Already Dead (Laura Frost FBI)

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Laura looked up dully as Eric walked over, sitting down beside her on the tailgate of the ambulance. They were both sutured and bandaged and dosed, wrapped in foil blankets to keep off the chill of the middle of the night.

The air had that kind of unreal quality to it that always seemed to settle in during the early hours, if you were still awake. Everything still around you, except yourself. The way the night washed all of the colors out of everything. And here, it was even stranger, because there was so much activity happening right in front of them, and the colors that had been leeched out were replaced by blue and red, flashing over and over again.

Maybe it was just that the adrenaline had worn off. Or maybe it was the painkillers they had given her. Whatever it was, Laura couldn’t help feeling like something about this just wasn’t real.

“How’s your hand?” Eric asked.

Laura looked down at her hand, stupidly, as if the bandages could tell her. “I’m not sure,” she admitted, with a high, uncharacteristic laugh that made her feel even more on edge than she had before. When had she ever made a sound like that before? “I can’t really feel it anymore.”

“They got you on the good stuff, too, huh?” Eric said, snorting and shaking his head. She looked up at him and laughed, and for a moment they were both laughing, and something kind of cleared from her. Like a net being lifted up from over her eyes.

Their laughter died down to nothing, leaving the hush of the night only to be disturbed by the local cops and EMTs and the residents standing around on the street in their nightclothes. It felt like poison on Laura’s lips, now the impulse was gone. The community around them was shattered. Three young women dead, and one no doubt traumatized for life – and Laura herself had ended a life. Even if it was a dangerous and violent one, it had been a life.

It was never going to be enough, no matter how many cases they solved. There would always be men like Robert out there. Men who would kill and kill again. The heaviness of it sat on her shoulders, a burden that would never be removed no matter how hard she worked.

Laura looked at Eric, and actually saw him for what was probably the first time. A young, eager, enthusiastic agent. A man who wanted to make a difference and had signed up to risk his life for it. Because that was how almost all of them were, at the start. Thinking they were going to save the world and all the people in it, and be a hero, and maybe have a biopic made about them one day. Until they got put into a situation like this and had to actually risk themselves, which was the point when most agents realized they could admit to themselves they were actually in it for the money and the glory.

But Special Agent Eric Won had made it through that moment, and he’d done so as a hero. Coming to her aid, walking right into danger, and then fighting off a serial killer to save her. She’d saved him, in turn, but that didn’t negate what he had done. She owed him her life. If it wasn’t for his distraction, she never would have been able to get free.

For that reason, at least, she figured she could drop her ridiculous grudge against him for the simple crime of not being Nathaniel Lavoie.

“Thank you,” she said. “For coming when I asked you to. If you hadn’t arrived, I’m sure it would have ended much more badly.”

Eric nodded, but there was a humbleness in it. “I’m just sorry I didn’t pick up the phone when you rang,” he said. “I was off chasing down a wild goose, as it turned out.”

Laura sighed, mentally telling herself she had to give him at least some praise. “At least you were chasing,” she said. “I can see how much this job means to you. How seriously you take it.”

“I’ve just been a bit… overzealous, haven’t I?” he said, scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish expression. The sling holding his other arm in place, to stop him from aggravating his shoulder injury, shifted as he did so. He looked rather worse for wear, with a splint on his nose and bruising around one of his eyes, underscored by an angry-looking cut on his lip. “I’m sorry about that.”

Laura chuckled lightly, shaking her head. There was a kind of odd feeling in the back of her skull, where Robert had hit her. Like pain should be there, but she just couldn’t feel it thanks to whatever they had given her. The EMTs had checked her over and told her she was fine for now, but that she had to rest as much as possible and go in for a CT scan before flying home. She wasn’t looking forward to the trip to the hospital. She just wanted to be at home, curled up in bed.

“You’ll be alright,” she said. “You’ll learn the ropes and make a good agent of yourself. And now you’ve got an impressive war wound to show off if anyone ever questions your investigative style.”

“I hope I’ll learn some more of them from you,” Eric said, with a look of affection that was wholly unexpected. It was like he was looking up to her – as a possible friend, maybe a mentor. But then, going through something like this could bond two people. Laura supposed she couldn’t be surprised by it. “I’d like to be partnered up again sometime in the future. I get the feeling there’s a lot more you could have taught me this time, too, if I’d been listening more.”

Laura smiled, giving a modest wave of her hand. “At least you’ve figured that much out,” she joked.

“I’ve just heard from the team at the hospital!” Detective Waters had bounded up beside Eric, making Laura turn and squint at him. She was so tired. And she probably should have gone for that scan and everything else earlier, but she’d wanted to stay and make sure everything was wrapped up here. “Cherry Mackintosh is awake and well. She’s just recovering from the after-effects of the chloroform, and she should be back to normal completely. No lasting injuries.”

