Sarah
Kat told me to meet her in her dressing room, so I gathered my things and headed that way. I didn’t know what the plan was for tonight, but our next show was in Cleveland in just a few days, so my guess was I’d have to leave tonight or tomorrow morning to get there with the crew. It was my understanding that the opener and her band traveled by bus, while Kat, being the star, traveled by plane.
I was looking forward to being on the road with the crew. It felt like an adventure to me. I’d never been anywhere. Actually, that’s not totally true. We took vacations as a family sometimes, but I’d never been out on my own. In my head, life on tour was going to be like Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, a wild poetic artistic trial in my journey as a human. It was going to be friendships and fights and drunken debauchery. It was my coming-of-age tale.
As long as I could totally avoid Horse. He was the last thing I needed, another male figure in my life telling me what to do. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to tell me I needed shoes, and what kind of apology was that? What a butthead. And yet, I could still feel his hand on my waist. Oh my God, it was like he singed my skin, permanently marked me with his caress, and the sound of his voice when he was close, so deep and growly. It was all I could do to not lean in and crush my body against his.
Why did he un-mic me? Sean seemed to think that was a really big deal, like Horse had to have a reason because a job like that was beneath his status. According to Sean, it was obvious that Horse was into me but that was ridiculous. Horse was terrible to me. He treated me like a child. Also, I’d seen Horse. He was big. He was tattooed. He was hot. He was grumpy. There was no way he was into me. It was absolutely absurd. Could he really want to be close to me?
That so didn’t matter. Ugh. As I entered Kat’s dressing room, I swung my head back and forth, trying to shake my thoughts of Horse free. The room looked similar to where Sean did my hair and makeup, only bigger and more outfitted. There was a full spread of food set up on the counter and a pie that I could swear smelled like home. Bill was sitting on a couch against the wall Facetiming with our dad. “She’s fine, Pops. You should have seen her tonight. Stole the show.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking about me or Kat, but I assumed me. His next words clarified. “She just walked in. You want to talk to her?”
I crossed to the couch Bill was sitting on, dropped my bag at our feet, and smushed next to him so we were both visible on his screen.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Heard you were magnetic tonight.”
I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. “I did alright.”
“So proud of you, baby.”
“Thanks.” I smiled as Kat came out of the bathroom.
“I cannot stop peeing,” she said to no one in particular.
I turned to her. “That’s weird. Are you okay?”
On the screen, my father said, “What? Is who okay?”
Kat’s eyes went wide when she looked at me, and I figured it was because my dad heard me. I certainly wasn’t going to tell my dad Kat was peeing a lot, so I said, “It’s nothing, Dad. Kat just tripped.”
Bill turned the phone so only he was onscreen. “Hey, Pops, we’re going to head out. Can I call you later?”
“Tell him I love him,” I said before turning back to Kat. I mouthed, “Everything okay down there?” I pointed to her vajayjay, flashing a silly smile.
“Oh yeah, I just drink so much water on stage, and then I’m like a waterfall.”
We both laughed.
“So,” I asked. “When are you guys heading to Chicago? Wait, better question, when am I heading to Chicago? And where do I meet the bus or whatever?”
“The three of us will fly out in a couple of days. There is so much I want to show you in New York. I really think you’re going to love—”
My chest flooded with disappointment. I wasn’t just looking forward to being on the road. This tour was supposed to be the first time I got to be more than my brothers’ kid sister and that sure wasn’t going to happen if I was flying all over the country with my brother checking to see if I’d buckled my seat belt. Also, my band was going to think I was a prima donna.
My hackles raised, I interrupted her, “What do you mean the three of us will fly out?”
“I think June scheduled the flight for Thursday afternoon. I have a couple of appointments, but basically—”
I interrupted her again. “What? I’m not flying with you. I go with my band. I have to go with my band, Kat.”
Kat’s face fell and she stumbled over her words. “I thought… Billy said…”
I turned to my brother. “I’m not flying with you.”
“Of course you are,” he said like I was a churlish child.
“No, absolutely not. I’m a musician. I travel with my band. No special treatment.”
“You’re the soon-to-be sister-in-law of Kat Bennett. Why in God’s name would you spend hours driving on a bus when you don’t have to?” Bill argued.
“Because I don't want the whole world to see me as Kat’s kid sister. I don’t want the crew to see me that way, Bill. I want to prove myself, earn my spot. And that requires bus riding, you fool.”
“Don’t call me a fool,” he snapped.
Kat got between us. “Stop. Sarah is right. Touring is a rite of passage for a musician. I should have realized that was what she’d want to do. And she’s also right that crews are catty and there would be chatter about special treatment.”
Bill started to complain but Kat gave him the eye. “I just…”
Kat put her hands on his face and finished his sentence in a tone that was filled with love and comfort. “You want Sarah to be safe. She will be, I promise. She’s a big girl, Bill. And I know my crew. She’ll be fine. They’ll look out for her.”
Suddenly, I felt bad. I hated to be a bother or cause them to worry, but still. “Kat, I…”
She turned back to me. “Nope. Don’t even think about it. You are right. I’ll call June and we will get it sorted.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly, so relieved.
* * *