Even if I had wanted to leave, Ryker would never let us go.
Forty-Four
Calla
I'd been on edge since Jason approached me, reading into every little thing Ryker did as a sign of his suspicion. I did everything I could not to act any differently than normal, going to painstaking lengths to treat him no differently than I would have before my deception. There were multiple times when I considered just coming clean, but the threat of what he might do was enough to dissuade me of it quickly.
It was inconsequential, since I'd said no. It shouldn't matter.
But I knew it did, and the guilt of my omission haunted me.
A few days later, Ryker was on the phone when I got out of the shower. My heart stuttered in my chest when he turned to look at me and his eyes were as cold as I'd ever seen. I froze, feeling like my life flashed before my eyes. I didn't think he'd hurt me, but that didn't mean I didn't fear what he would do if he found out I'd hidden something from him.
But I'd made my bed, and it was too late to turn back.
"Yeah, August, you know you're always welcome to come help," Ryker said int
o the phone, his eyes warming as his lips tipped into a smile. My breath whooshed out of me in relief, and I tugged my robe tighter around myself. "Thanks for your help," he said, stabbing the screen of his phone in frustration.
"You and my Dad talk on the phone now?" I asked, glancing at him with a little smile. He returned it, but it wasn't as warm as I'd gotten used to.
"Occasionally," he shrugged. I knew it shouldn't matter. My father was his father-in-law by all rights, but it just seemed weird that they would speak on the phone like that. Like I couldn't trust it. I narrowed my eyes on him suspiciously, wondering what he was up to. I'd been so preoccupied in my guilt, that it was entirely possible I'd missed Ryker's planning and scheming when I should have seen it right in front of my face.
If he was conspiring with my father, I'd kill them both.
"I have something to show you," Ryker grunted, tossing his cell onto the bed as he went to his nightstand. Fear pulsed again, wondering if it was the moment he confronted me about Jason. And then I wondered what I was doing in a marriage where I had to fear my husband in any way.
Who the fuck had I become that I loved him despite that fear?
When he handed me the folder of papers, I accepted it with my heart in my throat and flipped the lid. The Certificate of Adoption stared back at me, and I blinked in confusion before turning my head up to him. He'd filled everything out. Just the place for my signature remained empty.
I drew in a deep breath, trying to quell the simultaneous relief that I would not be a prisoner in my home again combined with my rage that he would be so presumptuous as to even date the fucking papers. I tossed the folder onto the bed, stepping into his space and placing my hands on his chest. "It's too soon," I said, staring up at him as I tried to make him understand. "We only just got married. They need more time to adjust before we throw this at them too."
"They're coping just fine," Ryker warned with a growl despite my attempts to keep the conversation civil.
"I don't think they're ready for this," I said, tossing a hand at the folder on the bed. "I think they need to see us together as a family more before we make this official in that way. Their father has only been gone for a year, Ryker," I murmured. "I know Axel puts on a good show, and I know he adores you, but he idolized Chad. He deserves to take the time to cope with that loss before we pressure him to move on too suddenly."
"Chad was not a good man to be idolized," Ryker growled, turning and leaving me in the center of the room as he went back to the nightstand.
“I didn’t say that he should be, but Axel doesn’t know that.”
He grabbed a second folder, and he tossed it onto the bed so that photos spilled free. I opened it, dreading the contents. Nothing good ever came of the photos Ryker took.
In them, Chad stood looking stern and serious with Matteo and Simon, with Ryker, over and over again. "What is all this?" I asked.
"He made evidence disappear for Matteo. Covered up crimes and murders and pocketed money, all so he could benefit off the suffering of the people he swore to protect. I may not be a good man, but I'm loyal to the people I pledge myself to, and not just to myself."
The money Matteo passed to Chad in photo after photo couldn't be denied, but even if I didn't have the photos, I would have believed Ryker. He'd given me no reason to doubt his word, even if I couldn't trust him in other ways.
"Okay," I whispered, biting my lip as I tried to think of how to explain things to Ryker. That my ex-husband being a criminal changed nothing about the way the kids perceived him, or that they deserved time to grieve their father properly, regardless of what kind of man he was.
It wasn't for Chad. It was for the kids.
Ryker pressed on, ignorant of the fact that he wasn't making any progress in his attempt to persuade me. "At least I don't hide behind a badge and pretend to be a good man. I'm a criminal. A murderer, but I have been honest with you from day one about what I am, Calla. You made your choice."
"Did I?" I asked him. "Because I don't remember you giving me a choice."
His face hardened, and he took a step toward me. I held up a hand, for once putting my foot down. I wouldn't let him use sex to coerce me into agreeing with what he wanted. "I don't remember you telling me no when I made you mine, Sunshine."