“That’s excellent news,” Laura said, resting her heavy head against the inner wall of the ambulance. “Thank you, Detective Waters.”

“Thank you,” he said, fervently. “I don’t know what we would have done if you guys hadn’t come out here.”

“Just doing our jobs,” Laura told him, smiling faintly. She could really do with a rest.

“I think we should probably get to the hospital, now,” Eric said, casting around for the EMT who had stayed with them to check over their wounds in person. “Don’t you think so, Agent Frost?”

“Sure,” Laura agreed breezily, letting the flow happen around her. She was sure it wouldn’t hurt if she just closed her eyes for a few minutes.

***

Laura took another sip of her coffee, nodding into it. The chintzy music playing in the restaurant felt like it was wrapping around her, like a blanket, soothing away the awfulness of the story she’d just told.

“Seriously?” Chris said, shaking his head in wonder again. “I can’t believe it. You were only gone for a few days. Your life is so…”

“Please don’t say exciting,” Laura grimaced. A week of bed rest after coming home from California had been the very opposite of exciting. She’d even had to skip her weekend with Lacey, much to her dismay. But at least it had given her the chance to think about a few priorities – and reorganizing this date with Chris had been one of them.

“I was going to say eventful,” he replied, raising his eyebrows. “You could have died. I know first-hand how serious head injuries can be.”

“I thought you were a cardiologist,” Laura teased.

Chris rolled his eyes playfully. “I still had to do rounds when I was a resident,” he said.

“Do you remember that far back?” Laura retorted, immediately wondering if she’d pushed it too far. But he only laughed incredulously, setting his own coffee cup back in the saucer and shaking his head at her.

“Are you calling me old, Ms. Frost?” he asked. “I don’t know if you got that, but that’s a doctor thing – I just called you ‘Ms.’ because you’re too also old for me to assume you’re a Miss.”

“How cutting,” Laura said, clutching her heart in mock pain with a grin that didn’t quite match. She was glad he could give as good as he got. She’d already worked out that Chris was only a handful of years older than her but being able to joke around together was important. Especially if this first date was going to lead to a second.

And it showed her something else, too. That he wasn’t his brother. She’d already known that, yes, but any lingering doubts she had were getting smaller and smaller the more time they spent together. He looked nothing like John, he spoke nothing like John, and he didn’t act like him, either. John would probably have cracked a wine glass in his fingers at being disrespected like that. Even if he had restrained himself under public scrutiny, Laura was sure that there would have been a flash of rage in his eyes, a warning for later when they were alone.

But Chris just laughed and smiled along with her, and Laura felt that reassurance settling into her chest more and more with each moment.

“Here’s your check, sir, madam.” That was the waiter, who had reappeared beside their table with the kind of fleet-footed silence that you expected in a nice restaurant like this. A restaurant which Laura still felt was far, far too nice for someone like her to be sitting in – but Chris had insisted that it was his treat. She wasn’t sure how to feel about the possibility of getting used to that.

Chris turned to the waiter with a smile. “Thank you.” When the man was gone, Chris picked up his coffee cup again and studied it briefly. “Though it will be a shame to get out of here. I’ve had a good night.”

“So have I,” Laura admitted. She smiled as their eyes met, then found herself actually blushing a little. Like she was a schoolgirl or something. She hadn’t met eyes with a man and blushed like that since back when she started dating Marcus.

Given how that marriage had worked out, she wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not.

“We should do it again,” Chris said, with a kind of put-on casual air that was transparent, showing his nervousness underneath. “Next week, maybe, after the girls have their play date on the weekend.”

“Sounds good to me,” Laura said, finishing her coffee and setting it down. “That is, assuming there isn’t another killer out there who wants to ruin my social life for the second time in a row.”

Chris laughed, but then his expression fell. “Was that serious?”

“Only slightly,” Laura said, shaking her head ruefully. “Unfortunately, it’s a reality of the job. I do sometimes have to leave at the drop of a hat, and I can be gone for days or even weeks in some cases.”

“Well,” Chris sighed, tilting his head in a kind of shrug. “I guess, having a doctor’s schedule, I can’t really complain about that.”

“No,” Laura smiled. “You can’t.”

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Chris said, then paused. “Unless you think that’s a bit too old-fashioned?”

“Not too old-fashioned at all,” Laura said, even though it was a little bit – because she also thought it was a sweet gesture, and maybe it was about time she spent time with a man who wanted to treat her like a lady. She stood, picking up her purse while he waited for her to settle it on her shoulder. He stepped aside to let her lead the way, even though he was in front of her. She walked through the restaurant and outside with the feeling of him behind her all the way, like a physical presence even though he wasn’t touching her. It sent an itch down her spine that she badly wanted him to scratch.