Emma’s headon my chest was a welcome weight, and it felt like she had immediately carved a little spot, just there, just for her. As we drifted between sleep and awake, knowing that soon, the school run would have to be done, and soon, I’d have to call work. I wondered how I could make this moment of peace last forever. I’d come this close to finding heaven. I wouldn’t let it go so easily.
“I meant to say to you, don’t forget to look into transferring your studies stateside. You should finish your degree here and get it done.”
“What, go to college here?” Emma repeated, sitting up and looking at me.
“Of course. You live here. You’re married. You are not going anywhere, because I won’t let you. Start thinking about how you want your life to look, sweetheart. You’re my wife, you can have whatever you want,” I told her. She considered that, biting her lip, excitement playing on her beautiful face. Just as I was about to ask her what she was thinking, my cell rang. I checked the display and sighed heavily. “I have to take this,” I told her. She looked disappointed, and I understood why. It was our fucking wedding day, and yet, calls from the office didn’t stop. They’d never stop, I realised at that moment, unless I made them. I pressed a kiss to her lips as compensation and answered the call.
After a few minutes, I hung up.
“I have to go,” I told her, feeling like my heart was ripping out my chest as I spoke. Emma’s face fell, and I can’t lie, arrogant prick that I am, I felt gratified by her disappointment. My wife wasn’t as crazy about me as I was about her. That would be impossible, and yet, she was on her way.
“Will you be back for dinner?” she asked me.
“I don’t know, but I’ll try,” I told her, standing up. Her eyes travelled over my naked body, and the temptation to stay was almost too much to bear, but I pulled myself together and got dressed. After all, I wasn’t just going in for work, I was securing my future with this woman. It was worth the sacrifice. “Are you ok?” I asked her, as she sat up, wrapping the sheets around her body, and watched me with sad eyes. She shrugged.
“I’ll survive,” she said shortly. I knew she was thinking of the people who hadn’t made time for her in the past, like she’d confessed. It hurt my heart to make her feel that way, but I had big changes to make, and the urgency to make them was driving me forward.
“I’ll see you later, sweetheart,” I told her, as I left. Every step away felt like a wrenching pain, but it would be worth it. One day, soon, it would be worth it.