ChapterSeven
Amelia
What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve turned into a little hussy. When did I start letting men just have their way with me? I don’t even understand it. I fight not to wiggle in my seat because my wet panties are sticking to me. I can still feel his touch between my thighs, and my body is craving more.
“Have you found a dress yet?” Felipe’s mom, Cora, asks me from across the table. She seems quite lovely, and his father is nice as well, but for some reason, there is this weird tension I’m sensing between his parents. It’s strange and gives me an uneasy feeling.
“We’re going to look at a few tomorrow,” I respond. I should be excited, but I’m not, and I hate that. This isn’t what I thought my wedding would be.
I don’t have to glance Felipe’s way to know he’s staring a hole into me. He’s been doing it since we sat down at the table, and I know everyone else has to notice it too. It’s not like he’s across the table from me. Nope, he’s right beside me and has to tilt his head to look at me. I hope he ends up with a crick in his neck tomorrow.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wear mine?” Mom asks. She’s sitting with Dad at the other end of the table. “You always said you wanted to wear it.” Her brows furrow together, and I can tell she’s trying to hide her hurt.
Crap. I always wanted to wear it. The dress only needs a few small changes to make it more mine. But that idea was tucked away with all those other silly naïve dreams I had about my future.
“That dress is special. Maybe I could save it for my daughter.” I wince as soon as the words leave my lips. This time I can’t stop myself from glancing up at Felipe.
“What if we only have boys?” He smirks.
“Because you only want boys?” Keep your manners, Amelia, I remind myself. I will not allow myself to act like a fool in front of Felipe’s parents. That last thing I need is a mother-in-law that hates me.
“I’ll take whatever you give me, love.” He winks. “I just don’t want you to miss wearing your mother’s dress if it means something to the family. Both you and our daughter could wear it,” he says so smoothly.
“Aww.” My mom sighs, and the furrow leaves her brows. Now she’s beaming at Felipe, and I want to roll my eyes. He really can seduce anyone. I hate him, and I also don’t buy what he’s selling. We won’t be having children, and I need to figure out how to get on birth control as soon as possible. For all I know, he already has children out there. My stomach turns at the thought.
“What time is your appointment tomorrow? Maybe I’ll come,” Felipe says.
“What? You can’t come.”
“Why?” He lifts his wine glass and takes a sip.
“It’s bad luck.” Plus, I can’t be around him. Not until I figure out what’s going on with my body.
“Worried about our marriage already? I promise to keep you happy.”
My mom makes other aww sounds. He’s really laying it on thick. As irritated as I am, I still find myself wanting to lean over into him because my body screams for me to do something about this ache.
I focus my attention on my plate and push my food around to make it look like I’ve eaten something. I don’t really have an appetite at the moment. Not for food at least. My mind bounces between what happened last night at the Monarch event and then with Felipe this afternoon. Some little door inside of me has been opened, and all my desires are trying to come out. I need to get the door closed and locked before I do something I can’t take back.
I already have this strange guilt pulling at my conscience. Last night after I got home and into bed, I’d felt bad for what I’d done knowing I was promised to another. Even though that had been the whole point of my plan. Now, after Felipe got his hands on me, I’ve come back down to reality as another string of guilt tugs at my heart. This time it’s for my mystery man from last night, as if now I’ve gone and betrayed him too. It’s all around ridiculous.
Everyone else falls into easy conversation, and my eyes bounce between my parents and his. I finally put together what is so off with Felipe’s parents. They don’t seem to care for each other. They barely glance at one another or have a conversation between the two of them. My heart aches at the sight because this is what I’m afraid of.
Is this my future?
“Are you okay?” Felipe whispers from beside me. I shake my head no because I’m so far from okay right now. Panic starts to rise in my chest, and although I haven’t had a panic attack in years, it feels like one is starting to bubble up.
“Everything will be okay, Amelia,” he tries to reassure me, then grabs my hand under the table to give it a squeeze. I don’t know how or why, but the pressure starts to ease with his touch, and I let out a breath. “It’s going to be okay. I promise you,” he says again.
“But it won’t,” I whisper back. “I don’t think that I can—”
“Don’t,” he snaps, cutting me off, and everyone else stops talking to glance our way.
I force a smile onto my face so that no one notices what’s happening.
“Everything okay?” my father asks.
“How could it not be? Amelia has agreed to be my wife. Everything will always be okay,” Felipe says as he gives my hand another squeeze.
“Has he always been such a charmer?” Mom asks, shaking her head with a smile.
I pull my hand out from Felipe’s and hear him sigh.
“Always,” Cora laughs.