You’re rescuing me too, from a lonely and boring bachelor life.”
Sera finally lightened up. She looked amused. “I’m sure it was torture for you being rich and single.”
“I really was lonely. I’m a relationship kind of guy. I love that we’re having a baby. I love that I’m getting stepchildren out of this deal. You’re not the only one leveling up.”
“I almost feel guilty taking you off the market. There is some gorgeous young woman out there who was meant for you who doesn’t even know what she’s missed out on. I stole her future.”
Whether she was joking or serious, it made me angry.
“Don’t ever say that,” I said. “I don’t want you saying anything about other women being better for me than you.”
Sera tilted her head. She studied me. Suddenly she got a look that I recognized as Sera digging her heels in. “I want you to fire your housekeeper. There is no way in hell I am letting another woman into this house who is under the age of forty.”
“You’re jealous of my cleaning ladies?” The thought had never occurred to me. “How do you even know what my cleaning ladies look like?”
“I didn’t. But now I know they’re young.” Sera looked triumphant at the fact that I allegedly had confirmed I had hot cleaning women.
“Wow.” I shook my head. “You could have just asked me or said you want to hire your own housekeeper.” I felt like she was trying to fight with me and I didn’t understand why.
“Are your cleaning women young and hot?”
“Maybe? I’m not really sure, I’ve never thought much about it. Their names are Dora and Nelsie and they’re twins.” When her jaw dropped I said, “They’re probably in their thirties, I don’t know. They’re both married.”
“Are you serious? I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not.”
“I’m not joking. They get my sinks really clean.” It didn’t exactly sound innocent, but it was. I would feel guilty letting them go, but I would if that’s what Sera wanted. Maybe I could refer them to Mac. He had no one in his life to object.
“They are thirty-something twins and you don’t know if they’re hot or not?”
“They’re married. I’ve never thought about it. But I will let them go if that’s what you want.”
“Yes. That’s what I want. Of course that’s what I want.”
“I understand.” Though I wasn’t sure I did. In one breath, she was suggesting that there was another woman out there who should be my real partner, but then in the next she was jealous of my cleaning ladies? I didn’t really get it. I was just going to roll with it.
“You’re really upsetting me right now,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
“I understand.” I wasn’t going to fight with her when I didn’t even know what she was actually upset about.
“I want all new bedding in this bedroom.”
That was out of left field. “Okay. I understand.”
To my surprise she dropped her hands and gave me a smile. “You’re impossible to fight with, do you know that?”
I was relieved that whatever the hell that had been it appeared to be over. “I imagine my siblings would disagree.”
She took a step toward me and linked her fingers through mine. “How did I get so lucky?” she murmured.
“I’m the lucky one.” I tugged her toward the bed. What was going to be our bed. “Now come here.”
“What are you doing?”