*** Melanie ***
This is the first time I have ever been to Ryan and Eva’s house, and I am both in awe and jealous at the same time. They live in a quiet cul-de-sac in a private estate. Their house is modest but immaculately kept. It is decorated tastefully and with pride.
Apart from one photo of Eva and Ryan together, there is no evidence of Ryan belonging here. The photographs of Summer are numerous and it’s the first time I have seen the daughter of my lover. She is cute, although there is hardly any of Ryan in her, she favours her mother in looks.
I feel inadequate as I look around. My rented home is nothing in comparison to this place, why on earth would Ryan want to leave this comfortable and beautiful home with his wife and daughter to come and live with me?
Then it hits me all at once: it’s because he loves me! He has never ever said it to me even when I have asked him, he’s replied yes but he’s never said the words. But now I understand, he must really, really love me and see a future with me if he is willing to leave all this behind to be with me.
I need to be more understanding of his situation, even now when I am at odds with his peculiar behaviour towards his own child, God knows what mind games Eva has been playing with him for him to be like this. He just needs love, love from me.
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~*~ Flashback ~*~
~~~ Seven Years Ago ~~~
Tonight is the sixth form leaving ball and I have been looking forward to it for months. I am going with my girlfriends, but I will be leaving together with Ryan Jefferson.
I have spent hours getting myself ready, I have been waxed and plucked to within an inch of my life. I have been spray tanned, had my hair cut and highlighted, my nails are now pearly talons and my eyelashes could rival any camels! I am wearing a red silk column dress with no underwear on, and my nipples stand to attention underneath it. Ryan will like that.
I have been drinking vodka in secret with my friends and I feel more than merry. As I sashay onto the dance floor, I make eye contact with Ryan who is standing with an arm draped around Eva and a pang of jealousy runs through me. He hasn’t spoken to me all night, but he hasn’t left Eva’s side, he looks like a puppy trailing around after her.
Eva looks beautiful, she has her hair curled and she is wearing a black ball gown that is strapless. She looks so sophisticated and elegant. Ryan and I do not belong here. Although with his tuxedo on, his hair gelled back and Eva on his arm, you would never guess that, just like me, he came from the rough part of town.
I wait for Eva to go to the bathroom, which she does with her gaggle of friends, and then I pounce on Ryan. “Why are you still with her? I thought tonight was the big reveal where you were going to tell her that it was all a hoax?”
I know from the look in Ryan’s eye that I am not going to like what he has to say. “Thing is Mel, I think I am in there tonight with Eva, and I can’t pass up the opportunity to be the one to pop her cherry, so I am going to the after party with her.” He gives me a sly grin.
“This is still a hoax, isn't it Rye? You don’t love her, do you?” I hear the stinking desperation in my voice but if it’s just a hoax why is contemplating sleeping with her? I think that is taking it a bit far. We have never been exclusive, but I want to be. I love him.
“Don’t start getting clingy, Mel, you know I am a free bird and I like to wander; I have always been honest with you about that.” I don’t feel like he has, I feel like he says the right things, so I do the things he wants me to. I am drunk and mad now.
“Well, I suppose I better find someone else to keep my bed warm tonight then. Hmmm let me see, who looks like they have a big fat dick I can sit on?” He grabs me tight by the arm and pinches the skin, and I give an involuntary yelp.
“You will keep your bed clear for me; I will come to see you as soon as I have collected on Eva. If I find another man in your bed, we are through… understand?” I nod quickly through my tears, relieved that eventually he will end the night with me, just not in the fashion I had hoped and dreamed for.
I went home alone but Ryan never showed up. I don’t think he had any intention of coming to me, but he made sure that I made arrangements with no one else.
The next day I stay in bed, I feel so down and depressed and ashamed. What is so wrong with me that Ryan, the boy I gave my virginity and heart to, wouldn't be seen dead with me in public? I hear him throwing stones at my bedroom window like he always does but I just stay in bed, I feel broken and let down by him. I keep making him the priority whereas I am nowhere on his importance scale.
He eventually knocks and my mum lets him in, and he comes upstairs into my room.
“Leave me alone, Ryan,” I tell him in an emotionless voice. He pulls the covers back off me.
“What is up with you, grumpy?” I turn away from him and face the wall with the tears already forming in my eyes.
“Look, I brought you flowers and everything. I didn’t nail Eva. Is that why you’re upset?” I turn to face him and true to his word, he has a bunch of flowers in his hands.
“Do you love her?” I need to know, I don’t expect him to say he loves me, not until he is ready but if he loves Eva then whatever we are is over.
He starts to laugh. “No, of course I don’t. Is that what you’re worried about, silly? Come on, Mel, you’re my fun time girl, I can’t cope with you crying and sad. This thing with Eva… you know I’m just intrigued, and I want to get back at Luke for being a dick. Someone like Eva couldn’t keep me satisfied. Not like you.”
“Is it nearly over with then? I want to be together properly, Rye, like you said we would be.” He kisses my head, and climbs into bed with me, pressing his already hard member against my back.
“It’s nearly over, just a couple more weeks. I promise”.
~~~ End of Flashback ~~~