Already Dead (Laura Frost FBI)

CHAPTER TWO

Laura had to stop and give herself a moment as she poured Lacey another glass of juice, standing in her kitchen like it was nothing. Looking over at the little blonde girl playing on the floor, she almost had to pinch herself.

Her daughter was here. Playing with her toys. Doing normal kid things. And she had been here all weekend.

It was the third weekend in a row that Lacey had stayed over, since Laura had gained that right at the custody hearing. And even though it was starting to feel completely normal, there were still moments when she had to remind herself it was real.

“Here you go, sweetie,” Laura said, carrying the glass over to her. “We’ll get ready in a little while, okay? I don’t want to be late.”

“Can I bring all my cats?” Lacey asked, gesturing to the fluffy toys she was currently pretending to brush and dress up with Velcro bows. “Amy said she wanted to see them.”

“Of course, you can,” Laura said, smiling. She sat down on the sofa behind Lacey, reaching for her own cup of coffee from the table. “So long as you promise to pack them all away when it’s time to go. We don’t want to keep Daddy waiting.”

Lacey pouted slightly, then shuffled backwards across the floor to lean against her mother’s legs. She was still wearing her pajamas, a matching pink set which declared her to be ‘Daddy’s little angel.’ Laura was sure her ex-husband, Marcus, sent her with that outfit on purpose. Just to try to get a rise out of her.

He couldn’t have been further off the mark. Just having Lacey in her life again after going for so long without seeing her meant that Laura was willing to take any insult. Nothing could ruin how happy she felt to get to be a mom again.

“Can’t I stay here longer?” she asked. “I don’t want to go back yet.”

Secretly, Laura was thrilled, and inside her head she was grinning and doing a victory dance. Outwardly, though, she just smiled little and tousled Lacey’s hair. “I know, sweetie. I always want the weekend to last forever, too. But you’ve got to go back to school, remember?”

Lacey sighed and rolled her eyes in that way that only a six-year-old could, full of sass that seemed too grown-up and was therefore highly comical. “Ughhhh. I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay with you!”

Laura hid another smile behind her coffee cup. “School’s really important, Lacey. And anyway, don’t you want to go see your friends?”

“I could play with Amy instead,” Lacey pointed out.

Laura chuckled, shaking her head. “Come on, you. Time to get dressed and go see your new favorite person. You get to play with her today, and tomorrow she has to go to school as well, okay? The quicker we get ready, the more time you’ll have to show her your cats.”

This promise sent Lacey rocketing out of the living room and into the small bedroom that she was currently sharing with Laura, with a child-sized bed set up at the foot of Laura’s own. It wasn’t much, but it was all she had been able to offer. Rent was high enough here in Washington, D.C., as it was, and Laura was still trying to recover financially from her own past mistakes.

As well as in every other way. Not too long ago, this morning coffee would have been laced with something stronger to keep the cold out. Not the literal cold of winter, which was blooming strong outside her windows, but the cold memories of things she’d seen in her visions. Things that no one would ever want to see.

The thought of her visions made her check her cell phone, a habit that was becoming increasingly urgent over the last few days. She’d even started to open her messaging apps just to make sure she hadn’t missed a notification. It wasn’t like Nate to go quiet for this long.

Ever since she’d seen a vision of him plunging to his death the last time they spoke, Laura had been fearing the worst. That he was already dead. Even though, logically, she knew someone would have told her, she couldn’t help but feel the fear surfacing over and over.

Laura sipped the last of her coffee and set the cup down, sighing. Still nothing. It had been two weeks since their last case ended, and all of her messages and calls had gone unanswered. After he didn’t show up to work for the usual debrief on their first Monday back at FBI headquarters, Laura had been puzzled. Then worried. Now, she was practically antsy.

Division Chief Rondelle, their direct superior, would only say that Nate was on leave and that he was fine. And for Laura to ask him herself why he wasn’t at work. But Nate wouldn’t reply to her, and Laura was getting more and more nervous. The last time she’d spoken to him, it had felt as though he believed in her psychic abilities at last – but also that he wasn’t happy about it. Like he no longer wanted to know her.

And, unexpectedly, that hurt even more than it had when he hadn’t believed her.

