44
In the fifth week on the ranch, life slowly returned to normal. With Derek safely locked away in rehab, there were no more TMZ revelations to read. And with no more TMZ scuttlebutt, and no connections to Derek tugging at my attention, my obsession began to fade once more, and I began to heal again.
Ryan and I slowly resumed the quiet, easy life we’d had before the storm. Days of horseback riding, dinners with the MacCruders or just the two of us, nights of music and wine.
We didn’t talk about what had gone on in the barn. Neither of us mentioned it.
Which was fine with me. Ignoring uncomfortable things had long been my strong suit.
That is, until they burst to the surface again, uncontrollable, unstoppable.
45
It was a Friday. We had taken the horses up into the hills to go riding. The weather was beautiful as the horses picked their way along the trail through trees and boulders. Ryan and I were talking about nothing in particular.
“If you could do anything in the world that you wanted – if somebody gave you a check for all the money you could ever need – what would you do?” I called over my shoulder.
“They kind of already have,” Ryan said as Fat Albert loped along behind me and Bessie.
“So what would you do?”
“Sit in my studio and create music all day long.”
“So you’re basically doing exactly what you want to do, even if you had all the money in the world?”
“Well, you didn’t say
that.
”
“Didn’t say what?”
“All the money in the world. If I had all the money in the world, I’d probably start a whole bunch of schools for underprivileged kids with the best teachers I could find, and then – ”
“Okay, okay, enough money to do basically whatever you wanted to do, but not save the world.”
“Then yeah, I guess I’m doing exactly what I’d be doing then. Except I’d want to bring in other musicians I respected and work with them.”
“You could totally do that. I bet you could call up people and totally have them come play with you.”
“Yeah, I probably could.”
“So why don’t you?”
“You forget, I have to go back to Athens in three weeks and record another album.”
Oh shit…
I’d forgotten all about that.
“Do you think that’s still going to happen?” I asked, a lot less chipper than before.
“What?”
“Well, with Derek in rehab…”
“Rehab’s only 30 days. Or his is, anyway. If we delay recording, it’ll probably only be by a week or so.”
My stomach turned. Derek would be back in Athens with Ryan.
Not that it would make any difference to me, since I would be in New York.
“Do you think – ”
I was going to ask again if he thought Derek might quit the band, but I didn’t get the chance. Bessie, my horse, suddenly started to fidget.
“Whoa – calm down, girl, calm down.”
“What’s wrong?” Ryan called out behind me.
“I don’t know – something’s freaking Bessie out – ”
That was all I had the chance to say before Bessie suddenly neighed loud and shrill and reared up on her hind legs.
Keep in mind, the most I’d ever had to contend with was a light trot in the pastures around Ryan’s house. As soon as she was up in the air, I was out of the saddle.
The world spun crazily around me, sky and green branches overhead, and then
WHAM
I hit the ground on my back. All the air in my lungs went out with a single
whoof
and I lay there in the dirt, unable to breathe, unable to move, listening as Bessie continued to neigh in terror just a few feet away.
Ryan was suddenly over me, his worried face taking up my entire field of vision.
“Kaitlyn?! Kaitlyn! Are you okay? Can you move?”
I just stared up at him, moving my lips, but no sound coming out –
And then suddenly I was able to breathe again, the air
whooshing
back into my chest.
At the same moment, both horses roared past us down the trail, fast as they could, their hooves thundering vibrations into my body through the dirt.
“What – what happened?” I choked out through the dust in the air.
“I don’t – ” Ryan started to say, but at the same time he looked around.
And stopped talking.
For a split second he stared at something, and then he started to stand up, slowly and deliberately.
“Kaitlyn,” he whispered. “Don’t move. Don’t run.”
I had no idea why on God’s green earth I would want to run after what I’d just been through until I raised my head and saw it.
A cougar.
It was a yellow shape in the shadows of the trees and boulders, a long, lithe body with a twitching tail. It was crouched, its gaze fixed on me and Ryan, golden eyes glinting in the dappled sunlight.
I almost messed my pants.
Just as I was about to scrabble onto my butt and hightail it out of there, Ryan said quietly, “
Don’t run.
It’s faster than you, and if you run, it’ll chase you.”
Ryan was at his full height now. He stepped across my body towards the cat, getting between me and it. At the same time, he raised his arms up in the air above his head like a grizzly bear, his fingers curled like claws –
And began to bellow.
Though I couldn’t see it, I imagined his face was full of fury, because he was yelling at that cat for all he was worth.
“What are you doing?!”
“MAKE NOISE!” he shouted. “SCREAM AT IT!”
That wasn’t hard to do, terrified as I was.
I screamed at the thing as loud as I could. Ryan’s low-pitched roar and my high-pitched shriek reverberated through the hills, echoing back to us like a pair of murder victims.
Which is what I was afraid we were about to become.
However, the cat looked back and forth between us, apparently freaked out. Its head lay low to the ground, its ears flattened against its head –
And then it bolted into the treeline, running as fast as it could.
As soon as it disappeared into the brush, Ryan turned back to me and knelt down. His pale face belied his previous display of aggression.
“Are you okay? Can you get up?” he asked urgently.
“I – I don’t know – ”
“Here, let me help you. We need to go
now.
”
He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet – but my right ankle screamed in pain as soon as my foot touched the ground.
“Aaah!” I cried out, and lifted my foot up gingerly.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think it’s sprained. Or broken, I don’t know.”
“Can you walk on it?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Here,” he said, and suddenly bent beside me. One arm swept around my back, the other behind my knees. Suddenly I was swept off my feet, my body in the air, supported by his strong arms and pressed hard against his chest.
I flung my arms around his neck involuntarily. “WHOA – what are you – ”
“We’ve got to get out of here
now,
” he repeated as he began walking down the path – or more like trotting down it, as fast as he could go with me in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” I asked fearfully, though I was pretty sure I already knew.