Someone who would choose me over everything.
Chapter Sixteen
Finn
I wake up comfortable, which is a problem.
I normally wake up with a thousand things on my mind already. My to-do list haunts my dreams. My dad, my brother, the company. The list of my responsibilities. The list of my failures. But this morning as I come awake, I’m comfortable. A lazy kind of comfort.
My eyes stay closed, because I want to preserve the feeling.
Maybe it’s a dream.
Then I feel her. The warmth across my chest. The faint silky strands of hair tickling my nose. An intense case of morning wood. Last night comes back to me with a rush of wild emotion. I enjoy sex as much as any man, but that was something different. It was uncontrollable, as if lust made my muscles move.
It drove me instead of logic, which is terrifying.
Part of me wants to gently move her aside, to slip out before she even wakes up. That would be the cowardly route. The other part of me wants to order a full brunch on DoorDash and spend the day in bed with her. The warring impulses make my heart pound.
I couldn’t keep myself away from her last night. I fucked her several different ways, several different times, until finally she could take no more. She lay there, limp and sated, while I came for the last time. Then I collapsed next to her, where I stayed until morning.
Sunlight peeks around the edges of a thick curtain.
I’m fucked. I knew I shouldn’t have come up here last night. I knew the right answer was to say no, to go back home and manage my house, and my life, and my family the way I always do. I knew and I did it anyway. Who the fuck am I becoming? I’m good at making these kinds of decisions. I’m good at knowing when I’ve reached my limit. I know how long I can be away from home. I calculate it down to the second. I know how long I can lose myself in drinks or games or people. I’m always back on time.
I’m past my limit with Eva.
Far past it, in fact. I have to admit that it feels good.
I anticipated that once I fucked her, the insane lust I feel around her would cool. Judging by the steel bar that is my cock right now, that isn’t going to happen. She’s soft and warm in her sleep. I want to slip inside her before she’s even awake, to feel her slick and swollen around my cock, to rub her clit with my fingers so the first thing she knows on awakening is orgasm.
There’s another impulse inside me. One that says she’s at peace, and I don’t want to do anything to disturb her. I’ve never been a man to deny myself pleasure. She would enjoy it, too. So why can’t I make myself wake her up? Even as I burn for a touch of her velvety skin.
Christ. I’m well and truly fucked.
Eventually she stirs. Her body shifts in subtle ways until she becomes completely still.
She’s remembering last night.
“Good morning,” I say, my voice still scratchy with sleep.
She gives me a cautious, doe-eyed glance. “Good morning.”
Now that she’s awake, I give in to the urge to touch her. To caress her. I run my hand up and down her arm. “I didn’t mean to spend the night.”
Embarrassment crosses her expression. “I’m sorry. I don’t know the morning after etiquette. Am I supposed to make you coffee? Or look the other way while you get dressed?”
Fuck, she’s so sweet. And strangely innocent. The world knows Eva Morelli as an incredibly smart and competent woman. This is a secret side of her. One only I get to see… for right now, anyway. Nothing lasts forever. Definitely not me. “You don’t have to do a damn thing. But I can get out of your hair if you want.”
“I’d like it if you stayed,” she says, sounding almost shy. “This is nice.”
“Then I’ll stay.”
She snuggles closer to me, curving her body against mine. The feel of her breasts makes my cock throb. I want to push her back and spread her legs and—
No. I force myself to wait, to revel in this different sort of intimacy. Rare in my world. And if I had to guess, rare in hers as well. It makes me curious about her sexual history. It’s taboo to ask, but the speculation doesn’t stop. She seemed hesitant last night. Not only because we were taking this to a new level, but also as if she wasn’t used to sex. Maybe she hasn’t had it all that often.
Maybe it’s been a while. She could have even been a virgin, she was that tight.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask, my voice low.
Tension runs through her body. I stroke down her side, onto her lower back.