Even though it wasn't a romantic relationship, I wondered what it must be like to have someone love me so much that it excited them to talk about me to their friends and family. I couldn’t deny any longer that I wanted that and him desperately.
That the life he painted with his words could be mine to share in. Because an animated Enzo was a beautiful sight.
It wasn’t until he carried me toward the stairs at the edge of the pool that I snapped out of the trance I’d fallen into listening to him talking about the people he loved. “I want to give you something,” he murmured, setting me to my feet at the edge. Hurrying up the steps and to the house, he grabbed two towels off the rack just inside. Wrapping one around me, he dried me off quickly as I shivered. “Get inside,” he ordered, swatting my ass. I didn’t hesitate to follow that order, racing in the open door and watching him dry himself off.
He followed me in, closing the door in a hurry and going to his bedroom without another word. He emerged with the towel wrapped around his waist, a gun in the grip of his left hand. Clutching the towel tighter to my chest, I studied it cautiously as he held it out to me. “Try not to shoot me with it when I piss you off,” he said with a laugh.
Taking it from him, I looked down at the engraving along the sides of the barrel. Flowers etched into the surface, the words “Ride or Die” placed among them in a silver color. My eyes immediately went to his tattoo, to the echo of it on the gift he’d given me.
“It’s the gun we took off the man who broke into your apartment. The bullet that was meant for you. Seems only fitting that you use it to protect yourself now.”
My thumb trailed over the words, drawing comfort from them as I spoke. “Does this mean I can go home now?” I asked. The thought should have been a welcome one. It was what I’d wanted. The freedom to make my own choices and spend my nights in my own apartment. But faced with the prospect of going home to a house devoid of Enzo, it no longer appealed to me.
I tried to hide the disappointment from my face, masking it behind a cautious smile that didn’t seem to convince him any more than it did myself.
“No,” he chuckled. “I am your home now. This is just an insurance policy. You know how to use it, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t have a back-up means to protect yourself. The only time you should ever need this is if someone gets through me, but I want to know you have it in case that day comes.”
“Well, that’s only slightly terrifying,” I mumbled. If the thought of g
oing home without Enzo threatened to tear apart the guard I kept on my heart, the thought of him lying dead shattered it to dust.
“You’re my ride or die, Baby Girl,” he murmured, stepping into me until I turned my head to rest my cheek against his chest. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck, and I let him hold me until the agonizing threat of losing him faded beneath the comfort of his touch.
I woke up suddenly in my bed, feeling the cold settle down to my bones. I blinked away my confusion as reality jarred me and my senses returned. I didn't remember falling asleep.
I remembered lying in bed, Enzo sprawling on his side next to me while I talked about my brothers and my relationship with Dad. Then there was nothing. The sudden desire to know what Enzo's face looked like in his sleep overwhelmed me, pushing me to turn over and study him.
But I was alone.
Tossing back the covers that tangled around my feet, I crept from the bedroom and peeked into the bathroom. When that was empty, I checked the hallway and made my way downstairs. I didn't bother with trying to escape, remembering how well that had gone the last time I attempted it. I wasn’t even positive I wanted to sneak out at any rate, not after how crushed I’d felt in the moment where it seemed like he was finally turning me away. Enzo's bedroom was positioned at the back of the house, his door cracked open. I moved closer, rubbing my arms to hold off the chill I still felt. A quick peek inside confirmed the unmistakable shape of his body in the center of the bed. All the hope I hadn’t realized I clung to dropped away and left me empty at the sight.
It shouldn't matter.
I didn't want him to sleep with me, but the rejection stung, regardless. I was good enough to fuck in public places. I was good enough to claim in public so that other men couldn't have me.
But I wasn't good enough to share a bed with.
Biting my lip harshly to stem my rising anger, I made my way back up the stairs and curled up in bed with Rebel at my feet again. At least she liked to sleep with me.
I never fell back asleep.
I really hated to admit that I'd never been to a strip club. With my wild child personality, it didn't match what I knew other people thought about me. So even though I was exhausted from the night before, the neon lights and plush, dark interior of Tease called to something inside my soul. "Don't even think about it," Enzo warned. "If I catch you up on a pole, I will spoon out the eyeballs of everyone in this place. I doubt Matteo will approve."
I chuckled at him, turning my head away from the woman who worked one of the poles in a navy blue bra and panty set. Lacy, sexy, delicious.
Even I wanted to fuck her, and I didn't think I swung that way.
"Do you come here often?" I asked Enzo as he led me through the main room. Even though it was only late afternoon, early crowds for the Friday night rush seemed to have already poured into the club. Men in suits sat around the seven stages with poles in the room. Enzo never spared a glance at any of the women working them or giving lap dances around the space. He just made his way toward a closed door in the back where a man stood guard. He nodded to Enzo politely, pushing the door open for us to step through.
"I’m only here when Matteo needs me to supervise a pick up. Don't make me regret not dropping you at the Estate with Scar, Baby Girl."
I rolled my eyes, taking in the tasteful nude art that lined the walls of the back hallway. Girls raced around in heels that towered so high I thought I might snap my neck just watching them. Watching them in varying degrees of nudity with lightly glittered skin, I kind of wanted to know what it felt like to glow under the black lights. "I'm not going to run. Who would want to leave this place?" Even as I asked the question, I kind of wanted a bottle of sanitizer just thinking about how many men probably found a dark corner to rub one out.
Euw.
"I always assumed strip clubs would be...grosser." It felt like a betrayal to myself to say the words, but given the fact that there was no jizz glowing like a neon beacon on any of the walls, I took that as a good sign.
Enzo scoffed. "Like Matteo would own anything that wasn't the epitome of class. Even the stables are immaculate."