“Thank you,” I whispered instead of responding to the feeling of despondency he left me with. As much as Jason might have aggravated me, he was the only connection the kids had to their father. The only other person he considered family.
“I miss you three. When can I see you?”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” I said, mumbling the words as I bit my lip. Ryker’s face grew more thunderous every second I stayed on the phone, and I suddenly realized it would probably be in my best interest to end the conversation as soon as possible.
Yikes.
Spicy meatball.
“Okay, but—”
“Gotta go!” I said, pressing the end call button furiously when Ryker stormed his way to me. His eyes darkened as he stared down at me, making me swallow through my suddenly dry mouth. “Jason wants to see the kids.”
“How about fuck no?” He growled, and I glanced over his shoulder. The kids watched the exchange with interest.
“Uncle Jason says hi!” I called to them, patting him on the shoulders as I put on my big girl panties and walked around his heaving torso. “You gonna Hulk out or something?”
“Calla,” he warned.
“Deep breaths.” I stretched up, kissing his cheek as I went to improve Axel’s mood again. I practically skipped.
Given the jealousy he’d made me feel with the suspicion of him dreaming about another woman, I didn’t feel even remotely guilty as I tuned him out.
An eye for an eye.
Thirty-Four
Calla
It was my first birthday in captivity.
I didn't expect much, didn't want much. Moms quickly got used to being forgotten on their days.
Who made the homemade presents with the kids for everyone else?
Moms.
Who did the shopping for other peoples' birthdays?
Moms.
It meant there was no one who put any thought into what my two-year-old could do for me. Axel was old enough to think about it now, but given that he was always with me, he was stuck too.
I never expected to wake up to a living room decorated with Calla Lilies everywhere. I wasn't prepared for the fact that Ryker had let me sleep in or that the kids were up and dressed for the day in nice clothes I'd never seen before.
There was a stack of pancakes on the table, with candles in the center and waiting for me to blow them out. My eyes watered when Ines lunged for me, wrapping her arms around my legs and shrieking. "Happy!"
My throat clogged with emotion. Chad had never once thought to do something so simple for me.
It was just another moment of realization of just how indifferent my marriage had been. I'd had my kids, and I'd thought they were all I needed.
But they weren't.
I needed more, and it was only after the realization that Ryker might love another woman that I knew I wanted it from him. Because it hurt, and it shouldn’t have.
"Happy birthday, Mommy!" Axel said. He turned to Ryker excitedly. "Can she open her presents now?"
I widened my eyes at him. "Let's let your Mom wake up and eat some breakfast. Why don't we save the presents for after?" Ryker asked him, in that gentle voice that still seemed so jarring coming from the man who I never would have thought capable. When Ryker pulled out my chair, I dropped into it in a daze. "You'll have cake later, but blow out the first candles of the day, Sunshine." Looking up at him, I forced myself to blow them all out.