Tilly
Five Years Later
Ijerkedfrommy sleep as I slapped my hand on my mobile to stop the shrilling from my alarm. Tears laced my eyes as they did every morning. Watching him die was as painful today as it was the day it happened. His death was violent, sudden, and unforeseen. But this was my new normal, seeing my father die in the same vivid dream, like I was watching it as a rerun on the CCTV.
Kicking the sheets to untangle myself and I pushed myself off my bed, grasping at the table when I tripped on the pillows on the floor. I ignored the shower and strolled to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. It was the same every morning.
Because watching him leave this world, seeing his life extinguished, and it should have been the most cruel thing I’d ever experienced—but it wasn’t.
It was learning the truth at the end of his life of whom he really was and what he planned.
And it was recalling my sister’s pleas, before being taken away and knowing that my mother disappeared that day too. It was hard to comprehend. But knowing my mother and sister could still be alive, and nobody was searching for them, that was too much for me to accept. That and the reality of not knowing if I they were alive or dead.
I sighed and switched on the coffee machine before strolling to the window, leaning against the sill, and glancing at the road. There wasn’t much to look at, but it suited me perfectly.
I was lucky when I got this apartment, because the former tenants had broken their lease and the owner dropped the rent to get someone else in quickly. And it was a lovely apartment and, better still, only a ten-minute tube ride to the office.
The apartment boasted two bedrooms, two bathrooms, one being off the master bedroom, which was a bonus. There were no fancy views, only of the busy street. But the area was safe. The second bedroom was the place where I made the product to hide myself. I could never show the world who I was—not now. And with my mother’s skills and my perseverance, I hid my designation from hungry alphas for five years.
Alphas that hunted for mates.
Alphas that would tear others limb to limb once they smell our perfume.
For omegas were normally bound to their alphas soon after their first heat cycle. I had that cycle and then took my mother’s creation.
A suppressant.
Not just any suppressant. This one that temporarily changed my perfume, my scent. I became a beta, or as close to an average beta as my biology would allow. Average because betas were the predominant population, though not the strongest... alphas took that spot.
Betas were unnoticed.
Betas were unwanted.
And I loved it.
Though, it wasn’t ideal because alphas had ways and means of finding our perfumes, so I knew it could change at anytime. I was constantly trying to make the product better, and hopefully longer term, because I was always an omega and always needed to hide. It was enough while I worked on it. Worked on the medication becoming more long term and not just the few hours it lasted. Because I didn’t want to be claimed by an alpha or a pack. I wanted to live my life my way. I’d seen mum struggle with her designation. Her and my sister... well, I’d never seen or heard from them again.
And I knew it was because they were omegas.
For now, I was safe. I remained hidden in that room behind my wall for five days, my body shaking from the fear of seeing my father dead in a chair. And because of my fear of the person who killed him was still waiting for me to appear.
I didn’t come out when the police showed up at the house.
I remained hidden.
I couldn’t. One policeman looked in the camera, his pale grey eyes looking back at me and again I became frozen to the spot.
And all I could smell was alpha pheromones as they checked my room for hints of what happened that night.
I stayed hidden until I found the strength and called my cousin Blair and she helped me to escape.
And still today, I remained hidden. Although now it was in plain sight. Happy that the medication allowed me to stay safe, making those around me think I was a beta.
Only Blair and my grandmother knew what I truly was and as they were omegas, I knew that the secret remained safe with them. Because we all wondered where my mother and sister were. Taken away by alphas.
Monsters, that’s all they were.
The coffee machine finished taking me out of my reverie, but it was the same as every morning. I dreamed the same dream and contemplated my life, but I felt blessed with what my mother gave me, a life of normality, even if it meant I had to take suppressants for the rest of my life.
I inhaled the smell of caffeine oozing through the air and, after pouring in a dollop of cream; I strolled back to the window with my steaming mug and sat on the ledge, watching the drizzle hit the ground in small puddles.
I skipped breakfast, my usual routine. I preferred to stand at my easel and draw. It was also because I struggled to hold food down for the first couple of hours I was awake.
There was something about a coffee and drawing that became my religion. It was time I could consider my life and kept myself on track, and yes, it would be healthier to turn my routine into meditation, but I wasn’t ready for that.
The easel held my newest abstract painting that I was working on—inky clouds over the palest blue sky.
It was my life, trying to make something of the darkness that covered my heart, and painting soothed my soul. It helped me to think.
Taking my brushes and mixing black oil paint with white and added brush strokes to the clouds. Before I remembered we had an important work meeting at eight thirty this morning and I had to get to work half an hour earlier before the boss made a big announcement.
I gulped the last of the milky coffee down my throat and rushed to my bedroom, brushed my teeth and turned on the shower. Stripping out of my animated kitten pyjamas, and jumped into the soothing stream of water.
Luckily, today wasn’t a wash my hair day, just a quick scrub with a nice neutral scented body wash. Lots of omegas found different ways to mask their scent. This body wash wasn’t really that helpful. It was a marketing ploy, and I bought into it. Which was ridiculous since I worked in marketing and understood the sales method. I even tried not to take my suppressants for a few days, but even I could smell my perfume. But it had been that long since I’d smelled it, that I realised taking the suppressants was much more reliable than anything I could buy off the shelf.
I called in sick when that day happened. My boss was an alpha, though he was bonded with an omega, and I trusted the old guy implicitly. But all I knew was, as an unbonded omega, my perfume was like an aphrodisiac to an alpha, potentially sending an unbonded one into a frenzy that wouldn’t bode well for me.
My cousin Blair had a similar experience, and it was nearly disastrous for her.
For that reason now my medication was the only thing I relied on, that and a de-scenting spray come deodorant, developed also by my mother. But I would still use this body wash, at least until it ran out.
I stared at my reflection for a moment, wondering where my mother and sister were.
Were they dead?
Holed up with their kidnappers, or had they sold them?
Exhaling deeply as I brushed through my long brunette hair and pulled it into a high ponytail. After coating my eyelashes with two coats of mascara and my lips with my neutralising lipstick in a delicate pale pink. I dragged a thong over my hips and a matching bra over my average pair of boobs, wriggling my bra pads, that had my extra medication hidden inside, into the sides.
An extra precaution—just in case.
I walked to my wardrobe and pulled out a pair of rust red wide legged trousers and a matching fitted, wide strapped top. Once dressed, I pushed my feet into black stiletto shoes and shrugged a black waist length long-sleeved jacket over the top. I’d noted the exquisite dress sense of my female alpha boss and now dressed like an alpha, sometimes like a beta. Anything at all to help me be the designation I wanted to be and not that one I was born to be.
Flashing my watch in front of my face, checking the time again—I was running late. I grabbed my purse and keys and left my apartment, ready for the quick commute to work. Made one last check of the contents of my bag, ensuring I had my medication on me at all times. I kept spares at home, but carried most on me, just in case I got caught somewhere.
Fear of being caught short in an alpha world was real.
Because the worst thing about the night that changed my life was knowing they held nobody accountable for what happened—the gang was still free and my reason for keeping up the charade of being a beta, hiding my true self.
They were looking for me, too.
Nan told me to never let down my guard, to keep myself hidden from the wolves, otherwise one day they would find me.
But that was five years ago, but she also told me omegas were too rare to give up on, especially unbonded omegas.
And that was something I was planning on staying forever.