Hadley winced. “Oh God, is that how I’m coming off? No. Please don’t think that I think that. I’m just surprised, is all. I didn’t know he was seeing anybody at all, and I definitely would not have expected him to pick a single mom.” She closed her eyes. “There I go, sticking my foot in it again. There is nothing wrong with single moms. It’s just ours was one, and it was… complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
The bright blue eyes that were so like her brother’s fixed on Cayla. “Has Holt told you anything about what it was like for us growing up?”
“Just that he raised you. He didn’t get into specifics about why.” And she’d wondered more than a little about that.
Hadley blew out a breath. “We’re gonna need fortification for this conversation.”
Pulse quickening at the prospect of having her curiosity satisfied, Cayla determined to do what she could to smooth the conversation. “It’s way too early for alcohol, but I’ve got a pint of Karamel Sutra in the freezer.”
Her eyes crinkled, her smile flashing much more readily than Holt’s usually did. “A Ben and Jerry’s woman. I like your style.”
They settled in the kitchen with bowls of ice cream.
Hadley crossed those enviably long legs and stabbed in her spoon. “So, we didn’t have what you could call a great childhood. Our dad split right after I was born, and our mom was… devastated. I don’t have any memories of him myself. Holt says he was no great prize. You know how some women just can’t be alone? Like they’re not complete without being attached to some guy? That was our mom. She was needy and clingy and, quite frankly, she couldn’t hack it as a grownup, let alone as a parent. When she was in a relationship, she was happy, and she put all her attention there. When those inevitably failed—because she had complete shit taste in men—she fell into the bottle. Either way, her focus was never on us.”
Hadley’s delivery was matter-of-fact, but the image she painted absolutely bruised Cayla’s heart. She couldn’t imagine not putting Maddie first.
“So, Holt stepped in. He made sure I was fed and clothed, and got to school on time. He saw that the bills were paid—when she actually held down a job and there was money to pay them—and he did what was necessary so we could make ends meet when there wasn’t, so social services didn’t come knocking. He changed the diapers, handled the nightmares, and kissed the scraped knees. And he learned basically every Disney song ever written because it was the only thing that would distract me and calm me down when Mom was on a bender or fighting with her latest boyfriend.”
Tears slid down Cayla’s cheeks, and a warm weight settled on her knee. BB looked up at her with soulful brown eyes. She indulged her need for comfort by stroking those velvet-soft ears. “Sounds like he was an amazing brother.”
“He was my fucking rock. But he was a parent from the time he was seven years old. He never said a word of complaint, but I wasn’t blind. I knew that wasn’t what he wanted. No kid wants that life. That responsibility. So the moment I was old enough to be out on my own, when I had a job and a safe place to stay, I told him it was his turn to do what he wanted. He enlisted. And I don’t have any doubt he’d still be out there if that IED hadn’t taken his foot and robbed him of his career. He never talked about retiring, settling down. The whole wife and family track wasn’t on his radar. He already did the parent thing with me, so I’m just surprised to find him in this situation, is all.”
No wonder he’d spent so much effort trying to resist their attraction. Of course, after that total lack of a childhood, he wouldn’t actively choose to have an instant family. If not for Arthur, they’d never have gotten here. What the hell did that say about them?
Hadley laid a hand on hers. “Please don’t take that as any sort of criticism against you or your daughter. If you make him happy, that’s the only thing that matters to me. And from everything I’ve seen, you do. I’ve never seen my brother look at another woman like he was looking at you today.”
Oh, Cayla didn’t doubt he had affection for her and Maddie both, and the attraction was a hundred percent real. But it was early days yet. So far, their unconventional marriage had been filled with mostly the easy and the fun. What happened when real life set in? When the daily grind and inevitable frustrations got to him, reminding him of all those responsibilities he’d finally been able to shed once before? She’d thought he’d have reason to regret their hasty marriage, and it looked like she was right. How long did they have before their little bubble of happiness burst and he wanted out?
The idea of it made her stomach curdle.
