He shook his head. “If the band’s going to break up, it won’t matter if you’re in New York or Athens. We’ll break up, regardless.” He reached out and held my hand as he gazed into my eyes. “Come back home with me.”
I took a long while for me to answer. A
long
while.
He started to get a worried look on his face. “I mean… if you want to stay in New York for your writing career, I completely understand.”
“No, that’s not it…”
And it wasn’t. I hadn’t been able to jumpstart my career in almost a year in New York. When I finally did get my big break, it wasn’t because of my writing, but because of Derek. And then I went and torched the entire opportunity by not being able to finish the article. My writing career was pretty much the farthest thing from my mind at the moment.
I just… I felt like I was fighting to keep my head above water.
On one hand, I had been so happy over the last two weeks that I didn’t want it to end.
On the other hand, I felt like I would be horribly selfish if I stayed with him. The band would break up, millions of fans would be distraught –
But Ryan didn’t want to stay in Bigger if it meant he had to give me up. He had made that abundantly clear.
Killian and Riley were already millionaires. They wouldn’t exactly starve to death if the band self-destructed. Not only that, but Killian had flat-out told me he would be happier not being a rock star anymore.
And those millions of fans were just hypothetical people to me – nameless, faceless excuses for not doing something I was afraid of.
No, the biggest reason I didn’t want to go back to Athens was because Derek would be there. And I wasn’t sure how I would handle seeing him again.
Or how he would react to me and Ryan.
I was pretty sure it would be like walking into a minefield.
But… my life had felt like it was over when Derek cheated on me. Now I had a second chance with someone new – someone who was really, really good for me. And that was worth crossing a minefield or two.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“…yeah?” he asked, hesitant but all smiles.
“Yeah,” I nodded, and smiled back.
We kissed, drifted back down onto the bed, and made love again – this time tenderly, slowly, whispering “I love you” throughout.
57
Another interesting development happened before we left South Dakota.
I knew something was odd when an unfamiliar 212 number came up on my phone. Derek was in rehab, though, so I didn’t think it could be him. I answered on the fourth ring.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Jim O’Malley from Rolling Stone… may I speak to Ms. Reynolds?”
My heart seized up in my chest. I thought about saying,
Wrong number.
Visions of ‘breach of contract’ lawsuits danced in my head…
…until I remembered that Ryan had basically bribed Glen to get off my back. And that if anybody was in trouble, it should be Glen, not me. Only then did I calm down.
Sort of.
“Speaking,” I said with a trembling voice.
“Hi, Ms. Reynolds… um… this is kind of an odd question… but were you ever contacted by a man named Glen Smith?”
My voice caught in my throat as I tried to answer. “I – ahem – uh, yes.”
“Would you mind telling me what he contacted you about?”
Bribery pay-off or no, I started shaking. “Um… to write a cover article on the band Bigger for
Rolling Stone.
”
Jim sighed.
“I see. I realize this is a very… sensitive question… but did he ever use the promise of a cover story to, um… to do anything unprofessional? Any sort of unbecoming conduct?”
“You mean, other than screaming at me for not delivering the article on time?”
Jim chuckled.
“Yes. Anything other than screaming.”
“Why did you laugh?”
“Well… I mean… it’s obvious you weren’t going to deliver a cover story on Bigger.”
Suddenly all my fear went out the window, to be replaced by indignation. “And why is it obvious I wasn’t going to deliver a cover story?”
I thought he was going to make some snarky comment about
I’ve seen what you’ve written – THAT’S why it’s obvious.
But that wasn’t the case.
“Well, the biggest obstacle is that Derek Kane doesn’t give interviews.”
I frowned.