Kat
After Billy stormed off, I put on my clothes, climbed out of the hay loft, and looked around, wondering where he went. When he was nowhere to be found, I went back to the house and saw that his truck was gone. I thought to myself, what am I doing?Why am I doing this to myself? I knew that when we were making love, he was with me. I felt him connected to my soul, but obviously, it was too much for him. And I wasn’t strong enough to go through this with him a second time. So, rather than wait around, I texted June, asked her to send the car, and spent the evening eating take-out and watching Family Feud with her and Marcus at the Dew Drop Inn.
Marcus had planned for us to leave Montana at noon. I changed that itinerary as soon as I became aware of it. We were leaving around midnight. There was no way I was missing Sarah’s show at Sadie’s. I told her I’d be there. Billy knew that, so he could make the decision to be there or not. That wasn’t my business. The one thing I had learned in Conway was that I was connected to the Morgans, particularly Sarah, and my screwed-up past with Billy was not going to stop me from caring for them.
I decided to bring Marcus and June with me to Sarah’s gig. It was childish. The non-Billy Morgans were like family, but somehow, having my people with me felt right. Also, Marcus was concerned that people in town had gotten wind of the fact that I was around, so a public appearance might require some interference. I couldn’t imagine Conwayans all worked up over seeing me. I mean, everywhere else in the world, I was a celebrity, but in Conway, wasn’t I just a real person—Kat, the girl who liked to sing, lived with her momma, slung pie at Hazel’s, and spent all her free time with Billy Morgan? They all knew who blue-eyed beau was and they never told a single reporter. I couldn’t picture them asking for autographs at Sadie’s. But I trusted Marcus, and being a celebrity was weird, so it was no harm having him on guard.
We pulled up to Sadie’s at 6:00 pm. Sarah went on at 6:30. I scanned the parking lot for Billy’s truck. I wanted to be stronger than my feelings for him, but my stomach dropped when I realized he wasn’t there. A big piece of my heart thought he’d come riding in, all apologies, and tell me fear had gotten the best of him the day before, but maybe not.
Billy wasn’t there, but a tall cowboy with long dirty blond hair and a dark beard was getting out of his truck just a few spaces over. A smile spread across my face. It was Luke. I jumped out of the SUV, with Marcus hollering behind me, and ran towards Luke.
“Patty!” I hollered. It was a nickname from when we were kids. Luke was a vegetarian. Wouldn’t eat a steak or a hamburger because he said he couldn’t get the heifer’s sweet eyes out of his head. So, when you’re a vegetarian with parents who own a beef ranch, and your brothers are consummate jerks, your nickname becomes Hamburger Patty, Patty for short. Luke turned in my direction and I jumped into his arms. We hugged tight. Luke was taller and leaner than Billy, but still a bulk of a man.
When we broke apart, he was smiling as wide as me. “What’s up, shortstack?” he asked. “I heard you were in town. Thought I might have missed you.”
“Never,” I said, and he lifted his eyebrows at me, questioning the reality of my comment. I clarified, “Never again.”
“Really?” he asked. “Are we finally going to see more of you around here?”
I faltered, not sure how to answer him. Then, I decided to tell the truth. “I would love that. I would love to see more of all of you, but Billy and I …” I let the sentence drop, leaving the ugly to the imagination.
Luke leaned back and rested against the door of his truck. “Bill and you are stupid. It’s been ten years—either move on or move in, Kat.”
I shook my head at him, then looked at my feet. “It’s complicated.”
He eyed me for a second, shook his head, and then laughed, “Fools.”
I was a touch offended. “There’s a lot of water under that bridge. It doesn’t just go away.”
He put his left arm around me and started us towards the door to Sadie’s. “Usually, gets worse when you screw without dealing with it, too.” My head snapped up and to the right to look at his face. How did he know that? He answered my question without me asking it. “You looked at your feet when you were trying to hide your sexcapades when we were kids, too.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, but my voice was tight and sad, even a stranger would have known that sleeping with Billy was a lot more than nothing to me
He huffed out some air and then said, “Kit-Kat, my brother is a shadow of himself since the day you left. It’ll never be nothing.”
I changed the subject. “Heard you're engaged.”