Hadley’s face twisted in distress. “I’m so sorry. I’ve upset you. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No. No, I’m glad you did.” She spooned up more ice cream but didn’t actually taste it. “It’s just…” Should she say anything? Holt hadn’t told his sister about their marriage. Cayla didn’t get the sense it was because he didn’t trust her.
Hadley’s eyes went wide. “Oh God. Are you pregnant? Was that why the big rush?”
“Pregnant?” Cayla’s hand instinctively went to her belly, remembering the life she’d carried there. For a moment, the yearning for another was so strong, it stole her breath. She forced a laugh. “No. Definitely not pregnant. But you’re right. There’s more to our marriage than a simple elopement. We’re… complicated.”
They’d both wiped out the ice cream by the time Cayla finished explaining how her marriage to Holt had come about.
“Oh, that makes total sense. That’s exactly the kind of thing my brother would do. He’s got that hero streak that’s fifteen miles wide. I guess that’s why he didn’t tell me.”
Because it’s not a real marriage.
Hadley didn’t say it, but the implication was there. And that just made Cayla feel worse. Every doubt she’d harbored from the moment she’d said “I do” came back four-fold. Things were great between them right now, but that didn’t mean it would stay that way. She understood that once Arthur was dealt with, once Maddie was safe, she’d have to let Holt go. His sister had, when the time had come. How could Cayla be selfish and ask any more of him than he’d already given?
* * *
“Okay,Bumblebee, it’s time to get ready for bed.”
Maddie and Hadley shot twin expressions of pleading Holt’s way. “Noooo.”
He couldn’t hold back the smile. The two of them had been smitten with each other almost at first sight. No surprise there. Maddie reminded him so much of Hadley at that age. At least Hadley in her more carefree moments.
Cayla added her parental backup. “Sorry, Munchkin. School tomorrow. Say goodnight to Aunt Hadley.”
Something was wrong. Holt could feel it. She’d been her usual charming, friendly self all afternoon and evening. Affectionate to him, to Maddie. The consummate hostess and friend during the celebratory dinner with everyone for the grand opening. The event planner who totally had all her shit together as she continued to discuss Brax and Mia’s upcoming vow renewal. The excited friend when Mia offered to swing by tomorrow to help with some stuff at Cayla’s office. But he knew something was off.
There hadn’t been a moment to get her alone to talk to her, and his oblique query about whether she’d heard something more from Raynor had been met with a headshake, which could’ve as easily meant “Not now” as “No.”
Happy as he was to see Hadley, he was ready to wrap this evening up so he could talk to his wife.
Maddie scuffed her toe on the carpet, frowning. “Stupid school. I miss all the fun things.”
Hadley crouched down to her level. “I’ve got to go home tomorrow, but I promise I’ll be back to visit. And we’re totally going to talk on the computer, okay?”
“Okay!” Maddie threw herself into some kind of complicated handshake-fist bump routine. When had she had time to learn that?
The two of them exchanged big bear hugs, then Cayla took Maddie off to start the bath routine.
It was the first time he’d had a chance to talk to Hadley alone since she’d arrived. Wanting to give Cayla time to get fully engaged in bath time, he started off with brotherly picking.
“So what have you been doing hanging out with Cash?” He and Cash Grantham went way back, before the Army. He’d known Hadley as a kid, been there to help bail her out of her rebellious teen years. But Holt hadn’t known the two of them had stayed in touch.
His sister shrugged. “He came in to get some fresh ink. I’m working on a half sleeve for him. We got to talking, and he’s the one who brought up that you’d eloped, wanting to know what I thought about the whole thing.”
Holt hadn’t asked for any kind of NDA. He’d trusted his buddy had enough discretion as a security expert not to run his mouth. But he also hadn’t expected Cash to be seeing anybody to whom the news would mean anything. “What else did he say?”
“He clammed the hell up when he found out that I didn’t know anything. So I got my ass on a plane and came out here.” Annoyance sharpened her tone. “The bigger question is why you didn’t tell me yourself.”
“That’s complicated.”
“Not so complicated. Cayla told me about her ex. It’s a good thing, what you’re doing for them.”
Holt shook off the compliment. He didn’t like looking at his marriage as the protection detail it had started as. “What did you say to her?”
“What are you talking about?”