“I’m sorry. Of course you wouldn’t leave me. I guess I just… got scared.”
Where the hell did this insecurity come from? It was so unlike the old Jessie, at least the girl he’d known. She was ballsy and brave. Perhaps her brother’s death had done more damage than he’d realized, that or the years since he’d seen her last had scarred her in some way. She’d obviously left Seattle with not much more than the clothes on her back. At some point he was going to have to draw that out of her, but now was not the time. Now she just needed to feel safe. And that was something he’d always been good at with her. He’d always been able to make her feel safe when she was a kid.
“Come here.”
She hesitated only a moment before she walked to him. He pulled her roughly into his arms, holding her close. He dipped his head to her ear.
“Not goin’ anywhere without you, brat. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Lightning flashed and a crack of thunder boomed. He felt her shiver and pulled her closer, remembering how she’d always hated storms as a child. Remembering one storm in particular when she was just a kid, and he’d come home from school that afternoon before either of their parents were home and found her hiding in her closet, shaking and looking terrified. He’d pulled her out and sat on the couch, holding her close, murmuring to her that he was with her and it would be okay. When that hadn’t worked, he’d distracted her with stupid knock-knock jokes until he’d had her giggling, completely forgetting the storm that had raged outside.
He saw a glimmer of that scared little girl in her eyes now.
“It’s just a storm, sweetheart. We’re safe here. Safe and dry.” His hands rubbed up and down her back.
He pulled her down, leaning back against the wall near the door. He kept it cracked open a couple inches so he could breath easier and not get that ‘closed in’ panicky feeling.
He held her close, cuddled against his side. Her arm naturally lay across his stomach, holding him tight. With one hand he stroked her head, and soon his fingers began to play with her hair.
“Ghost?” she whispered.
“Hmm.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, brat.”
“When you moved out of your dad’s house—was it because of me?”
He was quiet for a moment, not sure just how much to admit. Finally, he blew out a breath. “Partly.”
“Because of the kiss.”
The kiss. Their one and only. He’d kissed hundreds of women since then, but still that one kiss he’d shared with her stuck in his memory like no other. “Yes and no.”
Her head lifted off his shoulder, and she met his eyes, hers frowning. “What do you mean?”
“Because of the kiss, but mostly because you were growing up and…”
“And what?”
“And I was starting to think about you in a way I shouldn’t think about you.”
She grinned. “You wanted to fuck me, didn’t you?” Blunt and to the point, that was Jess.
“Watch your mouth, brat.”
“But its true, right?”
“Yeah. I wanted to fuck you. That what you wanted to hear?”
“Yep.”
“Wasn’t gonna happen. No way in hell. So I did what I had to do. I left.”
“And now?”