Now, it’s my turn to laugh. The sound comes out more like a cackle. “What is this, Victorian England? Will our dates be chaperoned, too? Do I need a signed permission slip to go buy tampons from the pharmacy?”
“Are you imagining us going on dates, Emery?”
I dismiss him with a wave. “Don’t change the subject. You can’t lock me up like some little parakeet in a gilded cage. I don’t give a shit how rich and fancy and powerful you think you are.”
“Do you prefer being penniless and living in a shithole?”
“At least I was free,” I spit back.
“Free to be raped by Malcolm Waters because your shit-for-brains landlord sold him a key. Ah, yes, the American fucking dream. Quintessential freedom.”
His words strike like a physical blow. I flinch hard. It’s only then I realize how close we are.
Without me realizing it, we’ve both leaned towards one another, moving closer with every back and forth. Now, Adrik’s face is mere inches from mine. His breath smells like the lemon cookie he ate at Jasmine’s bakery, and despite everything, I’m tempted to lean forward and lick into his mouth.
To taste it for myself.
To see if the poison that is Adrik Tasarov is as sweet as it appears.
Instead, I force myself to jerk away from him. “I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult.”
“Only one of us is making things difficult. It is not me.”
“Then explain things to me!” I beg. “Something, anything, just one freaking thing!”
“There are things you can’t know. That you shouldn’t know,” he growls. “For your own good and for mine.”
“Forgive me if I don’t trust you.”
“Curiosity killed the cat, Emery. And having the police lurking around me and my business because you get yourself murdered isn’t high on my to-do list.”
I inhale sharply. “Is that… a threat?”
“When I threaten you, you will know it,” he seethes. “Believe it or not, I’m actually doing this for your benefit. Same as I did when I saved you at the gala, and again at your apartment. You should be on your fucking knees, thanking me.”
I hate how he talks to me. But more than that…
I hate that he’s right.
I hate that I’m in his debt. Twice now.
“Listen, I’m—”
He holds up a hand to stop me. “I’ve told you how useless I find apologies. Come back to me when you’re feeling properly grateful.”
I grit my teeth. “Listen, trusting people doesn’t come easily to me. No one in my life has ever had my best interests at heart. And even though you’ve helped me out tonight, I still don’t know you. I don’t know who you are, and I certainly don’t understand ‘your world,’ as you put it.”
He stares until I think his gray-blue eyes are going to pierce straight through me.
Until I start to doubt myself.
Am I being stupid? If Adrik backs out of this deal, what am I going to do? Malcolm has the key to my apartment. The key to my life. The key to my daughter’s health.
If I’m turning my back on Malcolm, then my hand is forced. I can't refuse Adrik and I certainly can't turn him away.
Without Adrik, I have nothing.
But without my freedom, I also have nothing.
I’m caught between two monsters with nowhere else to go.
"I'll agree to everything else," I say, lifting my chin. "But I'm not going to be surveilled like I’m on death row."
His tongue slides over his white teeth like a hungry predator. I meet his eyes and try to ignore the heat rising up in me. The way my body is drawn towards him, even as I’m asking for more distance.
Finally, he leans back and shrugs. “As you wish.”
“I—” I’m so prepared to keep arguing my point that it takes me a second to change course. “Wait, what?”
“As you wish,” he repeats. “If you want to get yourself killed, that's your business."
"I've survived just fine on my own for this long," I snap back.
“‘Just fine’ is debatable. But I’ll set it aside for now. Do you have any other demands?”
“I, uh…” I shake my head. “Well, no. No, I don’t. I didn't even think you'd agree to—”
“This is a deal. Not a prison sentence. Despite your dramatics, I’m not holding you captive,” he says. “I've promised to take care of your daughter, and I will. I've promised to deal with your fiancé, and I will. And I've promised to let you run around, doing as you please and throwing yourself into reckless situations because you’re too stubborn to avoid them. Which, I'm sure, you will."
I roll my eyes and bite back a smile. Adrik has told me he isn’t generous. That he isn’t selfless. He told me not to look for the good in him.
But I can’t help finding it.
Malcolm would have threatened me to get me to agree with him. Actually, he wouldn't have even given me the opportunity to disagree. Everything had to happen on his terms, all the time.
This? Negotiating? It’s… new for me.
“You’re really agreeing? Just like that?”
He holds out his hand. “Do we have a deal, Emery Montague?”
I study his fingers like there might be a poison needle attached or something. Is this some kind of trick?
But why would Adrik need to trick me? All he needs is a wife until his dad dies. With a face that symmetrically perfect and more money than God, there are plenty of willing women for him to choose from. Most of them would have already begged for him to bless them with his dick.
If Adrik really didn’t like my terms, then he’d cut his losses and leave.
I have to assume he’s being honest.
When I slide my hand into his, his warmth envelopes me, chases away the cold that has been seeping into my bones all night. I try not to imagine what those deft fingers would feel like roaming over other parts of my body.
“We have a deal,” I whisper.
I hope to God I haven’t doomed us all.
* * *