Matteo pulled free and brought me to shower without another word.
I felt like I'd changed. Like the Ivory I'd been before was gone, replaced by a woman who would let a murderer fuck her ass and love it.
It left me feeling numb.
Because I didn't recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. Matteo was content to hold me close, smothering me so he knew that I hadn't left. He didn't say it, but I could see the panic in rare moments. I knew he didn't want to lose me anymore than I wanted to lose him, so one of us would have to concede.
I knew it would be me.
It always was.
Twenty-Seven
Matteo
Ryker stood just inside the door, welcoming me inside with a nod. "Is he alive?" I asked.
Another nod in response, but the tension pouring off him was tangible. It impressed me the man was still alive.
The dealer who had shot his woman's husband had been a very idiotic man.
There was no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't walk away with his life. Even if I'd been so inclined, which I wasn't, there would be no way to talk Ryker down from the cliff. Not after I'd seen the pictures of Calla sobbing with her two children clinging to her.
"What are you going to do about the woman?" I asked as we walked toward the freezer. Her husband hadn't been a good man, the crooked cop that he was, but she hadn't had the slightest clue about that. So wrapped up in the picture perfect life they lived, she never saw the darkness that lurked beneath the surface in the man she'd married and shared a bed with. She didn't know him. Not in the slightest. The reality made me grateful that the truth was out with Ivory. No matter how much the truth of who I was had hurt her, the pain was done. She could heal, and there would be no more secrets between us.
Not that she'd ever find out about, anyway.
"She needs time," he answered gruffly, one of the rare twinges of emotion crossing over his face. Only that woman and those kids could bring out anything that even remotely resembled humanity in the enigma that was Ryker. "They aren't ready."
"No, they're not," I agreed. "It would take a cruel man to uproot them right now."
He nodded. "She hasn't worked in years. Never needed to. I'll send money. Take care of them until they're ready to understand."
He opened the freezer door, schooling his harsh features back into the mask of indifference that he was so gifted at. I wondered if it was conflicting for him. He didn't want Calla and the kids to suffer but having Chad out of the way undoubtedly freed up the place he wanted to fill more than anything.
I stepped in behind him, glaring at the beaten pulp that remained of the overzealous street dealer who worked for me. His eyes were nearly swollen shut, but even with all that, he still recognized me the moment I walked in. "Mr. Bellandi," he sobbed.
"Who gave you permission to kill the cop?" I asked.
"No—nobody, sir. He saw me dealing, was gonna arrest me. I didn't have no choice!" the guy sniveled, greasy hair hanging down to his shoulders in a matted mess of blood and his own filth.
"Tell me, what do you think is more valuable to me? A low-time street dealer who buys more of his own product than he sells or a cop on my payroll who makes evidence disappear? Hmm?"
He winced, fat tears rolling down his blood-stained cheeks. "I didn't know!"
"Even if he wasn't on my payroll, do you think it's more of a hassle for me to get you out of prison for dealing? Or for killing a cop?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't think—"
"Clearly," I spat. "His wife and kids are important to my friend Ryker. I'll let him decide what to do with you. But allow me to make one thing clear. You'll never see the light of day again, so you can save your apologies. I'm not in the habit of employing idiots." I turned, striding for the freezer door. Ryker nodded at me, a little satisfied smirk playing at his lips.
However, he ended the dealer's life, one thing was for sure.
It wouldn't be pleasant.
The dealer's screams started before the freezer door closed behind me and cut the sound off completely.
As soon as I was out of the warehouse, I climbed into the Aston and went home.