A Day of Ruin

My ankles wobbled dangerously in my heels as I slowly made my way up to my apartment door. The downstairs bar had a few lingering drinkers but for the most part, the building was quiet. I hummed to myself in the elevator, a sense of euphoria filling my blood. It had been too long since I had felt like this.

My feet started moving on their own when the doors dinged, opening up to release me from the metal confines. The carpeted hallway did nothing to ease the throbbing in my feet from the stupid heels, and I was eager to get inside to sit down. I fumbled with the keys, my eyes blurry as I tried to grab the right one.

I leaned against the door, sighing as I shifted from foot to foot.

“Fuck sake...” I groaned, my hand hitting the door in frustration.

Turning around, I rested my back against the door as I bent down, undoing the ankle straps as I kicked off my shoes. I had nearly gotten the second one completely off when the door opened behind me.

“Whoa, fuck!” I cried out, losing my balance as I lost the support of the door on my back.

Hard hands grabbed me, steadying me as I straightened. On the plus side, I spotted my second shoe lying abandoned in the doorway. I groaned in relief as my feet sank into the carpet.

“Harlow, are you fucking drunk?”

My eyes shot wide open and I spun around to stare at Dex.

“The fuck, Dex? Aren’t you meant to be at work?”

Dex raised an eyebrow, the sweet smell of beer drifting from him. He stood tall, his black shirt tight against his torso and a pair of grey sweats on his hips.

“It’s 1am, Harlow. I finished awhile ago. Clearly you haven’t.”

I rolled my eyes, the liquid courage in my veins clouding any sense of self-preservation.

“It’s called ′having a good time’. You should try it sometime.”

His hands tightened on me and it was finally at that moment that our close proximity registered in my brain. I gasped, looking up at him. His eyes were locked on mine, anger solid in them.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” he asked, clear demand in his voice.

I swallowed, leaning back to create distance. “I mean, you’ve been sulking about the house for months.”

“Because I have to live with you!” he growled. He lowered his face closer to me. “You make it so difficult to be near you. I just wish you’d fucking leave.”

The painful reminder of my job stabbed me in the chest. “Well, never fear. I’ll be out of here really soon.”

His eyes flashed in confusion. “What?”

A bubble of laughter erupted from my throat. “Yeah. You got your wish, babe. I got fired today. So I can’t pay rent. So as soon as this month is up, I’ll be out of here and you can celebrate.”

Dex stared at me in silence, his face blank as he processed my words.

“Where will you go?” he finally asked.

I shrugged, gently unhooking his hands from my waist. “I don’t know. A shelter maybe, if they will take me.”

“And if they don’t?”

“Then I guess I’ll have to stay on the street. I don’t know. I didn’t plan this.”

Silence fell between us as I picked up my discarded shoes and keys. I walked past Dex towards my room when he stopped me.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

My feet stopped as I paused in shock at his admission. I waited for him to say more, my back facing him as my heart pounded painfully.

“You drive me fucking insane, Harlow.”

An ache blossomed in my chest and I could feel tears building.

No. I wanted the euphoric numbness back. The happiness and blissful ignorance I had found myself in the past few hours. I didn’t want to deal with hurt and pain – at least not until tomorrow.

I urged myself to move, desperate to get to my bedroom. As I reached the door and grabbed the handle, Dex’s hand came down beside me, slamming his open palm onto the wooden door.

“Don’t walk away,” he growled. His voice was firm but underneath I could make out something else.

“Why not?” I whispered, turning my neck to look at him.

Dex grabbed my waist, spinning me around and slamming my back against the door. I gasped, sparks flying through my body. It didn’t hurt but the shock had my heart racing as I stared at him with disbelief.

He lowered his head, burying his face into the crook of my neck. The smell of beer hit me again and my eyes drifted closed. He stepped forward, so our bodies were flush against each other. His strong arms had me caged in as his firm torso pinned my body between him and the door.

“I hate that I hate you,” Dex murmured, his lips brushing the soft sensitive part on my neck under my ear.

“Then don’t,” I begged.

“I have to. I just have to,” he answered painfully and quietly, as if trying to convince himself. My heart sank as I started to pull back as best as I could into the door.

His hand came up to find my hair, his fingers brushing the back of my neck and travelling up through my soft locks, stopping me.

“But not tonight,” he rasped out, his lips finding mine.