‘I’m not looking for compliments—’ she cut across him ‘—I’m just telling you I don’t know how to play these games, if that’s what they are.’
He was annoyed, even though already he knew he had to acknowledge the truth of her words. But he didn’t play games. That wasn’t who he was. ‘I’m not—’ he began, only to fall silent as she shook her head.
‘Whatever it is. You sought me out on the plane, spoke to me as if...’ She bit her lip. ‘And then in the dressing room, for a moment I... I thought you were going to kiss me.’ A rosy blush touched her cheeks but to her credit she held his gaze. ‘But last night you seemed annoyed, and this morning you seem angry. I know I’m probably naïve, but you’re making my head spin, and not in a good way. I don’t know if you’re giving me attention as some sort of...of pity but, whatever it is, I don’t want it.’ She turned back to the window. ‘So, if you don’t mind, could you please just go back to ignoring me all the time? It’s much easier.’
Alessandro was silent, shocked and more than a little shamed by her dignified speech. He had been sending mixed signals, he knew, mainly because he felt so conflicted within himself. He didn’t want to feel anything for her...and yet he did. That fact was as undeniable as it was irritating. He barely knew her. He didn’t need the distraction. He didn’t want the temptation. The risk.
The limo had pulled up to the discreet bistro Alessandro had texted and neither of them spoke as he helped her out of the limo and then they walked into the restaurant.
‘You’re right,’ he finally said when they were seated at a secluded table in the corner, menus to hand. She deserved his honesty, at the very least. ‘I’m sorry. I have been feeling...conflicted.’
‘About me?’ Her lips twisted. ‘Funny, that doesn’t really make me feel any better.’
‘I am attracted to you,’ he stated baldly. Her eyes widened, her lips parting soundlessly. He found he enjoyed the colour that flared into her face. ‘But I don’t want to be. And that has nothing to do with you.’
She glanced down at her menu, mainly, he suspected, to hide her expression. ‘Doesn’t it?’ she asked quietly.
‘How could you think it did?’
She shrugged, her gaze remaining downcast. ‘I’m not exactly about to set the world on fire, am I?’ She looked up, trying to smile, determined to be pragmatic, and Alessandro’s heart twisted with sympathy. Why did she hold herself in such low esteem? Had she lived in Ella’s laughing shadow for too long, or was there something else that had made her doubt herself? He hated the idea that she saw herself like that, but he surely wasn’t the man to help her in that regard. ‘I never thought I was, you know,’ she said softly.
‘Falling for someone who sets the world on fire hardly holds any appeal for me,’ he told her, keeping his tone wry. ‘But this is not about your lack of anything, Liane, but rather a...a discernment in me. I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone. So if I’ve been sending mixed signals, that’s why.’
She stared at him for a moment, her head cocked to one side, her gaze considering, her cheeks still pink. ‘Why don’t you?’
‘Because I’ve seen the damage romantic attachments can do. Broken hearts and ruined lives hold no appeal for me, and happily-ever-afters only belong in fairy tales. You said you didn’t believe in the fairy tale,’ he reminded her, ‘although I suspect that you really do. But I don’t. Not at all.’ If he hoped that to be the end of the conversation, he was to be disappointed.
‘You don’t have to believe in fairy tales to pursue a romantic relationship,’ Liane pointed out. ‘Not,’ she added quickly, ‘that that’s what I’m suggesting. I’m just making a point. You’re taking it to extremes, surely—’
‘By romantic I mean falling in love,’ he stated. Better to get it all out in the open. ‘I am not at all interested in loving someone or being loved back.’ Risking hurting or being hurt. He’d seen it all with his parents, the endless cycle of despair and futility, with him at the centre. He had no desire to experience the like again. ‘Shall we order?’
‘But...’ Liane stared at him for a moment, confusion clouding her eyes until realisation dawned and her mouth twisted. ‘Ah, of course. You have...other...relationships, don’t you? Affairs?’ She flung the word at him, her face turning fiery.
Alessandro inclined his head in the briefest of nods. ‘I’ve had certain agreeable arrangements in the past,’ he admitted. ‘But, returning to my main point, I apologise for sending out mixed signals, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to clear the air. We can now consider the matter settled.’ And he would, he vowed, steer clear of her from now on. He’d been foolish to seek her out so much as it was. He was aggrieved to realise he didn’t possess the self-control to remain sensible in her presence. Better not to seek her out at all, to ignore her completely, just as she’d said.
The waiter returned and they gave their orders, lapsing into silence as soon as he’d left. The air, Alessandro thought ruefully, didn’t feel very clear at all.
‘Why not me?’ Liane asked finally, a quaver in her voice, and Alessandro blinked at her.
‘Why not you?’ he repeated, raising his eyebrows. ‘Why not you what?’
‘Why not consider me for one of your arrangements?’ Her chin tilted up. ‘I never asked for you or anyone to fall in love with me. I told you I don’t believe in the fairy tale, even if you doubt me. You have no-strings affairs,’ she stated, her voice so very matter-of-fact, even if it possessed a tremble, ‘so why not consider me?’