“Hey, can you come and help?” I look directly at her.
A flash of recognition passes over her face. She must remember me from our conversation a few months ago. The last time I found Daisy in her flat.
“What’s up?” She leans on her door jamb and crosses her arms, looking down at Allegra. “Has that bastard hurt her again?”
“I don’t know what’s happened. All I know is Daisy’s unconscious in there. Can you look after Allegra while I go inside?” When I say her name, Allegra clings on tighter. I have to unclasp her hands finger by finger. I go to move away and she starts to shake, her whole body wracked with shudders.
“Don’t leave her. I’ll go in and check. If that arsehole’s in there I’ll fucking cut him.”
I don’t know what it is about this woman, but I’m impressed by her. She’s fierce, but if she has your back, you’re golden. She doesn’t wait for an answer, just pushes past us into Daisy’s flat. The door swings behind her and Allegra grabs hold of me again, pressing her face against my shoulder as if she’s avoiding looking inside.
We stand on the balcony, clinging onto each other, and listen to the faint wail of sirens in the distance. They’re moving ever closer to the estate. In the moments that follow, bright blue lights flash as an ambulance speeds toward the building, flanked by two police cars. I’m not surprised to see the police are here; this place is too dangerous for the paramedics to come without backup. Only fools like me would make that kind of misjudgement.
* * *
The police make their way to the fourth floor. I notice they’re armed, wearing thick bulletproof vests that remind me of a muscle suit. By this point Allegra has all but collapsed against me. I realise how heavy she is when I try to support all of her weight. Shock has strange effects on people, and with Allegra, it’s sending her to sleep. As if it’s the only way for her to maintain a semblance of sanity. I can empathise with that.
“Can you tell me what happened?” A policeman steps in front of me. He’s an older guy, maybe in his early forties, with one of those faces you want to spill your secrets to. Open and honest.
I hug Allegra a little closer. “She found her mum unconscious on the floor. When she tried to wake her up there was no response. That’s when she called me.”
“She was alone?” His face says it all. The situation is appalling.
“Yes. It’s just the two of them. She’s only been back for a while. Was in care before that.”
“So it’s just her mum in there?”
“No. One of the neighbours has gone in to check on her. She’s from four-ten.” I point at the open door and he nods. It’s interesting, the way he takes everything in. I get the impression he’s noticing a lot more than he lets on. Perhaps he’s weighing up the risks, assessing what the next steps should be. I just wish he would hurry up and get Daisy some help.
“Anything else I should know?”
“She has a boyfriend. He’s a dealer.” I can’t bring myself to say his name. “He went away for a while but I’ve heard he’s back. I don’t know if he’s involved but he isn’t here at the moment.”
It isn’t even worth lowering my voice. Trying to shield Allegra from the cruelty of life is futile. She’s seen everything, heard it all, and been knocked down by reality before she’s even learned to stand.
When the paramedics are given the all-clear, they enter Daisy’s flat, carrying bags and equipment, conferring with the policemen who accompany them inside. I’m immediately struck by the lack of action. There’s no shouting, no running in and out. Such a difference from when I found Daisy beaten up on her bed. That time there was a lot of noise, loud attempts to stabilise her condition, before moving her down to the ambulance and rushing her to hospital.
This time, however, their silence seems ominous, almost unbearable. My heart drops when Daisy’s neighbour finally emerges from the flat, her lips turned down and her eyes barely meeting mine. When I do catch her gaze, she shakes her head slowly and I know for sure what I’ve suspected all along.
Daisy’s gone.
That’s why they aren’t hurrying or shouting, and that’s why there’s no frantic dash to the ambulance as a paramedic covers her mouth with an oxygen mask. There’s no urgency when she’s already left us. Time can run a little slower for the dead
.
Instinctively, I pull Allegra closer. Then the kind-faced policeman walks out, his cap held in his gloved hands. There’s a pale tinge to his face when he comes to a stop in front of us. “Can I have a word?”
I gesture helplessly at Allegra and his expression softens. He seems like the kind of guy who has his own kids. Knows exactly why I’m hesitant. “Maybe Dee can look after the little one?”
I must look confused because he points at Daisy’s neighbour. It takes me a moment to realise she must have a name. Dee. So average and normal for somebody in such a messed-up situation. The banality of her name somehow makes everything feel worse, as though the world is off kilter. I try to shake the feeling off as I pass Allegra to her. She’s barely aware anymore, her consciousness shut down like an overheated computer.
The policeman waits patiently. When I’m free he places his hand on my shoulder, leading me out of Allegra’s earshot.
“Are you a relative?”
“Of Daisy’s? No, we’re friends. Or at least we were.” I frown, recalling the last few weeks. “I work at a drug clinic where she’s being treated.”
Not anymore, the little voice in my head says. I feel myself choke up.