“Are you nearly ready?” she called out, knowing that Lacey needed a prompt or two in order to get her moving in the mornings – even when she had the motivation of a playdate.

“Yes, Mom!” Lacey called back at the top of her voice.

Laura hid a smile, knowing this meant her daughter had probably just dropped whatever toy she’d been distracted by and scrambled to actually start dressing herself. She had some time, then. Knowing that her boss was always working, no matter the day or time – she’d never actually seen him not in uniform, and only a handful of times not behind his desk – she dialed his number. If she didn’t get answers, this feeling of worry wasn’t going to go away. The last thing she needed was another challenge to her sobriety, and legitimate fear over the safety of someone she cared about was a serious challenge.

“Division Chief Rondelle.” His voice came over the speakers with the reassuring familiarity of someone who could always be counted on to be the same.

“Chief, it’s Laura,” she said. “Sorry to call on a weekend.”

“Go ahead,” he said, with magnanimity. She’d known he would.

“I know you told me to wait or to ask him, but I just… I’m getting worried,” Laura said. “It’s Nate. Can you at least tell me what kind of leave he’s taken? It’s not medical, is it?”

Rondelle sighed, and for a heart-lurching moment Laura thought he was going to say that she was right.

“No,” he said. “It’s not medical leave. Look, Laura, I was going to speak to you about this tomorrow, but I suppose now is as good a time as any.”

“What is it?” she asked, her heart pounding with fear. If Rondelle had been planning to set up a meeting and talk to her formally, it was probably serious. But if it wasn’t medical, then…

“Agent Lavoie came to me late on Friday and put in a request,” Rondelle replied. He paused then, as if he needed a break to approach such a delicate matter. “I’m afraid he wants to transfer to a new partner.”

Laura’s heart sank right down into her feet. If she wasn’t already sitting down, she had the feeling she would have had to grab onto something for support.

She and Nate had been partners for almost four years. He was her closest friend, even if he didn’t know it. The person she could always count on to have her back. Before him, she’d had a string of other short-term partners, as well as a lot of solo work. It hadn’t been as fulfilling. Having that connection with someone, actually wanting to work with them day after day – it made all the difference. He’d been there for her through some of her darkest days – days when she was stuck at the bottom of a bottle, days when she’d thought she would never see her daughter again. And going back to not having that…

It would be lonely. So lonely. And she didn’t want to lose him. Even though she immediately knew why he must have put in the transfer, her heart rebelled.

She’d told him everything, just like he wanted. Confessed the whole lot. And he was going to turn his back on her now?

“No,” she said, a knee-jerk reaction.

Rondelle made a funny noise, something that could have been a wry chuckle, wrenched out of him but not from a place of real humor. “I’m afraid it’s not up to you, Laura. Nathaniel has the prerogative to request a transfer if he so wishes.”

“I…” Laura paused, closing her eyes and shaking her head. She knew. She knew that the protocol dictated he could ask for a transfer whenever he wanted, and so long as he provided a good enough reason, Rondelle would give it to him. And Nate was smart. He was an FBI agent, after all. He wouldn’t have put in for a transfer if he hadn’t first thought up a good enough reason.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Rondelle said, with regret in his voice. “You’ve been partnered for a while now. But I don’t have any intention of turning down such a reasonable request. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow.”

“Alright,” Laura said, her mouth dry. What else could she say? She could scream, shout, cry, and beg, but it would make no difference. Like Rondelle said, if the request was reasonable, there was no reason not to grant it.

Unless she could come up with one.

Rondelle ended the call, and Laura looked up to see Lacey emerging from the bedroom in a getup that put a smile back on her face, even if it was a sad one: a pink unicorn onesie, complete with a tutu skirt placed over the top.

“I’m a unicorn ballerina,” Lacey declared.

“Nice try, kiddo,” Laura said, then sighed. If it made her daughter happy, why stop her? It wasn’t like they were going out somewhere that she’d be embarrassed by it, and it wasn’t a school day. They were just going to spend time with friends. Besides, the fluffy onesie was probably more weather-appropriate than anything else Lacey had brought with her. She shook her head, mostly at her own first instinct to tell Lacey to change. “Oh, fine. You’re a unicorn ballerina. Let’s go see Amy, shall we?”