Epilogue
David
Time ticked by slowly with Emily, as it should have from the beginning. There is no sense of urgency or a rushing urge to escape reality any longer. That’s not the total truth. Every so often, the nagging desire for opiates will wring out my stomach and flood my brain. Emily is an incredible preserve, rescuing me from the waters of addiction and pulling me into the safety of her.
I trace my fingers along small healing bruises on the skin of her thighs and ass. Marks left by my own hands or from something I used as an extension of my hand. She doesn’t flinch at my touch because none of the marks were left in anger, only passion. She’d come as I teetered her on the tightrope between pain and pleasure, as I surged within her while causing an ache in her flesh.
The memories of my past plague me, haunting me from the recesses of my mind. I still see myself as the doped up druggie who hurt her and broke her heart. My focus had been on chasing pleasure, whether it be with drugs or sex, and I almost lost her entirely because of it. I pushed her away and into the arms of another man who would lay his hands on her and crush her self-esteem beneath his shoe. It’s been nearly a year and I am just starting to see Emily emerge from her hollowed shell again. She doesn’t blame me, but I do that enough for the both of us. I will never understand what she sees in me, the way she looks at me as though I am something more than what I am.
She pulls me out of my self-pity with a kiss. I grab her and pull her into me, pressing her body tight against me so that I can feel the thump of her chest against mine. She calms my mind, and I let happiness wash over me like a tidal wave.
“Em…” I whisper against her mouth. “I love you.”
She looks up at me with marbled green eyes. “I love you, David.”
* * *
Emily
The doorbell rings,causing both of us to startle and peel away from each other. I climb out of bed, no longer hiding the parts of me I hate. We dress with haste, unsure who would be at the door this early. The sun has hardly risen, and the birds have just started to scream their happy songs.
My footfalls are quiet on the hardwood floors as I walk toward the door. I can hear David making coffee, the clanking of the pot and the water filling it. I open the door, expecting anything other than what is standing outside of it. It’s Kevin. He seems smaller, his muscles having abandoned his frame. He looks up at me with rich brown eyes, and my lip begins to tremble.
“Who is it?” David asks as he comes up beside me. I instinctively jut my hand out and put it in front of him, knowing he would try to get to him. “You have some nerve coming here!” David yells at Kevin. My arm and his self-restraint hold him back.
Kevin raises his hands. “I don’t want any problems. I just want to talk to Emily.”
“That’s not happening!” David pushes his chest against my arm, his restraint beginning to falter.
I lock eyes with David, his nostrils flaring and his jaw clenching. “It’s fine, David. I’m fine,” I tell him with feigned confidence.
David narrows his eyes at Kevin before taking a step backward. “Fine. Leave the door open.”
David backs away, but only far enough that he could still get to me if needed. I can feel him behind me, the fuming heat emitting from him.
“Emily…” Kevin begins, hesitating for a moment as if gathering his thoughts. “I made a huge mistake.”
“You sure fucking did,” David’s voice says from behind me. I shoot him a look, and he crosses his arms over his chest.
Kevin clears his throat. “Anyway, I just wanted to come and apologize to you. For what happened.”
“I know it wasn’t your fault, Kevin, and I don’t need an apology. I forgave you that day in court,” I tell him with a tight smile. David huffs behind me. It hurts to see Kevin in front of me, weak and tired looking.
“You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it all up,” Kevin said with a defeated drop in his shoulders.
“There’s nothing that can be done about that. We just need to move on from it.”
“Are you guys together now?” he asks me with a curl to his lip.
“I’ve been with David for a while now,” I tell him firmly.
“Oh,” he says with a drawn out exhale.
Did he actually think he could come and win me back? After everything? Even as his hands dangle by his sides, I can still feel them around my throat.
“I appreciate the apology, Kevin. I really do. But it would be best if you didn’t come around here again.” I need him to stay away. What’s worse than knowing the feelings I had for Kevin are gone, is not knowing if they were ever there to begin with.
“I understand,” he says. The corners of his mouth give a quick upward tilt. “Bye.”
His voice trails off as I slam the door and push my back against it with a heaving chest. I slide down the cool metal, trying to catch my breath. My heart races, rising into my throat and suffocating me. Seeing him has caused a tsunami of emotions to rip through me. Memories that make a shiver climb painfully up my spine. Things that I had buried with no intention of unearthing.
David runs over to me and squats down, wiping away tears I didn’t realize were falling. My cheeks are too flushed with heat to feel the fat droplets racing along them. David grabs my arms and helps me to my feet. He drags me to the couch and sets me down.
“Baby girl,” he whispers as he sits beside me and nestles me beneath his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“David...I can’t do this. I can’t do any of this,” my panicked words fall from my lips.
“You have to.” David grabs my chin and raises my gaze to him, letting his gray eyes bore into mine.
“We are living in a delusional fantasy if we think we can live a perfect, happy life,” I exclaim through free falling tears. “After everything that’s happened to both of us!”
He grabs my shoulders, shaking them just enough to grip my hand and catch me as I begin an emotional free fall.
“Emily, it has always been you,” he says to me. His words are passionate and fiery. “It has been you since the moment I met you in school. You have been on my mind no matter who I’ve tried to be with. I know that you thought of me when you were with him, too.”
“You don’t know that,” I say defiantly.
“I do know that, and with pretty good certainty. Emily, you are just like me. And you have always been mine.” He grabs my hands, pulling me into him and onto his lap. He brushes back my hair, wet with tears. “I fucked and got high to try to hide what I felt for you. Because I truly believed you were better off without me.”
“I wasn’t.” I sob into his neck.
He reaches for my face and pulls me away from him, looking into my eyes with intensity. “I know you weren’t. And I was no good without you. I know that now.” He kisses me. “If I could take it all back, as far back as I can remember, I would have made you mine from the start. I would have kept every fucking thing wrong from happening to you. I never would have let you go to that party. Shit, I wouldn’t have even needed to go to those parties. You wouldn’t have met Kevin. Well, you might have met him, but my cock would have been all you needed.” He smirks at me, and it makes me laugh for a moment. “I don’t believe in soul mates and shit, but you’re who my heart beats for. And I got tired of trying to fight against its rhythm. I fucking love you, Emily.”
He kisses me with passion, letting his lips calm my doubt, washing it away like writing in the sand. Our story was written in blood and is washed away with the tide, leaving nothing but smooth sand in its place.
“I love you, David.”