He looked sheepish for a second and then grinned. “She’s awesome. Funny, sexy. I mean the whole package. She might come by tonight.”
“I’d love to meet her.”
“You’ll spot her right away. She’s got blue hair.”
“Wait! I saw her. The day I came to town. She’s gorgeous, Luke. Cooler than Conway, though.”
He laughed and pulled open the door for me. Sadie’s was the same as always. A dark, saloon-like space that you might not want to see in the daylight for fear that it was dirtier than you realized. We made our way over to Marcus and June who were standing with Wyatt. Right before we got there, Luke said, “Being honest?”
“Yes, of course.” I thought he was going to say something else about Billy.
But instead, he said, “That last album was crap.”
It was. I knew it the whole time. I hated the producer. I hated the music. I had nothing I wanted to write about. I forced it and it showed. And somehow, I still felt bad when it got panned. But I shouldn’t have. I should know better than to write music on demand. I had to be inspired. I smiled at Luke. “Totally.”
“Where’s Bill?” Wyatt asked, looking around behind me as if he expected us to show up together.
Luke shrugged. Wyatt looked at me. I could see that he was hopeful that I’d know. “Why would I know?” I asked.
Wyatt’s face fell. “Well, shit,” he said. “Thought I had that one in the bag.”
Cody approached, clearly coming from helping Sarah get set up. He put his hand out to Wyatt. “Twenty bucks, loser.”
I looked between the two of them. “Did you two bet on whether Billy and I would come here together?”
Luke sucker-punched Wyatt in the arm and then he looked to Marcus and pointed to Cody. “Could you punch that one for me?”
“What?” Wyatt teased, rubbing his bicep. “It was a good bet. No one got hurt and it could go either way.” I rolled my eyes at him. “At least I was on the side of love,” he argued, and pointing to Cody, said, “He bet on a future of continued forlornness. He’s the real jerk if you ask me.”
Wyatt was all jest. And I wasn’t angry. I just felt sad. And it must have shown on my face because suddenly, he was crossing the circle of people we were talking to and crushing me to his chest in a big bear hug. “Oh shit, Kat. I’m sorry. He’s an idiot.”
Cody lifted his glass. “To my eldest brother, the idiot who let the prettiest, most talented, kindest, most spirited woman to ever come out of Conway, Montana get away—may he always know we like her better than him.”
I laughed through my tears.
Luke said, “You were ours too. He took you away from us.”
“I’m still pissed,” said Wyatt.
“Me too,” echoed Cody.
Their love fest for me was interrupted by Sarah stepping up to the microphone. I turned towards her and so did her brothers, Marcus, and June. Sarah looked beautiful, even with no makeup. Her long chestnut hair was free-flowing down her back, she was wearing a cream-colored blouse, jeans, and a pair of purple cowboy boots, which I knew had belonged to her mom. I dreamed about owning those boots when I was a teenager. I was glad Sarah had them.
Sarah started the set with a song. It was obviously an original, and it was good. When I left, she was still a girl and her voice was the voice of a child, but now she had a moody jazz quality that I loved. The song she was singing was about thinking you had strength but feeling untested.
Marcus leaned in behind me. “She’s good,” he said. I knew that tone. He saw something in Sarah, and I saw it too. When the song was finished, the room exploded in applause.
“Good evening, Conway,” Sarah said. “As I’m sure many of you have noticed, we have a special guest in the house tonight.”
Someone in the crowd whooped, “Kat Bennett.”
I blushed.
As expected, no one had treated me like a star, but clearly, they knew I was here.
Sarah continued, “I am so honored that she’s here to see me sing. As many of you know, Kat taught me to play...”
“Oh my god,” Cody said behind me, “like how many times is she gonna tell everyone that?” I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him rolling his eyes.
“She also helped me write my first song, which I never sing because it’s personal…”
I knew the song. It was a sad, sweet ballad that we wrote together. It was a song about Sarah’s loss and her heartbreak when Molly died.
“But I thought tonight, maybe she’d come up here and sing it with me.”
I did. And I immediately knew I wanted Sarah’s song with her singing lead on my next album. It would be a big choice for her because singing on my record would make her a star.