Once I allowed Preston to love me, he sincerely did but I constantly pushed back against him, scared to be vulnerable and waiting for him to get bored and leave. And yet he never did.
I had protested so long against the traditions and proclaimed myself an independent woman who didn’t need a man that now... now I want a man, my man, my fated mate and I feel unable to fully claim him because I would be seen as a fake and phoney by all my fellow equal rights protestors.
However, does me being with Preston, wanting to be with him and sharing a life with him make me a weak woman? Does sharing my life with Preston take away my ability to look after myself and be myself? Because I swear, I feel stronger for being by his side, he doesn’t take away from me, he enhances me.
The first people to knock me down if I was to choose to be with Preston would be supposed ‘independent women’, yet that doesn’t scream strength to me. It screams unhealthy and unrealistic double standards for women yet again.
I want to be a strong woman in a committed relationship with a strong man, why is that so hard?
And now because of my stupid standards and opinions, I am losing him, he is going to leave me and despite all the barriers I put up, he found a way into my heart and soul. I am heading for heartbreak, and I feel powerless to stop it happening.