Shades eyes moved over the crowd, searching for Skylar, wondering why she wasn’t seated beside her man. And then he spotted her, standing by herself at the back of the crowd. She looked lovely in a pretty little black dress, demure and to the knee, but sleeveless. Her dark hair pulled up in a bun that emphasized her slender neck. To Shades, she’d never looked lovelier, except for the sad expression on her face. Why the hell wasn’t she up there with the family? Christ, Letty and Skylar were more than best friends, they were practically sisters. She should have been up there in the front row with the rest of them.
Once the service started, Shades skirted around the edge of the crowd and made his way over to stand beside Skylar. She looked up at him with surprise and maybe a trace of fear. He supposed he could understand her being afraid of him. Maybe she should be. After all, she’d stolen quite a little sum of money from him. But not today. Today, the last thing he wanted was for her to be afraid.
“Sorry about Letty.”
Skylar nodded. Her eyes flitted over him and returned to the minister. He watched as she sucked her lips in.
“Am I makin’ you nervous, Sky?” He asked softly and watched her chin come up a fraction.
“Not at all,” she whispered back.
He turned from her to look at the minister, but not really hearing a word the man said. Finally, he couldn’t help remarking, “You should be up there. In the front row. You two were like sisters.” When she didn’t answer he turned his head to look at her, and he felt a fist tighten around his heart as he watched a tear slide down her cheek. Reaching up, he brushed at it with the back of his index finger. “Baby-”
“Don’t, Shades. Please. Not here. Not now,” she pleaded softly, her head moving back slightly.
He gritted his teeth and nodded. A moment later he walked away, returning to stand with his brothers.
After the minister said his final words over the gravesite, the mourners began to disperse, some stopping by to give Crash their personal condolences.
Cole, Angel, Mack and Butcher hung back, waiting patiently until the mourners had all trickled off. Shades and several more of his brothers stood off by the paved drive, giving them space, but still within earshot of their Chapter President.
Shades bent his head to light a cigarette and looked over at where Crash and Ace stood alone, saying their own final goodbyes to the women they both loved. Shoving his lighter in his hip pocket, Shades blew a stream of smoke out and watched as Skylar walked up to the graves. She stood next to Crash, her hand sliding over to clutch his. He looked over at her and squeezed her hand in return, trying to offer her a smile, but his heart obviously wasn’t in it.
Shades heard Butcher offer in a low voice, his eyes on Crash, “Maybe it’d do him good to stay in town a while. We’d be glad to give him a spot at the table.”
Damn, Shades hadn’t seen that coming. His eyes moved from Butcher to Crash and Skylar, and he felt his heart catch. If Crash stayed, Skylar would stay. Before he had time to digest the ramifications, he heard Cole respond to the offer.
“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what the right move is for him.” He shrugged. “Might be too many memories lurking around every corner here.”
Shades turned his attention to where Cole, Butcher and Mack stood, knowing Crash’s Chapter President was going to have to sign off on anything that big. Mack looked at Butcher.
“If you want to make him the offer, I’m good with it. Whatever he needs right now, whatever he wants, I’ll back it.”
Butcher nodded.
“Damn, brother, you hear that?” Ghost whispered to Shades. “Butcher brings him to the table, you might have some competition for that VP spot you want so badly.”
Shades took a hit off his cigarette. “If he stays, that is. He’s been gone ten fucking years.”
Griz nodded toward the fresh graves. “Yeah, and the last two reasons he had for coming back just got planted in the ground.”
Ghost shrugged. “Just sayin’. Grief and guilt about being gone, who knows where his head’s at.”
“If he stays or goes. Don’t mean shit to me,” Shades growled. Ghost and Griz exchanged a look that told him they didn’t buy his words for a second. He shoved one hand in his pocket, his eyes returning to Skylar, and he wondered if this was good news or bad. Part of him wanted nothing more than to have Skylar here, back home where she belonged. The way she’d run years ago, it had never set well with him. He wanted a chance to mend things between them.
On the other hand, he wasn’t sure if he wanted another brother at the table who could possibly get in his way. And if he was being honest, he sure as hell wasn’t sure he could stand to watch Skylar with Crash. It had gutted him when he found out she was the ol’ lady of a brother. She couldn’t get any more off-limits than that. How the hell was he supposed to stomach seeing them together? Shades knew one thing about himself. He knew his limits. He hadn’t been able to keep his distance from her when he was a prospect ordered to stay away from her. He didn’t think for one fucking minute that he was going to be any better at keeping his distance now.
And one thing he knew for certain, if he ever did decide to make a play for her, he wouldn’t care what or who stood in his way. Dropping his cigarette to the ground, he crushed it under his boot.
“I’ll be at the bikes,” he muttered to Ghost and Griz as he stalked away.
****
Skylar looked down at the freshly turned graves covered in flowers, and she felt her heart breaking. Letty had been the best friend she’d ever had, and Mama Rose had been like a grandmother to her. The grandmother she’d never had.
It was so unfair. Life was so unfair. Mama Rose was the sweetest woman she’d ever known, and Letty had been in such a good place in her life. Her shop was taking off and doing so well. And she’d finally found a good man to love, one who loved her back.
Skylar glanced over at Ace. He seemed broken, lost, devastated and her heart bled for him. But it was Crash who really concerned her. Through the entire service, she’d watched him sitting in that front row, his leg shaking a mile a minute, and she knew he was holding on by a thread. He’d had so much loss in his life. His mother, his grandfather, his brother. And now Mama Rose and Letty. No one should have to endure that much.