"But?" Ivory asked.
"Does it matter? With everything he's done, the stalking and the spying, and taking away my choice? I don't know if I can ever get past that." I said, and Luna seemed to realize that we weren't having as much fun as her. Her little fist came down on my chest, demanding my attention. Ryker saved her from having to continue to fight for my attention, racing over from the yard to snatch her out of my arms and put her on his shoulders. His T-shirt rode up just a little, flashing his abs to all of us as he reached up to support Luna's back before he turned.
She clung to his hair so tightly I knew it must have hurt, but giggled when he trotted through the grass to join in on Ines' flower picking. "I swear that man's muscles have muscles," Samara giggled.
I snorted a laugh, because they didn't have the first clue.
"You had sex, didn't you?" Ivory asked, and I bit my lip in humiliation. I didn't want to admit that I'd given in so easily, but it also seemed like these women were the closest thing to confidantes I would have if this would be my new life.
"We did," I admitted, and they both squealed excitedly. I shushed them furiously, wincing when Ryker's gaze came over to us knowingly. The others seemed to pick up on it too, roaring with laughter as they patted Ryker on the back like he'd won a war. "I fucking hate men," I whispered.
"We had a betting pool of how long you would hold out," Samara admitted, and I looked at her in shock. It hurt to know that they'd bet on something that shouldn't have happened. That it was just a foregone conclusion, because that was what my life had come to. "It isn't like that. Anyone can see that he adores you. When a man like Ryker turns his attention to you like that, there's not a woman whose willpower is strong enough to resist it. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't jump him the first night."
I laughed, "I was a little busy plotting ways to stab him while he slept."
Ivory giggled at my side. "I remember those days." I ignored the fact that both of them seemed content that they totally had Stockholm Syndrome, because what could I do about it? "How was it?"
"Each time was different. The first one we were fighting, and he just shoved me up against the wall and…" I trailed off, because it felt like too much detail to say that he'd tried to shove his monster cock in me and had to move me to the bed before he could work his way in. "The second time I was asleep when he started touching me. It felt like he made love to me," I whispered.
"I'm sure he did," Samara said. "From what Lino said, his obsession with you has gone on for a long, long time. I don't think you would hold his interest in that way if he didn't love you, Calla."
Ryker had left Luna with her father and Scar, returning his attention to where Enzo kicked a soccer ball with Axel and laughed violently when it went soaring over his head. "Obsession isn't love."
"Normally, I'd agree with you," Ivory said. "But these men aren't normal. They love harder than any other men I've ever known. There's a certain obsession that goes along with that inevitably.” She paused, studying me.
Samara’s attention fixated on me too, and she squealed finally at whatever she saw on my face. “You like him!”
“Shhh!” I hissed, looking over to where Ryker studied our interaction intently, as if he could read my expressions well enough to feel the meaning of our conversation. “I don’t want to,” I whispered when that intense blue gaze finally left me. “I shouldn’t.”
“Should and shouldn’t don’t matter in your relationship,” Ivory said. “Does he make you happy?”
"I don’t know,” I kicked the grass like a child as my discomfort grew. “Sometimes.”
“And when he doesn’t? Is it because he doesn’t make you happy? Or because you’re intentionally being difficult?” Samara said with a pointed grin. She knew me too well to believe me if I tried to argue that I wasn’t difficult. "Look around you. Look at what he has to give to you and those kids. They'll never find a family who loves them more than ours and who will always be in their corner. Those men already worship them. They already see them as theirs and they protect their family above all else. He can give them a family. He can give them love. The kids see that, but he can give those things to you too."
I didn't have to answer, not when Ryker came flying from the field and suddenly put his shoulder in my stomach to lift me off the ground. Apparently, he'd grown tired of my conversation on the sidelines, because he turned and raced for the field where the others played. "Ryker!" I screamed, smacking his ass. I winced as pain vibrated through my palm. It was seriously not okay for one man to have an ass that hard. Enzo laughed, and I glared at him while I shook my hand out. "Asshole," I muttered to him as we passed.
His grin was full of amusement as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Axel!" I said with a laugh when Enzo's infectious energy made me smile. "Make Ryker put me down!" With a grin, Axel bolted over to where Ryker still held me captive over his shoulder.
Ryker teased him, running in the opposite direction so fast I thought I would hurl up my lunch. How he could run like that with my entire weight settled over his shoulder, I'd never understand. The man wasn't human.
He was an animal, impossibly strong as he deftly avoided Axel's grabby hands when he finally caught up to us. I screamed when Ryker suddenly flung me forward so I slid down his torso and had to cling to his neck and wrap my legs around his waist.
"They do reach! I'll let Sadie know!" Samara yelled from the sidelines, and I flipped her off even as I howled with laughter. When Ryker finally let Axel catch us, he dropped to the ground dramatically with me underneath him, but somehow kept me from getting hurt in the impact. His weight covered mine as he shielded me from Axel, snarling at my son playfully when he tried to free me from Ryker's grasp.
I chuckled into Ryker's chest, feeling my laughter bubble at how ridiculous this must have looked. But I'd never had a moment like this, a man who would act like an idiot to entertain my children. With the sound of Ines and Luna giggling off to the side, it felt like a piece of me snapped into place.
The piece of me that knew I could have this as my life. That my kids could have this for themselves.
I wanted that. I just didn't know how to reach out, ignore how we got here, and grab it.
He tilted his head down to look at me, his eyes going to the smile on my face. His eyes lingered there until the smile drifted off my face. It felt too intense, that fixation on something as simple as a smile. His hand reached up, his thumb stroking over my bottom lip delicately. I was horribly aware of the eyes on us, of my children watching, but Ryker didn't seem to give a shit about the audience.
"Smile at me again," he whispered, and I did awkwardly behind his thumb as my cheeks turned pink from the intensity of his stare. When he pulled his thumb away, he leaned forward to touch his lips to mine. It was a gentle kiss, soft and intimate as his body relaxed into mine and his hands cupped both my cheeks. My head disappeared between them, in that way that Ryker always made me feel so small. Even smaller than I actually was. I hated that something as simple as a smile from me made him so happy and his face lit up.
How was I supposed to resist that?