Over the next couple of weeks they fell into a rhythm with either Natalie or Cole staying with TJ while the other went with Angel to the hospital. Cole recovered fully and was able to pitch in and help more. It was going to be a long time before it was safe for TJ to be around his sister. The risk of infection was just too great to take any chances.
Cole enjoyed the time he got to spend with his son. It gave them the opportunity to get to know each other and to bond. Even so, Cole realized that no matter how much time they had together, for as long as Cole could manage to stay, it was never going to make up for the time he’d already missed out on or the time in the future that they would be apart.
Cole sat on the front porch step and watched TJ ride a tricycle around the driveway. Cole thought about what kind of relationship he wanted with his children. Coming out for visits, how was that going to work? Did that mean he would only get to see them for a few days every couple of months, if that much? He knew what would happen. No matter how diligent he was every few months would soon become twice a year. He’d end up being a stranger to his own children. That wasn’t what he wanted.
So, what did he want?
He wanted Angel. He wanted them to be together, like a real family. Who was he kidding? They’d never be a normal family. Ozzie and Harriet. The Waltons. The Cleavers. That Hollywood ideal. But then, what was normal, and who had that perfect picture? He didn’t need perfect. Hell, he’d settle for living in the same town. No. That was a lie. He wanted Angel in the same house, in the same bed. He wasn’t going to be happy with anything less. That left only one option. He had to divorce Mandy quickly and make things right with Angel.
Would she even want him? What did he have to offer her? He was still that same guy that knew he was no good for her three years ago. What did he think was different now?
Everything, he told himself.
Kids do that. They change everything. He wanted more now, and deep down he wanted to believe he deserved more. He could be a better man for Angel, for his kids. Couldn’t he? If he didn’t believe it himself, how was he ever going to make it happen?
It was getting to be dinnertime. Cole had made them both hotdogs for lunch. He needed to figure something out for dinner.
“Hey, TJ. Come on. You need to help Daddy make dinner.”
TJ stopped pedaling and looked at his father. He scrambled off the bike and ran to him.
Cole scooped him up and tossed him in the air. TJ squealed, and Cole hoisted him up on his shoulders and carried him into the house. He set him down on the kitchen floor and pulled open the refrigerator. He stood staring into it, one hand on his hip.
TJ stood next to him, his little hand on his hip, mimicking his father.
There was ground beef. Maybe he could whip up some pasta. He looked in the pantry and found a can of sauce and a box of spaghetti. He rummaged through the spices and pulled out some oregano and garlic powder. It wouldn’t be great, but it would be edible.
He got a pot of water boiling, and then got a pan and started to brown the meat. He added in the spices to the meat while it was browning. He opened the can of sauce and added some more spices. While that was all heating on top of the stove, he dug through the freezer to see what else he could come up with. There was a box of Texas Toast, so he heated the oven and put some on a baking sheet to toast. Maybe when it was all ready, he could whip together a salad.
About a half hour later, it was just about ready when Angel and Natalie walked in. Natalie was carrying in a bucket of chicken. She took one look around her mess of a kitchen and smiled. “You cooked.”
Cole shrugged. “I attempted, anyway. Not sure how good it’ll be.”
“A man who can cook. Angel, you better not let this one get away.”
“Natalie!” she replied, embarrassed.
“Hey, this isn’t a regular thing, so don’t get used to it. Anyway, you brought chicken.” Cole nodded toward the bucket.
“It’ll keep in the fridge for lunch tomorrow,” Natalie insisted. “I’d much rather have what you made, Cole.”
“Not sure you’ll feel that way after you taste it.”
“Nonsense.” She put down her purse and reached in the cabinet for plates.
Angel bent down, picked up TJ, and hugged him. “Hi, Honey-Bear.”
He hugged her neck, and then turned and said, “Daddy making sagetty.”
“And you’re helping?” she asked.
He nodded.
Angel looked down at the pots and pans on the kitchen floor that TJ had been banging on with a wooden spoon. “I see that. You were a big helper.”
Cole stood at the stove, stirring the sauce. He looked at Angel and smiled. She was wearing a cotton summer dress that buttoned down the front and fell to a couple of inches above her knee. It had tiny flowers all over it and looked cute as hell. She moved toward him, and he leaned down and kissed her. “How’s our girl?” he asked when she pulled away.
“She’s had a rough day. She’s still sick to her stomach.”
“Man, I hate to hear that.”
“I know.” She set TJ down. “I’m going to go wash up.”
“Sure. Want me to pour you a glass of wine?”
She smiled. “That sounds great.” She turned to leave.
“Okay, dude. Time to put the pots away. Come on. Let’s go.”
All through dinner, Cole could tell something was wrong with Angel. He watched her as they ate. She picked at her food, nudging the noodles around on her plate. He knew that Melissa had been having a pretty bad reaction to the transplant. She’d been extremely nauseous, and they had been fighting to get enough food in her.
Cole’s eyes slid over Angel. Melissa wasn’t the only one that hadn’t been eating well these last few weeks. Angel had lost some weight, and it showed. Her face was thinner. Although they hadn’t been together since that first night, he knew her body was slimmer. He could feel it when he wrapped her arms around her.
She glanced up and caught him staring. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Natalie noticed the looks pass between them. She got up and began clearing dishes. “You want dessert, Angel?”
“No. Thank you.”
“I’ll clean up. Why don’t you and Cole get TJ ready for bed?”
Cole glanced over at his son. He was resting his head on his hand and looked tired. “Are you finished, son?”
TJ nodded, yawning.
Cole stood and scooped him up. “Come on. Let’s get you ready for bed.” He carried his son down the hall.
After they had him bathed and tucked in for the night, Cole shut TJ’s door and glanced at Angel. “You look beat, too.”
She smiled and nodded.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.