My phone ringing brings me out of my daydream. My snazzy new dashboard tells me it’s Salma calling and I am able to answer handsfree while I drive. I tell her I am just around the corner from work and I will be there in five minutes. My thoughts about Ryan and our pathetic excuse of a marriage continue to trouble me.
A marriage is a partnership, and I can no longer delude myself that I can make this work. I meant every word of my vows and I have tried my hardest to get us back on track, but Ryan is no longer the man I married. I don’t know if he ever was the man I thought he was.
He continually stamps all over our marriage and all over me, and I have had enough. He is unfaithful, unsupportive, and negligent towards me and Summer. It’s been almost three years since he even kissed me, never mind anything more intimate. I live a loveless life filled with anger and disdain and I cannot do it anymore. We have not lived as husband and wife since I found out I was pregnant; I can prove that financially we are no longer associated in any way, shape, or form.
Ryan will probably have no objection to us officially divorcing, he has made it quite clear he hates me and he holds no affection for our daughter. Those last thoughts bring tears to my eyes for the second time today. I had hoped to give marriage a better shot than my mother had with her several attempts and yet here I am, 25 years old, looking divorce down the barrel. My mother’s numerous marriages embarrassed me growing up, and my aim was to always do better than she had at sticking to my word and my convictions. Now I was as big a failure as she was.
As I pull up at work, I try to block all the negative thoughts from my brain and concentrate on my work. I have been working at Paloma Azul for more than four years and although it’s far from my dream job, it is a decent job, the pay is better than most similar jobs and my boss happens to be a close friend who is not only extremely understanding but exceedingly helpful too.
Salma Morales is a force to be reckoned with. I met her at 16 years old when we all joined the sixth form college from a wide variety of secondary schools. Salma was self-assured, blunt, and absolutely, stunningly beautiful. I must admit I was really intimidated by her for the first few years of our friendship. In fact, I think I still am!
I know there is something shady about Salma’s family business. However, I do not want to know any more than that. Her parents have always been very welcoming of both me and Summer and have saved me from the past two Christmases alone. Their business is their business. They are lovely people who have treated both me and my daughter like family, they have treated us better than my own family and I will always find time and respect for them for that.
Paloma Azul is an elite nightclub with an exclusive membership list. Every single person who goes in there has paid for the privilege; trust me, I process not only their payments but their tracking details too.
As I reach Salma’s office she is talking on the phone and it makes me smile: it must be Alejandro. I do wonder if she will ever accept him as a partner the way her father would like her too.
“Fuck off, you useless prick, I do not need your help, you can shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.” Salma is shouting fiercely down the phone.
I guess Mr Morales is going to have a long wait!