If only she could put her finger on exactly how and why.
"I was surprised to see you still here," she confessed. "I thought by the time we returned from our honeymoon you might have retreated back to the countryside."
"I have no current plans to return to my estate," he said amiably enough. "Not until I finish what I came to the city to do."
"What did you come to the city to do?"
Smiling again, his head tipped down towards hers in the moonlight, he tapped the fingers of his free hand under her chin. The way he used to when they were children and he was teasing her. "Well, pet, one thing was to see my childhood friend married and get to know her husband."
"Oh..." Irene floundered. She didn't quite know how to respond to that. While she loved the idea that she was responsible for his return, that didn't explain why he was still here. Or why he'd want to get to know her husband. Irene definitely did not want Hugh and Alex to become friends, she would much prefer they were kept far away from each other.
While her mother had explained the "way" things were done within Society when it came to extramarital affairs, Irene was astute enough to realize that Alex's sense of honor would not include having a friend's wife as his mistress. No matter that Irene had known him first.
"Were there any other reasons?" she asked, hoping to distract him away from the part that she didn't want him thinking about.
"A few," he said non-committedly, but Irene knew him well enough to see how he withdrew rather than giving her a real answer. She didn't like being closed out. Not at all.
Coquettishly, she shifted closer to him as they walked, snuggling her side against his. Strangely she didn't feel the same excitement that she did when Hugh's arm brushed her breast or when she was pressed against Hugh. No sense of anticipation, no breathless pounding of her heart or tingling between her legs. Irene ignored her body's response. This was Alex, after all, the man she'd loved all her life. Perhaps she just didn't respond that way to him yet because they hadn't been intimate.
To her surprise he frowned down at her. "Are you alright, pet?"
"I'm feeling a bit chilly now that you mention it," she said, tilting her head so that the moonlight could catch her fluttering eyelashes and pouting lips. Tilting her head the way she would for a kiss as he stopped to face her, pressing herself close to him. Warmth suffused her but... none of the expected heat. The lack of it, as well as Alex's apparent confusion as to her intentions - not that they had been great, she had only wanted to plant the idea in his head but the fact that he didn't seem to be getting the message was making her more frustrated and more brazen than she would have normally been. As well as the fact that she now felt as though she had to convince her own body that Alex was what she wanted, that the position of Alex's mistress was one she desired.
"What are you doing Irene?" Alex's obvious confusion, her strange reluctance, and the desire to prove to herself that Hugh was not what she wanted combined into a dangerous determination as she grasped the collar of Alex's jacket. She was no longer thinking about the fact that they were clearly visible in the moonlight, her emotions were wildly out of check and all she could think about was proving to herself and to Alex that she was destined to become his mistress and that they could be happy and in love and together - as together as Society would allow them to be.
******
With a sense of relief, Eleanor watched her brother exit the card room and obviously ask one of the footmen standing nearby for his wife's direction. Everyone in the room knew that Lord Brooke had escorted Lady Harrington to the terrace; it was already the talk of the ton because Lord Brooke never escorted married ladies anywhere even remotely questionable. Despite the acknowledged childhood friendship it was still a juicy enough piece of gossip to cause comment. She watched as Hugh headed towards the terrace, his easy stride giving the ton the verdict that he was going to join his wife and his friend in getting some air.
Nothing at all scandalous.
And she didn't even have to search him out or worry about Grace's warnings. If Irene had, indeed, had ulterior motives for asking Lord Brooke to accompany her for some air, Hugh would put an end to them. She hadn't had to intervene at all.
Her stomach tightened as her own husband followed Hugh in exiting the card room only a minute later. Edwin's dark gaze scanned the room, obviously looking for someone. A woman stepped up to him; from behind Eleanor couldn't recognize her but she saw Edwin bow and kiss her hand. Once again jealousy wracked her, but there was nothing she could do. If the woman was propositioning him she knew that he would say no.
Because he had Eleanor in his bed that night, at his beck and call, passionate and eager. Once again she wondered whether she should continue with her plan to go to Bath. She still had yet to find a traveling companion and she hated the idea that Edwin might be with another woman in her absence. On the other hand, it seemed like the risk she had to take in order to know his heart.
Watching him finish his conversation with the woman and brush past her, his eyes lighting on herself and his smile broadening when she saw her, she felt the inevitable tug to stay by his side. Always.
But she couldn't risk her heart without knowing his. She'd spent her entire life doing whatever she could to prevent ending up in her mother's situation, she wouldn't give that up now.
******
"Irene!"
She found herself forcefully thrust away from Alex as two different and distinct voices said her name. One was appalled and shocked, that was Alex. The other was appalled and furious, and the immediate weakening of her knees and swirling of her senses told her exactly who that other voice belonged to.
The moonlight showed the absolute fury in Hugh's face, it was written in every line of his stance. Next to her Alex was practically vibrating in affront.
Everything had spun so wildly out of control so quickly... Irene's heart was pounding as she thought over the last few minutes and tried to understand herself. What had she been thinking? Had she been thinking at all?
Alex's quick eyes took in what Irene was too shaken to notice and Hugh was too angry to see; the gathering, curious crowd.
"She's faint," he said loudly, his voice carrying. The glance he gave to Hugh was a tiny warning that unless he wanted a serious social scandal, he needed to go along with the cover that was being provided. "Here, you'll need to carry her."
The man she loved passed her off to her husband before Irene could protest. Her knees buckled and she did indeed feel faint when she looked up into Hugh's eyes. In the moonlight they seemed much darker than usual; his features shadowed and unforgiving. Something inside of her clenched.
Then he was sweeping her up in his arms and she became aware of the voices around them. Groaning in mortification, she buried her face in his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck as if she could hide away from the entire world. Herself included.