Prologue
Charlotte
One Month before High School Graduation
The crunch of the gravel under my sneakers echoes out into the night. Normally, I wouldn’t venture out here this late, but I needed to get out of my house before I blew up like a hand grenade.
I can’t listen to my mother go on and on about prom and graduation any more. I don’t care about those things as much as she does, but she just can’t seem to get that through her head.
Like a beacon calling me home, the sight of the lights dancing on the water draws me closer, like a breath of fresh air and a semblance of peace.
Allen, the old security guard who mans the gate at night, gives me a polite nod as I walk up to him. We have a mutual understanding—I’m allowed to come and go as I please as long as I bring him a Snickers bar each night I pay the park a visit.
“You got your payment?” he asks as I step up to his station.
“Always, Allen. You know I’d never let you down,” I say as I shove my hand in my purse, locate the Snickers bar, and politely hand it over.
“Dependable as always, Charlotte.” He licks his lips as he tears open the wrapper. “But just to forewarn you, you aren’t alone this evening.”
“No?”
“Nope. Someone else wanted to get lost tonight too.”
I twist my head to look out over the small park on the edge of a lake, a historical landmark in town that closes to the public each night at eight. But since my bribery skills are up to par, Allen lets me in here whenever I want.
I love being here after hours when it’s completely empty. It allows me to remember a simpler time when being a kid was all about what games you were going to play, how fast you could run, and the excitement that came when you buckled in for a ride that you knew would make your stomach flip.
Now life is about making decisions regarding my future and putting up with my mother and her incessant nagging for just a few more months until I can move out to California for college.
I can’t fucking wait.
“Well, if I cross paths with this other person, listen out for my scream, will you?”
Allen chuckles. “I don’t think he’ll do you much harm. Have a good night.” With a tip of his hat and a bite of his candy bar, Allen waves me off as I trek further into the park, the gravel ending beneath my shoes as I hit the grass and make my way for the best part of this little slice of heaven—the carousel.
Only one row of lights is on along the top as I walk near, but that’s actually what I prefer. The dim lighting casts a soft glow around the ride, just enough to be able to see, but not too bright that you can’t see the water in the distance or your eyes sting from the iridescence.
I open the metal gate, the hinges squeaking as I do, before walking around the carousel to locate my favorite horse, Maribel. Stepping onto the platform, I take a seat on the full sleigh bench right behind her.
“It’s been a while, Maribel,” I say, placing my bag next to me on the bench and then reaching for my notebook, eager to get a few journal entries in. The journal covered in sunflowers stares back at me, full of words and secrets I don’t dare utter out loud.
As I flip open to a fresh page, I write down the date and get to work, sorting through my feelings and the events of the night that got me here. But I only get two sentences down before a voice startles me to my right.
“Charlotte Montgomery.”
Twisting to the side, I find Damien Shaw, the boy I hate more than drivers who don’t use their turn signals, leaning over the metal fence that encircles the carousel, his arms dangling over the bars as he props himself up.
“Ugh. What are you doing here?” I ask, turning my attention back to my notebook and finishing my thought that he interrupted.
“I might ask you the same question.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I actually come here quite often.”
“Really? Because so do I.” That catches my attention.
Looking back over at his slimy smile, piercing blue eyes, and his head covered in a backward ball cap, I glare in his direction. “Since when?”
“Since the beginning of senior year,” he says, removing his hat to scratch his head only to put it back in place once he’s done.
“Are you stalking me, then?” I shut my notebook.
He huffs out a laugh. “Hell no. I guess I’ve just been lucky enough never to cross paths with you until now. Seems my luck ran out tonight.”
“Apparently mine did too. Now if you don’t mind, I came out here to be alone, so…” I wave him off, but he just stands there as his face falls.
“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one who wants to be alone, alright?”
As I lean back on the bench, clutching my notebook to my chest, I think about how many entries in here are centered on the boy standing in front of me—my nemesis, the one person I love beating more than anything even though just the sight of him makes my blood boil.
Have you ever had a person in your life you could classify as a frenemy? Someone you have to play nice with, tolerate, and act like you like them—but deep down, you both try to outdo the other and feel deep joy when you succeed? Well, that’s Damien for me.
I’m not sure when our little competition began, but as far back as I can remember, Damien and I have competed to be the best at anything and everything in school. To make matters worse, our parents are best friends, so we have to see each other all the time.
And he always acts like we’re such good friends in front of them, when in reality, the boy has perfected each and every way to get under my skin.
“What on earth could you possibly need to get away from?” I scoff, opening up my notebook once more when I realize I don’t really care why he’s here and the quicker we get this conversation over with, the better.
“Nothing I’m sure perfect little Charlotte Montgomery could understand. I bet you can do no wrong in your parents’ eyes.”
That comment has my pulse flaring. “You have no idea what my life is like, Damien.” He has no clue what my mother says every day that makes me feel less than, how an A on every test or paper never feels like enough, and that constantly worrying about my physical appearance is making me consider skipping breakfast all together now.
“Ditto, Charlotte,” he spits back, instantly defensive and standing up from his perch against the metal fence.
“So why don’t you try to explain it to me, huh? Or is the poor little rich boy just pouting because he didn’t get into UCLA like he wanted?”
Damien smirks with a cocky grin. “Seems USC knew what they’d be missing out on if they didn’t take me though, huh? Bet you can’t say the same,” he counters, knowing that getting into USC was my dream and I was unsuccessful in securing that. On the flip side though, Damien wanted to get into UCLA and I was able to, so we both got what the other person wanted—yet another reason for this hatred between us to continue.
“God, I can’t wait until we graduate and I can leave you and this crummy town behind,” I grumble as my hands shake from the adrenaline running through me.
“I know it’ll be hard not to want to keep tabs on me, Charlotte, but please, try to restrain yourself.”
“Eat a bag of testicles, Damien.”