26
David
The air conditioner unit hums back to life. Sweat coats my forehead. I wipe it onto my shirt as Bianca comes up behind me and clears her throat.
“David, can you come with me to assess the damage in four-oh-three? They finally got evicted. Good riddance as far as I’m concerned, but I don’t know what kind of mess they left behind.”
I wipe my hands on the rag in my pocket. “Oh yeah, sure.”
I follow Bianca. She has a soft and small frame, and I can tell she isn’t wearing a bra by the tempting little mounds beneath the fabric of her t-shirt. She’s wearing low-cut jeans, and her hips rock as she walks. Does she do that just for me?
She unlocks the door and steps aside. I walk into the apartment and a god-awful smell hits me. I pull my shirt up over my nose and look back. Bianca scrunches her nose.
“What is that?” She holds her hand up to her face.
I follow the stench and discover the unplugged fridge. The tenants left a fish rotting in there. I survey the rest of the damage. There are cracked tiles, rips in the furniture, and the faucet in the kitchen is broken. Cat poop covers the bathroom, and the litter box overflows onto the floor.
“Jesus, Bianca, I don't even know where to begin. Burning the whole place down might be the easiest.”
She lets out a hearty laugh and reaches into her pocket for a jar of menthol. She puts some into her nostrils and hands me the jar. I mimic her.
“This isn't even the worst I've seen since buying this building, to be honest. We just grab a broom—or a blow torch—and get to work.”
She reaches into the closet and pulls out a cobweb-coated broom.
* * *
Emily
Kevin sleeps turned awayfrom me, snoring. I run my fingers across the scars on his exposed upper arm. I wish I knew how to get him to open up.
Thoughts of David creep into my mind, and my stomach tightens. I make sure Kevin is asleep before reaching my hand into my panties. I try to imagine Kevin touching me, but David’s face is the one I see. I feel his arms around me again, like the day he kissed me with such hunger—the heat of his skin against my own. How his lips tasted. I rock my hips, imagining reaching down and feeling the length of him. I bite my lip and fight back moans as I bring myself to orgasm to the thought of being on my knees in front of David.
Kevin continues snoring. I slip out of bed and go to the coat closet. I pull out a shoe and shake it over my hand. A joint rolls into my palm. I grab a lighter and flick it until the flame dances. The fire wakes up the paper. I puff on one end, and the embers glow before fizzling out. I breathe it in, coughing as I exhale. At least it's not pills. But, god, do I miss that high.
I lie back down with Kevin, his shadow heavy beside me. I like Kevin—I really do—but I don't know that I love him. Or that he truly loves me. When he confesses his affections, he’s disconnected. It’s as if he says the words because he thinks it's what he’s supposed to say. It's either that, or it roars from the depths of him during moments of passion, only for him to grow distant afterwards.
I sleep alone most nights because he forces himself to stay awake. If he rests, the nightmares will consume him. When he gives in to sleep, he awakens with panicked breaths, as if long fingers are wrapped tightly around his neck.
My phone chimes. It’s a text from David.
David: Do you wanna go for lunch tomorrow and catch up? It's been too long.
I take in a sharp breath. I haven’t spent time with him because I’ve been trying to make this work with Kevin. With space from David, I can sort out my feelings. Is there anything between us besides how broken we are? Are we only in love with being each other's refuge? Why am I able to be David's sanctuary when I can’t be Kevin's? Or even my own, for that matter.
Me: Sure, the cafe by the apartment?
I can't say our apartment, and I can't say his apartment, but I miss being in the same universe as David.
* * *
David
I takea sip from my drink.Why are my hands so clammy? I’m just catching up with Emily, that's all. There's no pressure. She only breathed life back into my lungs. No big deal.
Rationalizing with myself isn’t going well. I can’t wait to see her. My excitement is childlike. Actually, I don't remember ever being this excited as a child.
The bell above the door rings. I look toward the sound and see the back of a man's head. Not her. I glance at the time on my phone.
I’m so focused on my phone that I miss the bell as it rings again. I hear Emily's voice and stand, waving my hand above my head. She walks up, and I pull her into me. I wrap my arms around her and nearly knock her off her feet.
“I'm so glad you came,” I say.
Emily looks more sullen than when I last saw her. Her hair is a little longer and is wrapped in a messy bun. I can’t remember ever seeing her out and about with her hair up like that.
“I wouldn't miss it for the world. Sorry, I just threw myself together. Kevin was… just, Kevin all morning.”
She must have noticed that I thought she didn't seem like herself. She runs her fingers through her hair, suddenly self-conscious. She isn’t wearing much makeup, but her pale skin still looks like silk.
She sits down and the waitress brings her a water. Emily orders a Long Island Iced Tea. I look at her with raised eyebrows. She’s never been much of a drinker.
“Are you okay, Em?”
* * *