“Hey, don’t cry. Shortie, I promise I will help you find your daughter.” Aiden’s voice brings me out of my tormented reminiscing. I have wasted so much time trying to change Ryan, trying to be something I am not to make him happy. I am done.
Before I realise it, Aiden’s big, strong arms are around me, and the physical contact brings more tears to my eyes. My little Summer, my little ray of sunshine, I hope she is safe wherever she is. I need her back with me, I cannot bear not knowing where she is and if she is safe and cared for.
It feels so good to be in Aiden’s arms, to be held like I mean something to him. I have so many questions about who he is, what he is and what I am to him. I will be completely transparent and honest: I do feel a connection to him, and if I am going to end my marriage properly maybe this is something I would be willing to consider in the future. Although the thought of being intimate with another man and him judging my performance too scares the living hell out of me. Maybe I will become a nun instead to save my own ego and embarrassment.
Aiden didn’t seem phased when he found out I was a mother which would be a deal breaker for me if he had. Summer is my priority and if I were to bring someone into our lives, they would have to be completely on board with that.
Aside from practicalities and logistics, there is the simple fact that I do find Aiden attractive. He is more appealing to me than anyone else I’ve ever met.
As he holds me in his arms with just a towel covering me, I close my eyes and imagine how it would feel to belong to Aiden, to be the one he wanted, desired and was loyal to. Somehow, I think it would be very different to any prior experience I have had.
It feels like time has stopped as he looks intensely into my eyes. Warmth flows from my head down to my toes and a gnawing starts in the pit of my stomach. I would love for him to kiss me again. Just not now, not while I am still connected to Ryan and certainly not when my daughter is missing.
“I need to get dressed so I can find my daughter,” I tell him as I start to back up from him, disgusted at how easily my thoughts have turned from my poor defenceless daughter to my own wants and needs. I can’t afford to lose my head over a man. I need to concentrate on finding my daughter.