"Ah... yes." Giving the other woman a sheepish look, Cynthia shrugged her shoulders. Normally she wasn't so loose-tongued, but Eleanor made her feel comfortable in a way that she'd never experienced before; it was just so easy to talk to her. "I was curious about the Earl, he acts so differently around me than his brothers described."
"The Earl..." Eleanor repeated, as if tasting the words and debating whether or not she found them to her liking. "It's so hard to think of him like that... We grew up together. My brother Hugh, Edwin and Wesley. Out of all of them, Wesley's changed the least I think. At least, I thought that until I saw how stuffy he was being yesterday." She laughed again. "He was certainly playing the Earl in front of you. I wonder why."
The intelligence in those bright, searching blue eyes belied the old adage that beauty came without brains. Not that Cynthia had ever subscribed to that belief anyway, since she knew very well that she was considered beautiful and she had never thought of herself as anything but rather clever.
"We ah... may not have had the best introduction." Unable to help it, Cynthia giggled conspiratorially, leaning in to tell Eleanor about running into Wesley in the street. Under the other woman's excited urgings, she even told her about Mr. Carter, at which point Eleanor's face grew more solemn.
"I've heard of him..." she murmured, sitting up straight with a rather worried expression. "He doesn't have a very good reputation."
"The Countess told me," Cynthia said with a shrug. "But he's never done more than kiss me. And a bit of… touching... above my waist," she added hastily, seeing Eleanor's shocked expression. "It's just... it's so very exciting."
"I can imagine," Eleanor said, a little smile of fellow feeling crossing her face before she turned serious again. "But, it's so much better to have that excitement with someone who truly cares about you. Someone whom you can trust."
It was true that it was sometimes tiresome to put off Mr. Carter, and the other gentlemen that Cynthia had kissed, from further importunities. Of course, that was half the fun, letting them convince or seduce her into going just a bit farther. But so far she hadn't met any that she could truly lose her head to, not the way she read about in novels or heard whispered about from the maids. Perhaps trust was the missing ingredient? After all, if she trusted a man, then she wouldn't feel the need to constantly keep an eye on where
his hands were going.
"And Lord Hyde? He cares about you? You find this... excitement with him?"
Lady Hyde blushed and hesitated.
"I'm sorry, I know it's personal..." Cynthia put on her wounded bird look. "It's just that I don't have anyone else to ask. I certainly can't ask the Countess, she'd probably faint."
The look Eleanor gave her said that she didn't buy Cynthia's false despair at all, but there was no denying that she couldn’t ask the Countess such questions. "He does. I'm fairly certain he does." A faint flush grew in her cheeks. "And I trust him, I always have, since I was a girl. Before we married, I thought to find a man... I thought my ideal husband would be very different from him. But now I can't imagine being married to anyone else. I wouldn't want to be."
"And... and what do you do with him?" Cynthia asked, her insides curdling with excitement. She'd never spoken to anyone with the warm, wistful expression that Eleanor had now. Someone who was willing to explain some of the intricacies between a man and a woman with her. All the Countess would tell her was what she shouldn't do, and while disobeying that had led to some fascinating discoveries, there was quite a bit that Cynthia was curious about, but which she wanted some more information on before exploring on her own. "Does he touch you on your quim? Men are always wanting to touch me there... it feels wonderful when I do it on my own, but what would I do if I got with child?"
"Good God..." Eleanor stared at her and Cynthia shrank into herself, suddenly worried that she'd ruined their friendship by saying too much. What would Eleanor think of her now? Would she disapprove and pull away? Cynthia waited on tenterhooks, horribly afraid now that she'd exposed herself. She didn't think she could bear it if Eleanor rejected her now. The other woman's lips closed and then twitched in something like amusement and Cynthia found that she could suddenly breathe a little easier. "This is really... these are things that should be discussed before your wedding night. And you absolutely should not let any gentlemen touch your... your quim. You've ah... you've touched it yourself?"
"Oh yes," Cynthia said cheerfully, reassured that Eleanor was not going to boot her from the drawing room. "Mother told me not to, you see. And it's quite lovely. I've thought about letting a gentleman touch me there, to see if it’s different, but I don't want to get with child."
"That won't, but you shouldn't let them touch you there anyway. Once they do they might try to go further, and if they put their... um, their rod into your quim then you will get with child," Eleanor said rather sternly.
"Their rod?"
Eleanor blushed and gestured to her groin area. "Men have a... a rod where a woman has a quim."
"Oh, you mean a cock."
This time Eleanor burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her hands as Cynthia stared at her, slightly confused. The amusement was contagious though, and she found herself smiling. It was a rather absurd conversation, as well as wonderfully revealing. And she'd learned a new word.
"You are the most... confusing mix of innocence and too much knowledge," Eleanor said when her giggles finally subsided, although she was still smiling rather widely. "It's bound to get you into trouble. How do you know what a cock is?"
"Mr. Carter told me when I asked what was pressing against me so hard when we kissed."
"Good grief," Eleanor said, rolling her eyes. "He sounds like a complete scoundrel, he shouldn’t have said that at all. That word is rather ah... crude. You really shouldn't allow him to touch you though, even if it won’t get you with child. I know the Countess has asked Wesley to find you a husband, and once he has then you can explore to your heart's content."
"What about my mouth? Will that get me with child?"
"Your mouth?"
Cynthia found herself enjoying shocking Eleanor. There was a quality of delight, as much as some disapproval, in the other woman's reactions. And she didn't condemn Cynthia, or tell her absolutely not to do something - Eleanor was obviously intelligent enough to realize that the word 'don't' had a rather motivating effect on Cynthia, somehow "shouldn't" didn't engender quite the same response - but she explained things in such a manner to make Cynthia think more about what she was doing. It was also exciting to know that she knew a few more things than a properly married lady did.
"Yes, Mr. Carter suggested that I might put his co- ah... rod, into my mouth and that he would find that quite pleasurable."
To her delight, Eleanor looked very much struck by the notion. "Why... I have no idea."
"Better not risk it then," Cynthia said musingly.