Dealing With Discipline (Domestic Discipline 2)
Page 37
If she was pregnant with his child, his heir, then perhaps the smartest thing to do would be to leave the city with Grace, if Grace left, and then she could have Edwin’s heir without the constant emotional highs and lows that living in the same house as Edwin caused her. No one would be able to say that she had denied Edwin his rights, the way they spoke of Grace. She would do her duty but avoid revealing her vulnerability to her husband. Because she knew that he could easily shatter this new cold exterior, either directly or indirectly by his behavior. He could read her well enough that she couldn’t hide her feelings for him forever if they were residing in the same household.
The best thing to do would be to wait and see if she truly were with child and then escape the city with Grace. Escape this awful one-sided love that threatened to undo everything she’d ever wanted for herself in a marriage.
Escape her fate of turning into her mother.
******
They were going to be returning to London tomorrow and if Irene was going to ride Rex it had to be today. Once they were in London she knew that it would be much harder to find the time and the opportunity to do so, and she didn’t relish the idea of attempting her first ride on the big horse in the hustle and bustle of the city. Although she was sure that she could handle him, eventually, she knew that it was much safer in the country where there was less activity to spook and rile him. Even the most docile horses could have their patience tested in the city where there were so many other people and animals and carriages.
The honeymoon had been lovely, although she was becoming concerned over her growing feelings for Hugh. How could she be in love with two men at the same time? Yet as Hugh had shown her his favorite places on his lands and in the houses they stayed in, as she’d interacted with him every day and lay in his bed every night, her emotions had become more and more tangled. The sparkle in his blue eyes when he was being mischievous or playful set her at ease, the hunger on his face when she disrobed made her heart pound, and every day she worried a little more that the image of Alex’s face in her mind seemed to be fading.
If Alex was on her one true love then that shouldn’t happen… but she didn’t know how to explain it. Perhaps she was like Guinevere with Lancelot and Arthur. Only she couldn’t imagine deserting Hugh to be with Alex, not completely. She enjoyed having him in her life too much.
Eventually she turned her attention to something much simpler – her desire to ride Rex. There were other emotions coiled up in that of course, a desire to show Hugh that he was wrong and she could handle the horse, a desire to prove her skills to both him and herself, and a burgeoning need to run wild and free on the stallion. Something simple and lovely that she would thoroughly enjoy before they returned to London, where Alex was… where her feelings would have been be examined more closely.
After directing the servants in the packing for their return to London, Irene had her maid dress her in a riding gown and snuck out to the stables. Hugh was as busy as her and she hadn’t seen him all morning since they broke their fast so she wasn’t too worried about him stopping her.
Surely once she showed him that she could handle Rex close to the house he would allow her to truly try the stallion’s paces. Standing in front of the magnificent animal’s stall she looked up and actually felt a touch of trepidation. He was much larger than he’d looked from Liberty’s back.
Feeling as though someone was watching her, Irene glanced over her shoulder. Somehow she felt as though her mother was right there watching her with cold, censorious eyes.
“Hello beautiful,” she whispered, turning her attention back to the horse. He whuffled and snorted, tossing his head a bit and she took a step back. Because it was the smart thing to do, not because she was afraid… at least that’s what she told herself. When he calmed down again, eyeing her warily, she gathered her courage and reached out to try and touch his nose.
The horse struck, causing her to stumble backwards as she snatched her hand out of reach of its teeth. Landing heavily on her backside, Irene glared up at the magnificent creature as he whickered. It sounded like he was laughing at her.
Equal parts fear and rebellion, Irene stood up and brushed off her skirts, glaring at him. She was the best horsewoman she knew; she'd seen the way ladies of the ton "rode" in town - if it could even be called that! While she might not have been equal to them in style of dress or quality of jewels and fabrics, she was better than any of them at riding. It was a point of pride with her and she'd never come across a horse than she couldn't master.
Of course it didn't occur to her that she'd never be presented with a horse beyond her skills, because no competent stable master would risk his position that
way. Or that the grooms of this particular stable would have gone running to their master the moment they saw her attempting to approach Rex's stall. It was well known that the devil-horse was a one-man horse; they instinctively knew that Hugh would not approve of his lady-wife getting anywhere near the unruly animal.
For a few minutes he'd been standing just outside the doorway to the stables, watching her, rather amused if aggravated that she'd obviously gone against his wishes. If she’d looked out the door she would have seen him, but her attention was all on Rex. She'd been approaching him intelligently at least, with patience and caution, and Hugh had been sure that she'd realize the error of her ways without his interference. Unfortunately almost getting knocked onto her backside, while entertaining him, had only increased her resolve.
She looked akin to his sister as she approached the stall door again, despite the difference in their complexions and coloring, the stubborn expression on her face was pure Eleanor. Not what Hugh wanted to see, especially now that Rex was already riled up and Irene had passed the point of patience and calm contemplation. He was going to have to intervene before she did something stupid.
Irene almost screamed as an arm wrapped around her waist and swung her away from Rex's stall. The horse stamped his hoof and tossed his head as if in triumph. Spun around, breathless, she found herself looking up into the stern blue eyes of her husband.
Caught.
"What are you doing?" Her voice was shrill, high, as her hands pressed against his chest, trying to push him away. It was like pushing at a stone wall.
One blonde eyebrow arched at her as his lips quirked, almost looking amused before the solemn mien of disapproval descended again. "What are you doing, sweetheart? I seem to specifically recall ordering you to stay away from Rex."
"But I'm a good horsewoman," she said, half-arguing, half-pleading. "You know I am. I just wanted to show you that I can handle him."
"By sneaking around behind my back and approaching him alone? You couldn't even get near enough to open his stall door, much less get a bit in his mouth or a saddle on his back." Hugh's eyes darkened as he looked down at his wife, not at all liking the rebellious tilt to her mouth. "You lost your temper just now and tried to approach him again, without even considering the fact that his temper is short as well. You could have been seriously injured, do you not realize that?"
The sparks in her eyes said that she was unpleased with his assessment and that just made his temper come perilously close to the surface.
"Promise me that you'll stay away from him."
"No!" The word was out of her mouth before she had time to think about it. It was the first time in a long time that she had said the word, she was so used to acquiescing to whatever was asked of her. This new independence was both frightening and exhilarating. Hugh loomed over her and she pushed at him again, uselessly. He was almost scary looking and she could feel her heart pounding faster.
"Irene, promise me that you will stay away from him. I won't have you putting yourself in danger." Holding her securely in place with one arm, he cupped her chin with his opposite hand and lifted her gaze to his so that she could see how in earnest he was.
"But I want to ride him," she pleaded, opening her green eyes to their widest advantage. "I can handle him Hugh, I can!"
The muscle in his jaw tightened. "No. If you approach him again I will put you over my knee."